“Why are you avoiding dealing with this? I thought you wanted nothing more than to solve the mystery of Nevermore.”
“That was before I knew my father was involved.”
“Why does that change things?”
“Because… becauseit just does!”
Quoth winced. Remorse shot through me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. This letter has turned my head upside down. And Morrie’s being a cock and I just…”
Quoth leaned in and brushed his lips against mine. “I wish I understood. You sure you don’t just want to stay here? We could watch the stars through the attic window.”
The thought of snuggling up with Quoth made my stomach flip, but I shook my head. “That sounds amazing, but I can’t. I need to think, and I can’t do that if I’m with any of you. You turn my head all mushy.”
“You still want me to come with you in the morning?”
“What’s in the morning? Oh.”
My heart dropped like a stone.
In the morning.
I’d completely forgotten.
In the chaos of the letter and Lydia and the Jewel Thief and the Jane Austen Experience, it had slipped my mind that I made an appointment with a new ophthalmologist in nearby Barchester General Hospital. She was going to run tests on my eyes and hopefully give me a clue as to how fast I could expect to lose my vision now that I was seeing random neon lights. Only Quoth knew about it because I asked him to come with me. It was the whole reason I was staying at Jo’s that night. The appointment was first thing in the morning and I didn’t want Mum or the guys to ask questions.
Shit shit shit.On top of everything else, I had to face the news of my impending blindness. Great.
I squeezed Quoth’s hand. “Yes, please come with me.”
His hands felt warm even through my woolen gloves. He leaned forward, pressing his lips against my forehead. “It’s going to be okay, Mina.”
I almost believed him.
Chapter Seven
“Are you sure you’re going to be okay in the hospital?” I asked Quoth for the fiftieth time as our rideshare joined the dual carriageway heading down to Barchester. “It’s a big place, and there’ll be lots of people and weird beeping machines.”
Quoth leaned across the backseat and squeezed my hand. “You’ll be there, and that’s all that matters. Stop asking me if I’m okay. That’s supposed to bemyjob. Areyouokay?”
I swallowed hard. Worrying about Quoth accidentally shifting in public was distracting me from the true purpose of our little excursion. I didn’t want to think about it.
“I’m fine. Better when I’m not talking about it. How’s Morrie coping with his new friend?”
“When I flew down this morning, he was huddled on the chaise lounge under the window. I think he got kicked out of his bed. Lydia bounced down after me. I left as she was measuring him for his wedding top hat.”
The driver pulled up in front of a gleaming hospital. I hadn’t been inside Barchester General since I was in high school and I broke my arm in the mosh pit at a local punk show. My initial diagnosis of retinitis pigmentosa came from an ophthalmologist in New York City, but since I didn’t have two quid to rub together (hilariously, being a bookshop assistant paid even less than my fashion internship), going back to him was out of the question. My new specialist’s office informed me that all my records had been successfully moved over.
Now there was nothing to do but face my doom.
My fingers curled around the edge of the seat. Quoth ran around the side of the car and opened the door for me. He took my hand. “You look like you’re heading to the gallows.”
“Maybe I am.”
“You’ve already had one shock this week,” he said. “If you want to go home and leave this for another day, I understand.”
My father’s letter flashed in front of my eyes. All night I stared at the ceiling in Jo’s flat, the words running over and over again, mingling with my fear of losing my sight. Twice last night I’d seen the floating neon lights, in lurid shades of pink and green. I couldn’t deal with that right now, but Ihadto deal with this.
I shook my head. “Don’t give me the option of turning this car around, because I’ll take it. Ihaveto do this. Half the fear I have is the not-knowing. When I know, I can face it.”
