He slides his own coffee out, puts the tray with Kristin’s cup on the nightstand. Then he settles on the bed, careful not to dimplethe mattress too much. He sat beside Emma like this for most of last night, and the intimacy of it no longer feels strange. They’re just sitting here, watching soundlessSchoolhouse Rock!together.
Emma sips her coffee. ‘You get some sleep?’
‘Yeah. I feel more human now.’
‘Good.’
‘How areyoufeeling?’
‘Exhausted.’ She rests the cup on her knee again, lays her head back. Light shifts on her face from the television. ‘Nauseated. Embarrassed.’
‘I guess we’re not going out for breakfast in the hotel restaurant, then,’ Travis joshes her gently, before sipping from his cup. ‘Hey, don’t be embarrassed.’
‘Easy to say.’ She examines the lid of her coffee.
‘Seriously. If people don’t understand, fuck ’em. They’re stupid.Theyshould be the ones who’re embarrassed.’
Emma turns her head, deflecting. ‘I need a shower.’
‘Drink your coffee first.’
Scooter Computer and Mr Chips are talking about baseball on the screen; Travis isn’t trying to make any sense of it. He listens to the little noises – tiny rustles and sighs – that Emma makes as she slowly comes back to full function. He thinks he’s getting better at just being present with her. It’s quite comfortable here on the bed.
Emma’s voice emerges quietly. ‘Travis, why haven’t you been home to see your family?’
A graph appears on the TV, and Travis watches it turn into a rocket ship. He can’t sayI don’t knowin answer to her question, because he does know. It’s just hard to express. Hard to be vulnerable.
But Emma has already had to reveal way more about herself to him than she is comfortable with. The least he can do is be honest in return.
‘Mom talks about my dad like he’s still around,’ he says finally. He keeps his eyes on the television. ‘Your father always saysorYour father is so proud of what you’re doing– that’s the way she talks about him. I know it’s a small thing, and it’s important for her. It’s nothing I can change. Nothing I shouldwantto change. It’s what she needs. But it hurts every time I go home. Every day, it’s like a dozen paper cuts.’ He swallows more coffee. ‘So I thought maybe a little space and time would help.’
Emma nods slowly. She takes another sip from her cup. ‘You want to go back eventually though, right?’
‘Yeah.’ He leans his own head against the wall. ‘Maybe I’ll go see my uncle first.’
‘Your uncle?’
‘He has land in Guanajuato. Good land. He keeps horses.’ On-screen, Scooter Computer and Mr Chips zoom around on their skateboards together. Travis watches them absently. ‘When this case is all over, I think I’d like to go spend some time with the horses.’
Emma nods. ‘Sounds nice.’
‘Yeah.’ Travis lets the pause spin out a little, before he leans his shoulder against hers. ‘You don’t want to pull the plug here and go home?’
‘No.’ Emma sighs out a long breath. ‘I can’t. Linda Kittiko is still out there.’
‘We’ll find her,’ Travis says softly. ‘We’ll find this guy. It’ll all stop. It’ll be over soon.’
Emma tilts her head sideways, until it’s resting on his shoulder. ‘I really hope so.’
Travis finds his own head turning, until his cheek rubs against her crown. ‘It’ll be okay.’ He brushes his lips against her stubbled scalp and it feels very natural. ‘Go have a shower, Emma.’
While she’s in the shower, the phone rings. He sets down his coffee and switches on the bedside lamp, debates for a moment whether to answer the phone again in Emma’s hotel room – people might get the wrong idea. Then he realizes it doesn’t matter and he’s being stupid, so he stands and walks over to pick up the receiver.
It’s Carter, who talks for some while. After the conversation is over, Travis is glad that Emma didn’t have to deal with it. Problem is, now he has to tell her.
Bad news – bad news, every goddamn time…
As he’s thinking that, the bathroom door opens and she emerges, barefoot, in jeans and the white tank. Steam puffs around her in the lamplight, bringing with it the tang of her soap. She looks fresher, and she’s scrubbing at her head with a towel in a way Travis has seen her do before, and for a dizzying moment, he’s very aware that he is in her room, and they are alone. Then sanity returns and the conversation with Carter floods back, and he realizes that he has to tell her.
