They got into the car, Levi in the front, Jaden in the back, his knees folded up against his chest. They were both so tall. But when she looked at them, she still saw them as little boys, and being separated from them like she had been was so painful. Tonight had been terrible. But they were with her.
“You should have seen him,” Levi said. “He was unhinged. Yelling at Dad about taking his wife and humiliating him and ...” There was a short pause. “Dad made us get purity rings.”
Soraya couldn’t help it. She laughed. She laughed and laughed until tears were streaming down her face. Until she was just crying, clutching the steering wheel, the streetlights going blurry until they were like stars.
She slowed the car and eased into the space she used across from the apothecary.
“I know,” she said, wiping the tears away. “Oh. I know, it’s all so absurd. I’m sorry.” She hiccupped. “I’m so sorry about all of this.”
They went upstairs to the apartment, and she made beds for them, then sat in her own, unable to sleep for a long time.
She felt so lost.
She’d known who she was once. What she believed. What she wanted. She’d known how the whole world worked, and she could see that now for what it was. That arrogance that was actually masking fear. Because if everything was black and white, you never had to question anything.
Now she questioned everything, and she constantly felt like she was about to slip and fall.
Tonight, she had.
She felt like she’d done the wrong thing. Had gotten lost in a quest for vengeance and potentially caused serious harm.
But she didn’t like what she’d said to Nora and Daisy.
Didn’t like the idea of leaving all of it behind.
Partly because she couldn’t go back to who she’d been before.
Even standing there with David in front of the burning house, that was clear.
She couldn’t go back.
But she didn’t know how to go forward.
For now, her boys were sleeping down the hall from her. Maybe that had to be enough. Maybe there couldn’t be anything else.
She picked up her phone and opened the text chat for Declan.
I’m sorry. I can’t do dinner.
There. It was done. Over. She was ending it.
Pulling herself back from the edge.
She had to.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Nora
The sun will rise. The tide will flow. Seasons change. If one thing is sure, nothing stays the same.
—Rules for Witches
She felt gritty and nearly demolished by the time she left the site of the fire. Soraya had completely melted down, and who could blame her? Her kids had been in danger, the entire church community was now going to be decimated, and even though Nora didn’t personally care about that, she ... she understood Soraya better now. She respected that it was genuine for her. That even if that community had treated Soraya badly, she cared about them. Nora also knew how complicated it was when your husband was a cheating dickbag but also still your husband.
Though she could genuinely say that looking at Ben in the hospital bed, she hadn’t felt bad. Yeah, the spell was out of control. Building. But it was karma. She hadn’t put him up on that mountain. He had put himself there.
Don’t start shit, and there won’t be shit.
