‘There may be a time when I call you to me, bebe, but that time is not now. Now is when you have the chance to be young, to have freedom to do the things that are important to you. I have had that time, and now I give it to you.’
Nani uncurls her hands from mine and I half-expect there to be something resting on my palm, like she’s performed a magic trick. But there’s no magic trick. It’s just that she wants to kiss my hand, press it to her cheek.
The magic wasn’t in her actions, but in her words.
‘I wasn’t…’ My blinks are damp. ‘I was going to stay, Nani. But I changed my mind.’
‘Good,’ she states. ‘Then that handsome boy is having a positive effect on you.’
I laugh, dash at my eyes with the back of my hand. ‘Yes, but it’s more like… I guess he just showed me it could be done. Harris has had a hard life. So hard I can barely imagine it. He’s had to fight for everything. But…he got free. He makes his own choices. If he can do it, after everything he’s been through, so can I.’
‘I told you he was a good match,’ Nani says.
I laugh again. Then I think of something. ‘What should I say to Mami? She might be upset if I turn her down.’
Nani shakes her head. ‘It was not her decision to make. Maybe in five or ten years, when I am really “losing my marbles”, as they say, she can decide then. But don’t worry, bebe. Let me talk to Hansa. I will sort it out. Now, go. Don’t you have someone you’d rather be talking with?’
She’s right about that too. I kiss her on the cheek, make my way back out to my room and text Harris.
Contact hospital immediately for urgent care needs
It’s not a particularly well-disguised message, but I’m hoping it will do.
*
Hansa is at work. Beena is at college, due home in an hour. I’m considering my options. It’s nearly three in the afternoon, and I haven’t heard from Harris.
I’ve texted him twice more, but I can’t send a barrage of messages. It might seem weird if someone else looks at his phone. At that meeting he attended everyone gave up their phones: could he be stuck in some situation like that again? It’s possible he’s been held up with Leon, or Snowie, or any of the other characters involved in the house at Amblin Court. Maybe he had to take Reggie to the hospital again. Maybe there was an accident. Maybe he’s been arrested.
Or maybe he’s dead, sprawled in a ditch outside of town.
Apparently closing your eyes and squeezing them tight doesn’t alleviate anxiety. Neither does snacking on Beena’s homemade gulab jamun. Neither does walking: I’ve already taken a turn down the street and back with Nani.
I’m not ready to start praying again. That would make me feel desperate.
‘Why don’t you call him instead of sending those little messages?’ Nani watches me pace, from her spot on the kitchen stool.
‘I can’t. He always lets me know when he’s able to receive calls. Or he could get into trouble.’
‘Ah, the police training,’ Nani acknowledges, nodding.
I chew my lip, but I can’t stand it anymore. It’s like I’m ready to burst. ‘It’s not police training, Nani. Harris isn’t training to be a police officer. That was something we said to make you feel better.’
Nani narrows her eyes. ‘Then what is he doing?’
‘He’s –’ I sit down on the stool next to her, close my eyes for the briefest moment. ‘Harris is an informant. He’s working with a local crystal methamphetamine cartel, and relaying the information he finds out back to the police.’
‘Drugs?’ She makes a terrible face. I think she’s read plenty about crystal meth in the newspaper. ‘He is involved withdrugs?’
‘Harris volunteered, Nani. I told you he’s had a hard life. He was offered this job and he took it, on the condition he could work from the inside to bust the cartel.’
‘My god, no wonder you are worried, this is… But he stays in touch with you?’
‘I’m his contact. I send the information back.’ Finally, I can say it out loud.
She looks horrified. ‘Does your father know about this, Amita?’
‘He was the one who set it up.’
