“Do you feel discriminated against?” he asks. I guess my babies filled him in on what’s been going on around here.
Sarah Mason, who is standing a few feet away, catches my eye. That baby loves me like a second mother. “Not by them, no, sir.”
“Then from whom do you feel discrimination?”
“Sir, sir,” Selma says, placing her hand out to stop him. “You’ll have plenty of time to talk to Miss Pearl. Right now we want her to enjoy her moment.Please.”
She guides me away from the reporter and up the front steps to the long walkway. With each step I take, girls reach out to touch me. I feel the love radiating from their fingers to mine. Can this be happening? Have they actually threatened to quit Alpha Delt? For me? I walk slowly up to the House, the way I’ve done a thousand times, and each girl turns as I pass by. When I step onto the front porch, I happen to glance to my left. Well, there’s Annie Laurie Whitmore. Something told me she wouldn’t be here today. Yet here she is with her hand outstretched, singing with the rest of the sisters.
Mama Carla is waiting for me when I make it inside the door. Right behind her are Mr. Marvelle, Helen, Latonya, Bernie, and Kadeesha. I’m overflowing with emotion; my entire face is covered in tears.
Someone taps me on the shoulder. When I turn around, I see Cali with her arms open wide. I knew there was something special about that sweet little redheaded girl.
SIXTY-EIGHT
CALI
The last twenty-four hours have been the best hours of my life. Yes, we totally surprised Miss Pearl, and she was blown away with the amount of love and support she received from all the Alpha Delts, and how we were willing to walk out of the sorority on her behalf, but equally as good—shock of all shocks—Annie Laurie has made a turnaround. Now she’s one of us.
It must have started the night I confronted her. When Selma called the emergency chapter meeting and Annie Laurie was excused, things really turned around. At first she acted like her normal self—all haughty like she couldn’t have cared less. She would hardly look at Ellie when she left for the meeting. All that had changed by the time Ellie and I got back from the House. When I opened the door to my room and saw her propped up next to Jasmine—on Jasmine’s bed—Ellie and I had to do major double takes. Especially when we noticed her eyes were red and swollen.
“Hello, ladies,” Jasmine said when we walked in. “I’d like for you to meet our new friend, Annie Laurie Whitmore.” I was sure Ellie was thinking the same thing.What the hell is going on around here?
Annie Laurie slid off the bed, fresh tears in her eyes, and slunk over to us. She hung her head and wrung her hands before muttering, “I nevermeant to be so ugly to y’all. Especially you, Cali. I’m sure y’all hate my guts.” She couldn’t meet our eyes. Instead she looked back at Jasmine for help.
Despite the way Annie Laurie had treated her since we moved in, Jasmine came to her rescue. She crawled right off the bed and wrapped her arm snugly around Annie Laurie’s shoulder. “Our friend here has been embarrassed about her mother for a long time, but she hasn’t wanted to admit it. She’s not sure what to do about it, either.” They looked at each other like total BFFs before Jasmine added, “Now she’s embarrassed to ever show her face at y’all’s sorority house again.”
The way Annie Laurie struggled to lift her chin was painful to watch, but she finally made eye contact with us. Fresh tears had flooded her eyes. “It was awful being here, knowing all my sorority sisters were meeting at the House… because of something my mom did. This time she’s gone too far. I don’t know everything she said to Miss Pearl, but I don’t have to. I know my mother.”
Tucking her hair behind her ears, she gazed at us with an emotion I know all too well—shame. She used her fingers to twist her bottom lip out of shape, as if she wasn’t sure how much more to confess. “She wasn’t like that when I was little. Well, if she was I never noticed it. I’ve been thinking about it nonstop. Ever since that night I got mad at y’all for going against her. She has a problem, y’all. So does my dad.” She turned to Ellie and shrugged. “They aren’t like your parents.”
Although she was at a loss for words, Ellie still gave her an understanding nod.
