“I’m in love with Sam. Thank you for the time apart, which helped me finally see that.”
“Oh, I knew it. I knew you were screwing him behind my back.”
“I wasn’t, actually. If I were sleeping with him, I would’ve married him in the first place, Ben.” She took a deep breath. “The one thing I’ll say is that I’m sorry. I’m sorry, and I’m not trying to be hurtful when Itell you this, but ... you didn’t have all of me. And I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry that the way I grew up made it hard for me to recognize that. I’m sorry that it made it so I married you when I shouldn’t have. I swear I didn’t do it on purpose. I didn’t know at the time I wasn’t giving you everything.”
“My mom said you weren’t good enough for me. She was right. She was right. You’re just trailer trash. You can’t help yourself. Water seeks its own level.”
What he was saying was deeply messed up. Deeply hurtful. At least, the way he meant it. But the truth was, he was right, even if he wasn’t right in the way he meant to be.
For her, it had to be Sam. For her, it had to be a man who truly understood her. Who saw her. It had been what she was running from. Because she hadn’t wanted that. She had wanted to paste over it, to make herself into something new. She had thought she could outrun her trauma and not have to deal with it. Not have to process it. But the chickens were always going to come home to roost, and there was no running away from what had happened. From the pain she experienced in her life. She understood that now.
“You were never good enough for me,” she said. “You never actually loved me. You love the woman I dressed up as, and some of that is my own fault. But you were never strong enough to handle me. To take on everything I went through. Everything I am. Sam is. I had to get good enough for him. I had to get strong enough for him. But I’m there now. I think the way you handled ending our marriage was terrible. I deserved better. But I’m glad that it’s over. I’ve never been happier.”
With that, she walked out of the house for the last time. The house that had a playroom devoted to her and nothing more. That house that had never, ever felt like hers.
It was like finally closing the door on something she’d needed to get rid of for a very long time.
Their first night together in Sam’s house, which was now their house, Sam looked up at her over dinner. “So, when are you going to write your book, Nora?”
Because Sam actually knew. Knew her. Knew it was one of the things she’d been holding herself back from all this time.
“Maybe it’s time.”
“Do you have an idea?”
“Yes, I do. I think I want to write a book about women finally figuring out who they are. Finding their magic.”
“It’ll be a bestseller.”
“I love you,” she said.
“I love you too.”
And when he said that, she knew he meant he loved all of her. Because he was the only person who had ever known her like that.
To realize she’d had it all this time wasn’t sad. It was wonderful. She had spent her life being so cynical. Believing in very little.
Now she believed in everything.
Her own magic most of all.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Nora
The best revenge is living well. The best living is making sure those around you live well too.
—Rules for Witches
The dinner could not have been more beautiful. They staged it in the park across the street from the apothecary. Long tables were set out on the wide green lawn, with bright, cheery sunflowers all over the tables, and orange and yellow candles set between them. Soraya had indeed made the most beautiful cakes for the event, and there was other food catered by local female-owned businesses. Nora, Soraya, and Daisy were all dressed in white dresses, glitter on their cheeks, which Nora had pronounced deeply uncool, and Daisy and Soraya had paid no attention to whatsoever.
Soraya had also supplied them with summery witch hats. Pointed and dramatic, but white with pink flowers.
“For cute adventures!” she’d said.
“And what would the leaders of your new church have to say?” Nora asked, looking in the mirror in the shop one final time before they stepped outside with baskets full of the last little bit they needed to bring over to the feast.
“Half of them are coming,” she said cheerfully.
