Big Ball of Cranky
That’s what Reggie called me, in disgust, after I lost three hands of poker at the kitchen table and did my block at him. That was at nine, and I was killing time before going to the club. Reggie departed for the CBD corners, and Steph – making a rare evening appearance in the kitchen – told me to take my tanty outside because some people in the house were trying to work. Then I told her to shut up, and then we insulted each other some more until it was more than I could stand, so I hauled myself up and left.
Now it’s nearly eleven and I don’t know if being in Flamingos is making it better. Beer has taken the edge off, but I still feel restless. Barry’s gone to do some job so it’s just me and Ando and Snowie making small talk, confirming what I’ve always thought: that there’s a limit to how much you can hang shit on each other, and talk footy and fucking before it starts to sound like fingernails on a blackboard. I’m hoping Leon will call me for a delivery – something, anything – before I lose my mind.
I’m trying not to dwell on the conversation with Amie at the river this arvo. I’m damned if I know what made me so maudlin, and I wish I could take it back, every bloody word. Nobody needs to know it, nobody needs to hear it, especially not her. She’s got enough going on. And I can’t fuckingbelieveDad fronted her at the hospital. I’ve been battling the urge to jump in the Pitbull, drive back to Five Mile, and slug him on her behalf.Here’s one for the black-haired chick on the desk.That’d be disastrous, but it’s what I feel like doing.
So I guess I’m riled. And the thought of Amie leaving Mildura is bringing me down. Which it shouldn’t, cos I don’twanther this close to the action. But…I like seeing her in person. I like knowing she’s around. It’s selfish but I can’t seem to help it.
‘Hey, check it out,’ Ando says. ‘Curried wogs.’
A very bad feeling makes me look up, follow the line of his eyes, and suddenly…
My first thought isOh shit. Following hard on its heels is my second thought, that this is really not my night. And then I thinkOh shitagain.
Because I can see Amie.
She’s standing at the bar with two other girls: an Italian-looking chick and another girl who’s most likely Indian. Amie’s got her hair twisted up and eyeliner on, and chunky-heeled boots, and some kind of sparkly purple top which she may be wearing as a dress. She looks so fucking amazing I want to get up and go over to her immediately.
But I want to do that anyway because of theabsolute goddamn panicthat churns inside me as soon as I spot her. She smiles at her mates, does a quick scan of the place. I can tell by the way her gaze lingers on me, for the briefest second, that she’s realised I’m here.
Snowie guffaws at Ando’s joke, then smiles at the girls huddled by the bar. His eyes narrow with a predatory glint.
‘I know that chick.’ He leans towards me. ‘Harris, d’you know that chick? The Paki chick in the purple dress – what’s her name? Copper’s daughter.’
I can’t let my face give anything away. I slow my breathing, keep my eyes down. A burning sensation starts somewhere in the back of my throat, like the beer is repeating on me.
I force myself to sound off-hand. ‘Yeah. The sarge’s kid. I’ve seen her around.’
‘You know her?’
‘I’ve seen her. She works at the hospital.’ I take a long swallow of my drink, set it down. ‘Don’t know her personally.’
‘She’s cute, for a Paki.’ Snowie nods contemplatively. ‘I could just about take a bite of that.’
‘Great tits,’ Ando agrees.
The desire to lunge across and slam both their faces into the tabletop comes upon me so suddenly, so violently, I’m almost blinded by it.
Snowie lifts his chin at the girls. ‘I should have a crack, whaddya reckon? Blow some smoke up the sarge’s arse, eh, if I got a taste of his baby girl!’
I have to breathe a couple of times before I trust myself to unclench my fists.
‘Nah, mate. Not worth it.’ My voice sounds like I’ve been dragged across barbed wire by the throat. ‘But if you really want the sarge breathing down your neck every time you leave Mildura, hey, go for your life.’
Snowie makes a face. ‘Yeah, I guess.’
I gulp beer like I’m dying, finish my bottle.
‘Fuckin’ thirst, mate!’ Ando stands for the next round. ‘Anybody else want one?’
‘Yeah, me.’ But Snowie’s still looking at the girls. ‘Y’know what I reckon? I reckon I’m gonna ask her to dance.’
And I’m gonna do something I’ll regret, any minute now.
I stand up abruptly. ‘Fuck off, Snow. You always take the hot chicks and leave us the dregs.’ I produce a large fake smile. ‘Let’s ask her. You and me – see which one she picks, eh? Ladies’ choice.’
He tries to chuff his way out of it, but when Ando starts hassling him he gives in. So it’s the two of us who walk up to Amie and the girls, Snowie slithering to a halt in front of them. I squeeze in beside him just as Amie turns around with her beer.
