“No,” Zi said.
“Why the fuck not?What else is life about if not enjoying the dragonshit out of it while we still can?”
No one said a word, so Lev continued: “Every single time we head out, we might die.We’ve got targets on our heads the size of this scorching, asshole island.Everyone hates us.”
“Not Crute,” Night said.
Lev scowled.“No, not Crute.But every-fucking-one else.Junot might wear the crown, but we’re the ones who do his dirty work.Why shouldn’t we live it up while we still can?Huh?Zi, you should be begging me to screw your brains out every damn day we’re stuck here.”
She snorted.“You wish.”
“Yeah, I fucking do, okay?I fucking do.Just surviving ain’t enough for me anymore.Don’t want it to be.Yeah, I don’t need food.But fuck, Iwantfood.I want to savor and lick my fucking lips and taste something other than blood for once.”
“Don’t go putting blood down,” Moncho said.“Baz gets us the best.”
Lev stilled for a moment while he turned to Baz, tipping his head at him in recognition.He ran a hand over his face, then through his hair.“Fuuuuuuck.I think the castle might be getting to me.”
“Really?You think?”Zi said.
“Fuck you, woman.Always riding me hard, and not in the way I want.”
“Stop whining so fucking much and maybe I’ll want to ride you more.”She batted her lashes.“The way you want.”
He scowled, anguish flashing across his face … before he smiled.Baz couldn’t decide if his rebounding was natural or forced.
“See?There’s hope for us yet, woman.Now, let’s get our party on.”
Night and Ed shook their heads.Moncho took a big step toward Lev, but that was to put more distance between himself and the shadows.Zi just smirked.
Lev turned to Baz.“Come on, bro.If anyone’s earned some playtime, it’s you.You never let go.Always carrying the weight of the entire world on your shoulders.Let’s go eat, drink, and be merry.”
“I’m not consuming a thing Mauldrene set out,” Baz said.“Even if she didn’t poison it for them, she will for us.”
“Yup,” Night said, the grips of his two swords looming behind his head, where they crossed his back in a holster.
The castle had plenty of staff.But the servants took orders from Mauldrene, not Baz, and didn’t bother to pretend otherwise.There wasn’t even the guise of staff meetings or subservience to a prince of the entire empire.
He had no idea if the food was the fruit of their hard labor or a flex of faithum.
“Okay,” Lev said.“Then let’s fuck, Baz.You like to fuck.”
While it was true that Baz once had enjoyed fucking—very much—sex was like anything else nowadays: devoid of any real flavor, a way to distract himself from the cries of the dead clamoring for retribution and justice that would never come.
“We got our pick from sixteen of Galmeen’s finest,” Lev said.“Every one of ’em wants your dick, and you know it.Everybody wants to ride your dick.”
“Classy, Lev,” Zi said.“Real classy.”
Lev kept his eyes on Baz.“That Jaeda seems real good, real nice, right?Pretty, too.And she isn’t scared of you, either.”
Baz couldn’t help but be aware of how formidable his physique was.The reminder was in how strangers’ eyes widened when they took him in, how they were quick to avert their gazes, how they stiffened and clutched their loved ones if they were at their side, as if afraid to provoke the beast.
A monster so long in the making Baz didn’t remember when, exactly, he’d first become one.
Was it when Junot rebirthed him into a vampire?Before then?He already had blood on his hands before Junot ever tracked him down, promising him a life so different from his previous one that Baz would forget.
Baz had never forgotten, no matter how many years passed.
He’d just gradually become the very kind of monster he’d so loathed.
