For the first time since I’d known him, Morrie was utterly speechless. He stared from Grimalkin to me and back again. I could see the cogs in his mind turning over what I’d said, judging if I was pulling his leg, before accepting that once again, another weird thing had happened in Nevermore Bookshop.
As quickly as they could, Heathcliff, Quoth, and Grimalkin explained what had just transpired. Morrie glided through the room, planted a kiss on my lips that drew me back from the depths of my head, and offered around the box of cronuts. Theyweredelicious. There was nothing like sugary baked goods to temper one’s anxiety about one’s Homeric father taking on Count Dracula and one’s cat grandmother being naked in the middle of one’s shop.
“This is a fascinating new development,” Morrie said, biting into a cronut and dropping crumbs across the rug. Both Quoth and Grimalkin glanced down at the crumbs with forlorn expressions, perhaps intending to return to pick them from the rug later. “Here I was, all ready to tell you that I translated those words from Ancient Greek for you, all ready to dramatically re-enact the blinding of Polyphemus with Heathcliff playing the Cyclops, all ready to accept your everlasting praise and adoration, and you’ve bloody gone and solved the whole thing without me.” He smiled at me, trying to show he was joking, but there was the tiniest waver in his voice that told me something was up.
Again, I wondered what could make the world’s foremost criminal mind nervous. Was it learning thatCount Draculawas somewhere in the world? That sure as fuck made me want to curl up into a ball in the corner.
“We haven’t solved anything,” I said. “We still need to find my father. And Dracula. Who knows how many people he could kill or… or vampires he could turn. Forget Danny, forget the shop, this is the most important case we’ll ever solve.”
Morrie reached for another cronut. “Indeed. Luckily, I’m here to lend my expertise. I do have one important question for our former feline.”
“Yes?” Grimalkin lifted a perfectly arched eyebrow in a manner that could only be described as cat-like.
“Can you tell us the answer to the Homeric Question? Because I know an awful lot of scholars who’d pay good money for that question—”
The bell tinkled again. Heathcliff rose to his feet, his face thunderous. I shot out an arm but a familiar voice stopped me cold.
“Yoo-hoo, Mina!” Mum called. “I brought over some Champagne to celebrate. You won’t believe it – tomorrow, I get the keys to my brand new Mercedes!”
Chapter Twenty
“Shite, it’s Mum!” I hissed. Any second now, she was going to walk in here and see a very young and mostly naked Grimalkin luxuriating on top of our display table. I leaped to my feet and made a shooing motion. “Get off. You need to hide.”
“Why?” Grimalkin glowered at me as she gestured to her languid form. “I’m not Schrodinger’s pet. You can’t put all ofthisback in the box.”
“Just get under the table, or I’ll—”
“I’m going to pick it up at the dealer tomorrow, and I’m having a party to celebrate—” Mum stopped short as she entered the room and saw the naked Grimalkin draped over the table. “Mina, what’s going on? Who is this woman?”
“Um, right… yes, well…”
How can I possibly explain this?
Quoth grabbed a journal and pencil from Heathcliff’s desk. I noticed he’d managed to shrug a throw rug over his shoulders like a shirt, and he crouched down behind the desk so Mum wouldn’t get an eyefull of… of all of him. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Wilde. This is a life drawing session. I’m trying to get into art school, and I need more figure experience for my portfolio. Miss, ah…”
“Grimalkin. Miss Cat Grimalkin,” she said pointedly.
“Right… Miss Grimalkin offered to pose for me. She does this sort of thing for a living.” He managed to look both charming and sheepish. “It’s not anything dodgy, I swear.”
Great thinking, Quoth!
Mum wrinkled her nose. “Why are you having this drawing session in the middle of the shop, wearing what looks like a blanket, and why are my daughter and her boyfriend and thatgypsywatching it?”
I’d tried to explain to Mum several times that she shouldn’t use the word gypsy, but these things usually went in one ear and out the other, especially when she was throwing herself into another of her schemes. Right now, I just needed her to believe Quoth’s story.
“We’re … er, trialing it. For the shop!” I exclaimed. “Yes, that’s it. We think local artists might want to run a regular life drawing class here. We were just seeing if the… er… lighting is bright enough.”
“What do you think?” Grimalkin stretched one long leg over her head, giving us all a full view of… well, of everything. “Is my skin luminescent? Is my pose pleasing? Have I earned a saucer of cream?”
“A what?” Mum frowned at the woman.
“Yes, sure! I think you’ll do nicely. Thanks, Cat. You can go get dressed now.” I gave Grimalkin a pointed look. After far too many tense moments, she slid off the table and simpered past Mum, heading for the staircase. As she passed under the door, she tipped her chin at Mum.
“The face that launched a thousand ships looks more like the barnacled belly of a trireme now.”
“Huh?” Mum looked confused. “What did she say?”
“Nothing.” I glared at Grimalkin, who flashed me an evil smile and flounced upstairs. “Don’t worry about it. She’s an artist. They’re very temperamental. So, what’s the story about this Mercedes?”
