We stare into each other’s eyes. There’s a lifetime there. We’ve been together since we were eighteen, long enough to teach each other how to laugh at life, how to breathe through pain. We’ve certainly been together long enoughto know the importance of truth in marriage. Dear God in heaven, what have I done?
“I can’t imagine how you must feel right now,” I say softly.
“Pretty rotten.” When he touches the side of his face I catch a glimpse of his gold wedding ring, scratched and dulled with age.
“I don’t know how to begin to tell you how sorry I am.”
“And I can’t begin to tell you what this feels like. You lied to me, Wilda.”
I hang my head. “And I can’t pretend to know. You’ve never done it to me. At least not that I know of.”
He rolls his eyes. “To have your mother, of all people, be the one to let the cat out of the bag, was…” He looks off, searching for the right word. “Emasculating. I don’t know which was worse. The lie or the messenger.”
I exhale a long stream of air at the mere thought of what that must have felt like. “I wouldn’t blame you if you decided to leave me. For what it’s worth, I’m deeply, deeply sorry.”
His focus is on my face. But he has no words.
“I swear to you on our children’s lives I will work every day for the next ten years if I have to and pay back Mama every red cent.”
“Wilda. It’s not about the money. It’s the lie. I want Ellie to have a dorm room she’s proud of as much as you do. Of course, I’d never have spent that much, but to think you’d go behind my back and lie about it is gut punching. Besides, I’ve never owed your mother adime,” he says angrily.
“I’d give anything for a redo. I knew it was wrong the moment I did it, Haynes, but for some reason I couldn’t stop myself. I got wrapped up in the whole stupid dorm-room craze.”
He shakes his head, closes his eyes. Then opens them slowly. “Why?”
“I’ve asked myself that question a thousand times. When Lilith’s dorm-room designer called me last June, I was caught completely off guard. You remember her… Rhonda Taylor?”
“That chick was adorm-room designer? Seriously?”
I nod.
“I thought Lilith hired— I don’t know what I thought.” His nose flares. “Go on.”
“I had no idea Lilith had hired her till she called and asked me for a down payment. I know I should have stopped the whole thing right then, but it waslike a force from Pluto swooped in and took over the real me. I mean, I heard myself agreeing to it, but I knew I shouldn’t. Then when Mama offered to pay for it and sounded so convincing, like it was good for Ellie to be rooming with Annie Laurie, I don’t know. I thought maybe she was right.”
“You took your mother’s advice over mine?”
“No… I guess.” With my head hung again I feel tears stinging the backs of my eyes. But I don’t want to cry because this is my fault. I don’t want Haynes to think I’m looking for sympathy. I’m not. “Of all people to have hurt. You’re the person I love most in the world. I am so ashamed.”
“It’s certainly not Rhonda Taylor’s fault,” he says. “If she can earn a living that way, God bless her. It just shouldn’t have been from us.”
“I know that now.”
“Can you please tell me what it is about Lilith Whitmore you find even remotely attractive?”
“Nothing. Absolutely nothing.” I’m desperate to squeeze back the tears so I tighten my face and swallow hard.
“What’s changed? Because you certainly thought she was the bomb a few weeks ago.”
“I don’t know where to begin, but staying at her condo this week was not only an eye-opener, it changed how I feel about a lot of things.”
He folds his arms outside the covers. “Like what?”
“For starters, Lilith used me. She never wanted to be my friend. It was her master plan all along to not only have our girls room together, but to get me on the Advisory Board so she could ensure that Annie Laurie would get an Alpha Delt bid.”
“I’m not following you.”
“Evidently, Annie Laurie had no friends in high school. All the top sororities cut her a few days into Rush. The only reason the Alpha Delts kept her is because she’s a triple legacy and Lilith is the House Corp President. But after not one active member voted for her, we had no choice but to cut her after Sisterhood.”
