I guess since I'm leveling with him, I may as well level with him all the way. “It's pretty easy, actually. I did it twice. You just pick which one you want, and they send them right to your door.”
“Cal!” He bristles. “Where did she come from?”
“The internet.” I shrug. “Look, it's fine. I've had her for months, and it's kept me from needing to kill. The power I have over her like this... it's enough. It's better than killing.”
It takes a minute for his eyes to narrow on me. He's been trying to contend with everything I've just revealed, but he latches onto the one thing I didn't directly admit.
“Better than killing?”
“Yeah.” I let out a low breath. “Don't get me wrong, killing is still very much something I crave... something my monster craves. But having my little doll has been so much better than killing.”
Hemassages his temples like I'm the one givinghima headache. I'm not sure what's so hard for him to understand about the scenario.
When I feel stabby, I come bury myself inside my little doll, and she heals me. She's fucking magical.
“You said you've ordered themtwice. What happened to the other one?”
I heft a sigh.
“I wanted it to last. But I fucked her and then took her for a bath, and she slipped under the water…”
“She drowned?”
“Yeah…” I frown.
“You didn't... kill her?”
“I mean... no?” I guess, technically, I didn't. I held her under the water a little too long, possessed with how extraordinary it felt. In hindsight, it was nothing like how things are with my little doll. But I didn't murder her. Dex seems to agree. “In a court of law, that's probably manslaughter at the most.”
I did stab her, though, and fucked her dying body as she bled to death. I think an autopsy would have to determine which of those two things was the final blow.
I won’t mention that part.
“Okay.” He breathes an audible sigh of relief, and I almost feel bad about how stressed he seems to be. “Okay, that's good. You didn't murder her. She drowned.”
“She was still drugged from being shipped here.” I explain, but Dex holds up a hand.
“No more. Don't say another fucking word, okay? Just let me think for a second.”
I press my lips together and turn my attention to my little doll instead. I wonder if she can hear us. I wonder if it scares her to hear me admit that there was someone before her... someone who didn't make it.
“Okay.” Dex finally says, and I turn back to him expectantly. “What did you do with the body?”
“Hacked her into pieces and fed her to the snakes, of course.”
I say it with such a straight face that Dex looks like he'll hit the ground, and I feel bad. I brace him with one hand on his shoulder and roll my eyes.
“She was a person, Dex. What do youthinkI did with her? I buried her... in one piece.”
“Okay.” He nods. “Where? In the woods somewhere? Is there anything that will link her back to you if a dog finds her grave and runs off with her femur? Did you bury her deep enough?”
“Jesus, that's dark.” I mutter, shaking my head at him. “No, I buried her deep enough. I don't think a dog could smell her decomposing behind all the concrete anyway.”
“Concrete?”
“Mmm.” I nod. “I buried her in the family crypt. She's getting awfully cozy with my mother.”
“Stop fucking joking right now, Cal. This shit is serious.” He rakes a hand through his hair, wetting his lips as he looks at my little doll.
