“The world you and I grew up in says I shouldn’t have a job like this. But things are changing. Young people today don’t buy that any longer. This is your chance to make a difference in Mississippi and show folks all over our state that a Caucasian woman from an old Natchez family is willing to lead her sorority down a new and better path.”
She has not interrupted me one time. Not only is my face smiling, but my heart is, too. I’m certain that everything I’ve said to her has had an impact, and that she might be willing to pull herself out of darkness and step into the light.
But the expression on that lady’s face stays the same. She’s not budging.
On second thought, I don’t believe one word I’ve said has penetrated her brain, much less her heart. All my words must have soared right over her froufrou Barbie head and smashed into smithereens on the composite behind her.
Looks like I’ve got another choice. What will it be like if I choose to stay in my job as housekeeper? After the way this woman has insulted me? Aunt Fee was exactly right. I must find another job. As much as I love these girls, I don’t want to work here with a ball and chain of resentment hanging from my heart. My time with Alpha Delt has come to an end.
I take a few steps toward the door, then turn back around. “Twenty-five years is a long time to work somewhere. It won’t be easy to start over, but you’ve left me with no choice.”
After looking at me like I’m crazy, she says, “You’re quitting? Because you can’t have the promotion?”
I shake my head slowly. “And resent working here? No thank you. I best be moving on.”
“Okay. You win.”
My breath catches. “Wha… what?”
“You can have a raise. How’s does seventy-five cents more an hour sound?” By the switch in her tone, it’s evident. She thinks she’s saved the day.
I just look at her. Then I turn, put my hand on the doorknob.
“Fine. I’ll give you a dollar extra per hour,” she says to the back of my head.
I make an about-face, take a few steps toward her. “You could offer me ahundredmore dollars an hour and I wouldn’t stay. This is about my dignity, not my paycheck.”
“Don’t be silly. It’s… I don’t know exactly what it amounts to, but I’m offering you a big raise.”
“Actually, it’s right around twelve hundred dollars by the time I pay taxes and collect unemployment all summer.”
Her mouth falls open. Seems she’s surprised I can calculate her offer in my head. “Suit yourself.”
I clasp my hands together, shake my head from side to side. “I feel sorry for you, Miss Lilith, you know that?”
Another of her big plastic grins spreads clear across her face. “Why’s that?”
“You’re so worried about how something looks and keeping things the way they’ve always been, you don’t even know I’m the best, most qualified person for this job. You go on and hire another white lady. She’ll have a college degree and a good sense of how things are supposed to be run around here. But there’s one thing she won’t be able to do. And that’s show our girls how to have relationships with people of color. I love every one of them, and I care about helping them to become the best young women they can be. Kind, compassionate, and color-blind.”
“The girls have their own mothers for that. But they do need a top-notch housekeeper like yourself to keep this house looking like the showplace it was built to be. The Alpha Delts take great pride in their sorority house. That’s the reason your job is so important.”
Sometimes you need to know when to close the window. I look around the room—every wall full of composites from years past, a few from when I first started at Alpha Delt. I can only hope and pray that as far back as twenty-five years, I may have made a difference in the girls’ hearts.
My eyes travel around the room one last time, then I open and close the door softly behind me. I head straight up to my closet, grab my pocketbook, and hurry out the side door.
SIXTY-TWO
CALI
I’m in the study lounge with several of my pledge sisters, in between classes, when I see Miss Pearl rush out the side door. She’s got her purse over her shoulder and I can tell by her face something’s wrong. I shove my math book aside and grab my coat.
Becca, who is right across from me reading her biology book, looks up. “Where you going?”
“I just thought of something I forgot to do,” I whisper. “I’ll be back.” I don’t give her another opportunity to ask any more questions. I hurry out of the lounge.
Then I run through the side door. After looking both ways down Sorority Row I spot Miss Pearl, already two hundred feet down, walking briskly in the direction of the Union. I rush down the front steps and onto the street. “Miss Pearl,” I holler. She doesn’t turn around. Now I’m running behind and calling her name again.“Miss Pearl!”
She stops, looks over her shoulder.
