Obviously.
"When did you become a fucking therapist?"
"Like, three years ago?" Dex sighs. "I have a doctorate, Amber. I don't practice because I don't want to spend my life analyzing my best friend. Listen, you don't have to forgive him."
"Forgive him for what?" Parker asks.
Neither one of us answers.
"But you can't stay mad forever. It will burn you faster than it will him... and I don't know if he can go on without you."
I open my mouth to try and say something in my defense, but Dex shakes his head.
"We're going to step out and leave you alone for a bit. If I were you, I'd take advantage of the fact he can't speak. Tell him everything... no matter how stupid or wrong you think it is. I promise, I know him better than you do. And I know that he's in love with you. Nothing you say will change that."
I stare at him, dumbfounded.
Dex presses a kiss to my cheek, and my confusion deepens.
I turn to Cal to see whether he's as confused as I am.
Instead, he's smirking.
I'm going to wipe that look right off his face the minute they leave us alone.
"Good thing you're not going anywhere." I tell him, standing when he tries to slip an arm around me.
He frowns at the loss of contact.
Now that we're alone, I don't know what I wanted to say to him.
"Do you love me?"
He blinks, clearly surprised by that question. But he doesn't hesitate before he nods.
"Then why would you do this to me?"
His eyes are sad, like he can feel my pain.
He opens his mouth, thinks better of it, and shakes his head. He mimes writing with his fingers in the air, and I look around before finding the pen and paper in the bedside table. When I hand them to him, he catches my hand and holds it so that I have to meet hisgaze.
There's an ocean there, depths I haven't yet explored. But I can love the sea without ever diving to the deepest caverns. I can love the moon without ever kissing it. I can love him without ever understanding everything that made him who he is.
I didn't think I could love someone who I didn't know everything about. I didn't think I could love someone who is capable of cruel things.
Callum is a killer. But so am I.
Every waking moment of our time together has been spent by me plotting revenge. And once I finally had it, I didn't know what to do with myself. It was terrifying, so I ran from it by asking for him to do the very thing that he thinks I haven't forgiven him for.
It's on me. I didn't do a good enough job of making him understand that he just got the fallout from all the bad things that happened before I met him.
When I was fully awake, I knew it, and I refused to tell him because I didn't want to give him the upper hand.
It's stupid, considering I don't want control... not when it comes to him.
When he turns the paper for me to see what he wrote, I shake my head.
I hurt you.
