Meanwhile, this strange music flowed from the stage. No harmony, no pretty chords, no singing, just steady unmelodic tones. I couldn’t stand it. It grated on my nerves and added to my frustration. “Who is this guy?” I asked, dying for a pair of earplugs.
“Ravi Shankar.” Livy—well, the old Livy—wouldn’t have liked his music, either, but she swayed her head from side to side with her eyes closed, pretending like she did. “Ravi’s music is transcendent,” she said, like all was well. “Don’t you think?”
I glared at her. It was raining. I was starving. I was thirsty, and I sure didn’t want to talk about—much less listen to—transcendent music.
A large pumpkin-shaped guitar with an abundance of strings and tuning pegs lay across this Ravi guy’s lap. So big he had to play it sitting down. “What’s that instrument he’s playing?” I asked, in an irritated tone.
She answered me in her signature know-it-all voice. “A sitar. Ravi taught George Harrison how to play so he could use it on ‘Norwegian Wood.’”
Ravi.Livy acted like she knew him personally. Before I could respond, another thunderclap crashed. Seconds later it started to pour. People stood up and yelled, cursing at the rain to go away. But the rain didn’t listen. It only got worse. And Ravi played anyway.
In my mind, we had two choices. One, we could stay put, like most of the Woodstockers. Two, we could run for cover. We could head into the woods and use the trees as a leaky umbrella. But that option meant we’d lose our seats. And, worse, we could lose each other.
There was no second option. We had to ride it out.
Johnny removed his jacket and placed it over Livy’s head. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders like he was keeping her warm. And left it there. They looked like boyfriend and girlfriend huddled together. I expected him to kiss her at any moment.
Leon had a better idea. “Let’s do this, you guys,” he said, unzipping his rainproof sleeping bag. “Huddle in.” He tried placing it over all four of us, but it was too small. So Johnny unzipped his and laid it half across Leon’s, creating a much bigger umbrella.
Now, this was a wonderful choice—all of us squeezed in together. It got even better when Leon poked his head out and invited Slim and Dave to join. Because that meant I had to scoot closer to Leon. So close our arms and legs looked glued together. Just touching him sent a jolt of electricity from my head down to my toes.
I peeked out into the crowd. Everyone else had had the same idea. It looked like one giant patchwork quilt hovering over the pasture.
Livy’s mood changed again. This time for the better. With a shimmy in her shoulders, she rubbed her palms together. “This is cozy,” she said before looking right at me. “Ready to get high?” I hesitated just long enough for her to add, “We have to make it through this rain somehow. It’d be a hell of a lot easier if you were high.”
With only a second’s thought, I answered, “Sure.” From the corner of my eye, I saw Leon turn his head toward mine.
“I scored this lid from one of the booths at the bazaar,” Johnny said, pulling a baggie out of his back pocket. “Cat called it great stuff.” With fervent curiosity, I watched as he spread the grass onto a rolling paper. Leon held his lighter close while Johnny picked out the seeds and sprinkled them on the ground. “Next year they’ll be turning this pasture into one helluva pot farm.” He chuckled, twisted an end on the robust joint, and then handed it to me. “You get the first toke, love.”
My readiness to be daring trumped my nerves. Besides, I knew just what to do. I’d been watching everyone around me smoke since I got there. Without another thought, I took the joint from Johnny, pinching it between my thumb and index finger. Dad’s voice rang in my ears, warning me that I’d go straight to hell.
But I did it anyway.
While Johnny lit the end, I put the joint to my lips and sucked.Hard.I drew the smoke into my lungs like a pro. But the second I did, my lungs hurt so bad I hacked it out like a capital-A Amateur. Embarrassment lit my skin on fire. I wanted to die.
Leon pounded my back. He thought he was helping, but he only helped to embarrass me more. I didn’t need a mirror to know my cheeks had turned bright crimson.God’s already punishing me,I thought but went right back for a second puff.
This time I didn’t cough. But I didn’t feel anything, either, so I smoked the joint a third time, then passed it to Johnny.
After it came back to me for a fourth round, with Johnny’s “roach clip” attached to the butt, Leon whispered in my ear. “Not trying tobe your keeper, but since this is your first time, I’d stop.” He gave my thigh a gentle squeeze.
Livy noticed. And cut her eyes toward us. My shoulder was tucked inside his armpit, my thigh on top of his. I might as well have been sitting in his lap. I met her eyes with a look that saidDon’t you dare say a word. Because that’s normally what she would have done. She would have brought attention to how close we were sitting, and I would have been mortified.
Within seconds, fireworks exploded in my head. It buzzed like bees were trapped inside. Livy had been right. The grass made me feel so damn alive! My nostrils took on a life of their own. Holding my hand outside the sleeping bag, I let the water pool inside my palm. Then I took a big sniff. Each raindrop had its own odor. And its own face!
My cheek was so close to Leon’s, I almost kissed him—in front of everybody. If he’d been facing me, I probably would have. Because every time he moved, brushing his thigh against mine, heat spread from my toes up to my nose.
If this was what Nick calledeuphoria, I had it.
Fifty Years Later
Woodstock 50th Anniversary Celebration
Bethel, New York
Saturday Morning, August 17, 2019
“Wait a minute.Yousmoked weed?” Adelaide’s eyes look like giant blue marbles. I’ve blown her mind.
