If this moment was a reminder of anything, it was that life was mean and took unexpected turns off the road.
You couldn’t keep putting the deep, important things off until a tomorrow you might not have.
“Yes. Let’s have lunch.”
Too late, Nora realized that might mean talking about her personal life. Which might mean bringing up the subject of Ben and the separation.
Would that be so bad?
Yes, it felt potentially fatal, actually.
Proving Ben’s point.
Wasn’t that what he’d said? That she clung to the past in unhealthy ways and resisted healing and kept her walls up?
But what was the alternative?
She looked back at Alexandra. That was the alternative. Being so vulnerable, caring so much, that when someone left you, all the pieces of yourself fell away.
Nora was sad about the separation, but she was okay. She also had every confidence they’d get back together. They’d made vows. They were a team, a partnership. Friends. He needed to go and deal with his issues, which was fine. She was strong enough to let him go away and do what he needed to do.Theywere strong enough.
“I hope you ...” she started to say to Alexandra, but the words died on her lips. “The community might fall apart without you,” she said instead. “I mean, who’s going to organize the Christmas parade? The tree lighting. Community trick or treat. The Arts Club won’t be able to function without you. We’ll all be lost without you.” Nora cleared her throat. “Okay. I’m ready.”
Daisy nodded wordlessly, her lips closed in a way that suggested she might cry if she tried to speak. They walked out of the room and down the hall.
It was quiet in the elevator, and Nora felt like she didn’t know what to say. She looked down at her purse. Ben had given this purse to her for Christmas just last year.
The perfect purse. Black with the cycles of the moon embroidered on it in gold. It went with everything she owned, and it felt likeher, and of course he’d known that.
Had he found the purse in a cute little boutique, bought it, and carried it back to his car thinking,In eight months, I’ll tell her I haven’t been happy for years?
That would be insane.
Yet now she was stuck on it, her hand on the purse feeling like it was on fire. Feeling like Ben was right about her.
No.
When the elevator doors opened, she could breathe again.
She wasn’t the worst.
She did have friends.
They walked through the lobby area and past the gift shop, which was when she caught a glimpse of her.
Soraya Nichols.
SunflowerSoraya.
She had been one of the most obnoxious girls in high school. Every so often Nora hate-scrolled Soraya’s Facebook feed, just to check and see if she was still deserving of Nora’s rage. She was.
She would look at photos of Soraya’s sparkling white kitchen, photos of her wearing dresses that seemed like they belonged on a prairie somewhere as she made glorious loaves of sourdough, her blond hair still up in a big messy bun like she was fifteen years old, or down in bouncy Instagram curls.Happy, happy. So blessed so blessed. Hashtag boy mom.
She made Nora’s teeth ache.
But right now Soraya was not standing in her kitchen looking thinner, prettier, and better than Nora. She was currently standing in front of a shelf of crystal angels crying. Not pretty crying. Ugly crying. Her shoulders were shaking, and people were just walking by her. It was a hospital.
Given that, it wasn’t weird that Soraya was crying. It made it seem reasonable to walk by her.