Our new friend, as Jasmine called her, sniffled several times from all the crying she’d been doing, so I took a tissue from my desk and handed it to her. Once I did, a look of conviction replaced the apprehension she’d shown moments earlier. “They are racists. There’s no way around it. And my mom is rude to people who don’t come from wealthy backgrounds. She thinks she’s better than they are. Honestly, for a while I thought that, too. But we’re not. And my mom… She is a total embarrassment.”
I wanted to make sure I said the right thing. First I glanced at Jasmine, who responded with a slight nod, as if to say:Go ahead. It’s okay.So I took Annie Laurie by the hand. “I get embarrassment. I get it in a big way. Most of my life has been spent embarrassed by my mom.” She already knew the basicsfrom her mother’s nosy digging into my past—I was sure of it—so there was no need to go into more gory details. But that was the icebreaker. She reached out to hug me, and when she did something inside of me cracked wide open and I cried, too. As mad as I am at my mom, I actually felt sorry for her in that moment. We all stayed up till two in the morning letting Annie Laurie talk about her mom. She is furious. When or if that will change is anyone’s guess.
Ever since that night, Annie Laurie has been a real friend. She loaned me her totally awesome short black dress to wear to Miss Pearl’s going-away party. Once she saw the way it looked on me she even said I could have it. I know people don’t usually flip a 180 that fast, but I think Annie Laurie has been in more pain over her mother than she’s ever let on. Kind of like me.
The night we all stayed up late made me realize we all have issues we’d rather not face. Everyone has her share of rotten fruit. Even Annie Laurie, a girl with all the money and all the looks in the world, is totally embarrassed by her mother. And she’s been hiding that secret—only God knows how long. Granted, she hasn’t handled it very well, but have I?
Ellie’s grandmother drives her stark raving crazy and Jasmine’s older brother, I learned a few nights later when we stayed up talking till four in the morning, is HIV positive. The gossipmongers in Martin have uncovered dirt on Bailey. Her father is rumored to have embezzled money from his company and may go to jail. Sweet Tara, at the end of our hall, has an alcoholic father. When I think about throwing everyone’s dirty secrets and problems into a pile, maybe I’ll still pick mine. I have the greatest grandparents who ever lived and they love me deeply. God gave me a brain that ensures I never have to worry about my grades. Who knows? Perhaps I inherited it from the dad I never knew.
I have the power to be anyone. Shame over my past doesn’t have to dictate who I am or, more importantly, who I’ll become. I, California Ann Watkins, from itty-bitty Blue Mountain, Mississippi, have the power to be governor of our beautiful Magnolia State, even if I am five foot two.
Thinking like this, I have to admit, is a big relief. But our pressing dilemma, the one constricting my heart, is still unresolved. Now that we’ve taken a stand and shown we’re willing to walk out of our sorority, will Miss Pearl be able to return as House Director of Alpha Delta Beta? Or will Lilith Whitmore have the final word?
SIXTY-NINE
WILDA
Four weeks later
I decided to temporarily disconnect our home phone and change my cell phone number. Once the protest story broke on the national news, I became a celebrity. It seemed like every person I’d ever known—at least those who knew I was an Ole Miss Alpha Delt—“blew me up,” as Ellie would say, dying for the inside scoop.
But as an Alpha Delta Omega, I’m sworn to secrecy. I can’t publicize our dirty laundry, no matter how I feel about Lilith Whitmore. I’m terrible at telling people no, so the only way to handle it was to go off-grid. I may have come a long way in the last few weeks, but I’m still in the “work in progress” category.
The day after the protest, an emergency House Corp Board meeting was called. Something had to be done, and it had to be done fast. All but four of our girls were willing to walk out of the sorority on Miss Pearl’s behalf. The eight others, who had also voted no in the chapter meeting, ended up changing their minds and supporting Miss Pearl. We had to make a decision about the college degree requirement and offer Miss Pearl the job—or not.
