“None of us know what to say, either. It’s been, like,so weirdand caused some intense issues in the House.”
I’m not surprised by any of this. Lilith’s performance in the Rush meeting I attended was certainly awkward. But what about the other Alpha Deltadvisors—Sallie and Gwen—surely one of them can break the news? They’ve been on the board longer than I have.
Lizzie looks down at an empty cup on the ground. After squatting to pick it up, she peers at me with a pained expression. “Please think about breaking the news to Mrs. Whitmore. We all feel like you’d be the best one to do it. Since your daughters room together.”
I groan, press my fingers to my temples. I can see her point—but if she only knew. “I guess I’ll do it,” I finally say, and a hot flash instantaneously creeps up my back. I may as well be inside a kiln. I’m that hot. Thousands of people are rushing past and I’ve just agreed to tell Lilith Whitmore she can no longer attend Rush meetings. Now my entire face is wet.
Lizzie doesn’t seem to notice.“Thank you.”She presses a palm to her heart, lets out a small moan. “Thank yousomuch. It’s been, like,soweird.”
Yeah. It may have been weird for you,I’m thinking,but what about me?To think I have to be the one to break this news to Lilith is nothing short of getting a diagnosis of Fish Odor Syndrome. How in the heck does someone ever handle that?
Ten full minutes later, when I finally make it to the gate, I spot Haynes standing with Ellie. Picking up my pace I race over to where they are, and nearly slip on someone’s spilled beer. Haynes reaches out to steady me then guides us into the line. “Where’s Cali?” I ask, looking around at the people near us.
“Annie Laurie’s sick,” Ellie says. “She volunteered to walk her back to the dorm. She’ll be here soon.”
“What a sweet girl,” I say. For some reason Haynes doesn’t comment.
Ellie moves ahead, and as we walk through the security check Haynes whispers in my ear. “I smell a rat.”
“Honestly, honey,” I say, in a soft voice, while the security person checks my bag, “Cali is a really nice girl. You have to trust me on this.”
Haynes, ever the lawyer, turns his head, looks me straight in the eye. “She’s not the one stinking up the lab.”
TWENTY-NINE
MISS PEARL
Sunday evenings in the House are always mellow, as most of the girls are either studying or watching TV. I’m happy for the peace and quiet and it sure feels good to get off my feet. The only thing better would be to have them soaking in a hot tub with sweet-smelling bath salts. But Mama Carla should be walking in this door any minute now, and I have a suspicion she’ll be dog-tired. Driving all that way after a stressful weekend would do anybody in. That’s why I made sure to leave her apartment cleaner than I found it.
I’m trying to readThe Triumph,the Alpha Delta Beta bi-annual magazine—its title based on the ADB motto: Triumph Over Adversity. But with every page I turn I can’t stop thinking about what happened yesterday. It was bad enough that Miss Lilith wasn’t happy about me taking Mama Carla’s place, but add Kadeesha’s stinky attitude into the mix, and, well, I’m still angry. There I was doing a fine job as housemother and Kadeesha tries ruining it for me.
If truth be told, it’s made me wonder why I ever decided to work at a sorority house in the first place. I love our girls, don’t get me wrong, but it’s hard. Hard to be a surrogate mother instead of a real one. The Alpha Delt girls are a daily reminder of the decision I made all those years ago and everynow and then it about chokes the life out of me. How was I to know I would never give birth again? Plenty of unwed mothers put their babies up for adoption hoping it won’t be their only chance at motherhood.
Is my daughter’s adoptive mother good to her? What about her father? How about college? Did she graduate? And what about the man in her life? Is she married now, with children of her own? Once again that voice inside my head gets going. It speaks loud and clear, the way it always does, reminding me of who it was that made the selfish choice in the first place to give up my own flesh and blood. I have nobody to blame but me.
***
At a quarter past ten, I look up from reading and here comes Mama Carla, dragging herself inside with Trudy trotting at her heels. I hop up, help her with her bag, and she and Trudy both plop down in the other chair. No “How are you,” or even a simple, “Hello, Pearl.” The first words out of her mouth are: “Philip left her.”
“Tell me that’s not true, Mama Carla.”
“It’s true.” She lets her head collapse back into the chair and closes her eyes. “I was hoping that wouldn’t be the case. You and I both know how hard it is to go through divorce.”
“Sure do.” I put the magazine down on the coffee table and give her my undivided attention.
“It’s nasty and it keeps the children in a constant state of upheaval.”
“That it does. Any chance of reconciliation?” I ask.
“It doesn’t look like it.”
“I am so sorry, Mama Carla.”
“Somehow she’ll get through it.”
“Yes, she will. We both know how that works.” I yawn, cover my mouth. “Excuse me.”
Mama Carla yawns, too, laughs. “I bet you’re as tired as I am. How did it go here?”
