“Soraya, you’re my kitchen witch. You’re the one who can make these magical.”
A witch.
She’d been doing a lot of research on this, and she knew there were many people who considered themselves adherents to their faith while being witches. Witches didn’t have to have gods associated with the craft. They could worship whatever god they wanted, or none at all.
It made her feel more comfortable with the label. Aggie, of course, only meant it with the utmost kindness.
“These are all the new teas we have, and here are some of the activators for different spells. We have teas for positivity: chamomile, honey, and lemon. Healing tea: black tea, vanilla, cinnamon, and honey.” She waved her hand over three other bins. “There are rosemary and rosehips, and elderberries are other good additives. Now, the most common teas we get asked for here promote women’s sexuality.”
If it had been Nora, Soraya might have thought Aggie was testing her. Trying to see if she could get a reaction out of her.
“Let’s practice making a cup.”
“Are you going to drink it?” Soraya asked.
Aggie looked at her, her eyes sparkling as she pushed the lever on her electric kettle and started the water warming. “Do you think that’s amusing because I’m a crone?”
“Not at all!” Soraya said, feeling instantly awful. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just didn’t realize you were ... or that you had ...”
“It isn’t for me. I don’t need it.” Aggie smiled mischievously. “You, on the other hand ...”
It was like Aggie could read her mind. Like she knew about the date and all of Soraya’s associated worries and fears and desires.
“I’m tired of men,” she lied.
“Who said it had to be men?”
“I’m not into women.” She frowned. “I don’t think.”
“You know you can just have sexuality all on your own. It doesn’t have to be for anyone else. You can feel beautiful, you can feel desire, and you can let yourself express that desire just for you, just with you.”
Soraya blinked. “Well, isn’t that ... I know it’s not evil or anything, Idoknow that. But it just seems like if you don’t have someone with you ...”
“It’s not wrong to feel good.”
That was revelatory in a way she felt it shouldn’t be at thirty-five.
“Follow my instructions.” Aggie took her electric kettle and poured steaming water into a teapot. “Rose, hibiscus, and calendula.”
Soraya took a pinch of each and added them to the pot.
“Red clover, elderberries, cinnamon, lemon balm.”
Soraya added those slowly to the steaming water.
“Then add black tea leaves and a bit of dried apple.”
She did, and put the lid on the teapot.
“Now we let it steep.” Aggie looked at her. “It’s rare I’ve ever met a woman so afraid of her own power, her own body, her own feelings.Soraya, what you want matters. God did not create you with all this love, creativity, and magic to hide it forever. Tell me, is the shame you feel from a divine source or from the people around you?”
Soraya glanced down. “It’s from the people around me.”
“They needed you to feel fear and shame, to be sure you would ignore the beating of your own heart, the burning of your own conscience. You were taught to ignore it, and told you had to fall in line. Isn’t it written in your Bible that God would often raise someone up to speak against the ones in power? Didn’t Deborah speak prophecy and lead her people to victory? Wasn’t it up to Jael to kill her enemy? Women must stand in their power, in their conviction, just as much as any man. So should you, as much as any leader in any church. Those around you who are styled as leaders can be wrong.”
Soraya took a breath. “I am afraid. I was always told that I needed a leader. That women were the weaker ones. I went from my father being my leader to my husband, and I’ve never been my own.”
“You are your own already. You just need to embrace it.”
