He lifted his head, and the streetlight caught his angles, just like it would have done on a well-lit set, making him look even more compelling. Even more beautiful. “Do you really not understand?”
She shook her head, her chest tight, her whole body shaking now. “I really don’t. This is so much. It’s a lot.”
“Iwantyou.” The words were rough, fractured. As far removed from the actor version of him as it was possible to be. As far removed from her husband’s friend and business partner as it was possible to be.
This was someone else. Someone she felt like she was seeing, really seeing, for the first time.
Oh. For some reason, it utterly shocked her now. Because it came from nowhere, came when she wasn’t expecting it. “So is this ...? Are you ...? Are youpayingme for ... for sex, because I would’ve slept with you for free.”
The words came out all jumbled up, broken, embarrassed and excited and angry all at once.
“What?Hell no. I’m not paying for sex. I’m not ... I’m not paying you to ... I did this wrong. I shouldn’t have said that to you. I shouldn’t have told you that I was attracted to you.”
“You absolutely should’ve told me that. Because that’s genuinely the best ... nicest? I don’t know, it’s notnice, but ...”Get it together, Daisy.“I’m not ... You’re Zach Woods. I’m just Daisy McNamara from Hemlock. I am a deeply average mother of three who doesn’t have abs or any idea what the latest tips and tricks in sex are ... I’m not your usual type.”
“What do you know about my type?”
“Only what I’ve read on the internet.”
He lifted a brow. “Do you read gossip about me?”
“Sometimes.” She couldn’t lie. Not now. Actually, she could have, but it would have seemed really stupid.
“I’m sorry. I screwed this up. One thing I decided recently, though, was that when you want your business partner’s wife, there’s never really arighttime. Ever since he left you, I’ve been waiting. For therightmoment. But there’s not a right moment.”
“You . . . you want me.”
“I did say that.” His gaze was steady. Unwavering. It made her stomach feel hollow.
“I know you did, but it ... How is it thatyoufeel like you’re messing this up? I haven’t been with anyone other than Jonathan ever, and I’m just me.”
He moved closer to her then, and she could smell him. Which sounded weird, but he smelled amazing. “Let me show you.”
She didn’t really care about right and wrong. Didn’t care if it was mixed up and messed up, or that there might be some potential consequence for it down the road.
She’d been everything for everyone else. She’d done everything for everyone else. This felt like something for her. It felt like something good and real and fun.
That horrible feeling she’d had the last time she saw Jonathan. The feeling of longing, of wanting to go home again knowing she never could, was unbearable.
Home didn’t exist anymore. Maybe it never had.
She wanted that feeling to go away. She wanted to feel like Daisy, herself, whoever that was. She needed to make a home with herself. That started by making choices that had nothing to do with anyone buther.
She’d been with Jonathan since she was sixteen, so it was inevitable that she didn’t quite know who she was standing on her own. Maybe sleeping with someone else wasn’t the answer to that.
But what about her body?Hersexuality? What about her being desired not because she’d been there all along, not because she was a convenient, warm body? Not because of what she could do for someone, but just because she was wanted?
Maybe Zach only wanted her because she had been off-limits. Eventhatmade her feel good. Even that made her feel like there was something sexy and exciting and illicit about her. She’d never felt like that in her life.
Not since the first time she’d had sex. Seventeen and trembling with delight and the fear of being caught.
It felt like that now, except more. There was a tangle of emotions inside her. She had the ridiculous inclination to tell Zach that she couldn’t offer him anything more than a night. That everything was too complicated. That he shouldn’t go getting his feelings hurt by her.
It was the silliest thing, because he was Zach Woods. He was sexy and singular, and famous, and could certainly have any woman he wanted. She didn’t need to give him disclaimers, she assumed.
She just needed to decide whether or not she wanted this. It wasn’t for the greater good; it wasn’t for Jonathan; it wasn’t for her kids, her mother, her grandmother. It wasn’t for anyone.
It was hard to make herself move forward. Hard to make herself take the step. But then ... he did it. He closed the distance between them. He lowered his head and kissed her.
