He was hot, and for the first time in her whole life, she felt free to do something about thinking a man was hot. That hadn’t been the wayit was with her and David. She’d found him attractive, yes, but she’d been young and innocent by design.
She was neither of those things now and more interested in Declan because of it.
Madison, who was a child, and it wasn’t like Soraya could actually take serious advice from her, but she’d said mistakes were just mistakes.
He would be a glorious mistake.
“Hi,” she said, because she was very aware she was standing there staring like a creeper. His blue eyes meeting hers made her feel like she was about to go up in flames.
What would happen if she moved toward him?
Are you insane? At least go out to dinner with him. You’re going to go from Purity Culture Princess to dragging a man you barely know to bed?
When she put it like that, it didn’t sound as crazy as she’d hoped it would. It sounded like maybe it was a Band-Aid that needed to be ripped off.
“Good morning,” he said. “I’m just grabbing some coffee before work. I try to open the store in time to catch the rush of the after-church crowd.”
“Ah. I’m the church crowd.” Seemed like an ironic thing to call herself given the riot of illicit images in her head.
He looked at her, a very similar look to the one he had given her when she’d mentioned she had teenagers. Like she was defying his expectations, and she sort of liked that too. She was used to being in a group full of people who knew her. Who knew exactly what to expect from her, and who disapproved when she didn’t do those things.
She had never, not once, felt like an enigma.
She sort of did right now.
“I hope you have a nice morning,” he said.
She let out a breath, her face hot. “Me too.”
She turned away from him and stuffed her hands into her coat pocket as she walked down the narrow stairs and toward her car. She felt awkward because she should have said she hoped he had a goodmorning, but she’d been thinking about her own nerves and that had just come out.
He was just so gorgeous. He made her want to jump into his arms, kiss him, or more. To embrace spontaneity in a way she never had.
That had felt ... dangerous and fun and totally not like her. Even though she hadn’t actually done anything.
Her life had been fixed for so long. Her path set. Her ideas of who she was, what she was capable of, what she would let herself do and what she wouldn’t.
What had been a narrow path was now a wide-open field.
It was both terrifying and exhilarating.
But for now, she was going to church and not thinking about the wild impulse she’d had.
She took the short drive to the church, which was on the outskirts of town, a large building with a beautifully manicured facility. She had always loved the church grounds, but it struck her as being slightly unsettling now. Because it was so like the people. Perfectly manicured. Always with everything in place. Yet it concealed so much.
The emphasis on appearances wasn’t doing anyone any favors. Not when the core was rotting.
She got out of the car and shut the door firmly behind her, taking a fortifying breath as she began to walk toward the main entrance to the sanctuary.
She was only about five minutes early, so there were very few people outside, but she saw him out of the corner of her eye. Saw him before he called her name.
“Soraya.”
She looked over at David and felt like she was seeing him for the first time. The anger on his face was unguarded, naked. But there was something else along with that. Like he was looking at a lower life-form. Like she had no right to meet his gaze.
She had never realized before that her husband truly saw her as someone inferior to him. But she could see it now, with all his outrage written there plainly.
“I stopped at the house on the way here. How dare you?” he asked, the question low and angry.
