“Because you’re an expert on marriage, Sam? You’ve never even let a woman have a toothbrush at your house.”
“I barely had time to have a toothbrush at the houses I lived in when I was a kid. I find that one begets the other.”
She tilted her head and stared him down. “I was in the same situation. I got married.”
He gazed back at her. “Yeah. Well. You always wanted that.”
She felt scalded again. “Do you think you’re better than me because you didn’t want stability? You didn’t want a normal life?”
“Is that what you wanted? Stability? I thought you wanted love.”
“I do. I did. But I mean ... I wanted to be normal. Why is that so hard to understand?”
“It’s not. I guess I just figured it was a little bit late for normal.”
“You’re normal,” she said.
Except even as she said that, it felt like such a wan, insipid descriptor for him. He wassomethingall right. He was big and handsome. Protective. He was rough, and obnoxious. And loyal down to his core. So whatever his issues were with romantic relationships, they didn’t extend to friendship.
“I know you wanted to be normal. I’ve always known that,” he added as he took a french fry out of the basket in front of him. “I certainly never wanted to get in the way of that.”
“How could you ever get in the way of that?”
He looked at her for a little longer than was strictly necessary. She sat there and did her best not to turn that over. Not too many times, anyway.
“He thinks that I upset you,” Sam said.
“I know he does. But he just ... He’s protective.”
“About your own past? Because that’s stupid.”
Okay. He had a point about that. It seemed silly that Ben would try to protect her from things she’d experienced. But it was true that sometimes she went out with Sam, and they would start trading stories about foster life, and she would come home broody.
Ben just didn’t like that.
He doesn’t accept that part of you.
Well, no, he didn’t. Why should he? It was sad, and it wasn’t good the way that she had been treated. So there was no accepting it. Not really.
She sure didn’t accept it.
It was shit.
“Sorry, you were talking to him while he’s gone?”
“Yes.” She wasn’t going to tell him about Ben’s request she not call anymore. “He’s been sending me pictures. It’s really not like we’re having a conflict. That’s not what it’s about.”
“Ah. I get it. So he’s in some big tour group?”
“Yes.”
“Are there group photos somewhere?”
“I don’t know. I just look at what he’s sending me.”
“Interesting. I would want to know who my husband was traveling with.”
“If you had a husband, then you could worry about that.”
