A hand on my wrist stops me before I can escape him.
“It's not stupid.” He argues, making me pause. “I just... don't know if I can do that.”
I stare at him a beat, waiting for him to elaborate further.
He had no problem fucking methoroughlyfor months, and now he doesn’t know if he can?
Is he… afraid of me? Has he never been with a conscious woman before?
No, surely he has. I mean, one look at him and it’s clear that women probably fall at his feet for the chance to suck his dick.
He just has that kind of face… and body.
When he doesn't elaborate, I decide I'll have to pull it out of him.
“What do you mean, you don't know if youcan?”
He sighs, cocking his head as he thinks through whatever is holding him back.
“I mean, I don't know if it will be the same. I don't know if I'll be able to…maintain controlif you're awake.” His eyes glance me over thoroughly, lingering. “Iwantto. God, I want to. But I don't know.”
I don't know what he means aboutmaintaining control. Does he think I'll try to dominate him? That's not my style. I can initiate because no man has ever turned me down before, but I don’t like to be in control. I like to be fucked, not do the fucking. Maybe I shouldwantcontrol since I never got to have it, but the heart wants what it wants, and my fucked-up brain craves whatever fucked-up shit it craves.
“I mean, isn't this what you got me for?” I challenge, laughing a little as I finally ask the uncomfortable thing I haven’t addressed yet. “To be a sex slave?”
It’s not like Iwantto be a fucking sex slave for anybody, but I already have been for months. So why is he being so weird about it now?
Cal opens his mouth like he's going to argue that point, but his mouth closes and he looks me over from afar.
He’s quiet as he considers his response for that, and then he shakes his head.
“I didn't get you to be asex slave.” He sounds so offended by the idea that I almost laugh.
Almost.
I don't believe him for a second, given the fact that he kept me unconscious for months, apparently just so that he could fuck me.
I was soreeverywherewhen I woke up, especially between my legs. I know he madeverygood use of me, so it concerns me that he doesn't want to now that I'm awake. Does he have some weird kind of kink? Maybe he's into necro and wanted to simulate fucking a corpse? I’m open to discussing kinks… I’ve never experimented much past a little back door play with one of my ex-boyfriends, who couldn’t get over his insane homophobia enough to commit to sticking his dick in.
I can play dead if that’s what does it for him… sometimes I feel like I’m half there anyway.
“Oh…” I clear my throat, deciding not to ask him what his intentions were then.
“I was going to kill you.” He blurts out suddenly, shocking me into silence.
My heart skips a beat or two as it seems to wonder whether we're in imminent danger, but Cal doesn't move for me. He bites his lip instead, and it's such an out-of-place gesture on a confident, gorgeous man like him that I almost laugh.
No, notalmost.
I do.
Isnort.
“Is this a joke?”
It has to be.
If he wanted to kill me, he would have done it by now.
