But then she glances over at me, a nervous smile flickering across her face, and something in my chest steadies.
I couldn’t save my team. That weight will never leave me. But I can save her. Iwillsave her. Because losing Claire isn’t something I’m willing to survive.
I push the ghosts down and cross the distance between us.
McDowell should be here any minute, and I need her to relax if she’s going to be believable.
“How you holding up? I know this is a lot to deal with.” I rub up and down her arms as I stand before her, my boots making me that much taller than her.
“I’m freaking out, which I’m sure you know. But… yeah, I’m great.”
I can’t help but chuckle at the sarcasm, holding her face in my hands as I drop a kiss on her forehead.
“Youaregreat. You’re doing something incredibly brave, Claire. And I’m right here. I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise.”
She sags as a smile tugs at her lips. “Thanks. And youdolook nice in that vest of yours.”
“Ha,” I shake my head, “the vest is for protection because I’m a cautious asshole. It’s why you have a much slimmer one underneath that hoodie, which I owe Boss a serious favor for letting me borrow.”
“I think I want to meet this boss of yours. He sounds interesting.”
“I’d like that.” I sweep Claire’s long brown hair off her shoulder, letting my fingers linger against the warm skin of her neck. “I know this is all moving pretty fast, but…”
I trail off. The words are stuck somewhere between my chest and my throat, and I’ve never been good at this. At saying what I feel. At letting anyone in.
Claire watches me, her honey-brown eyes soft in the dim light.
“But what?” she prompts gently.
“I…” I blow out a breath, shaking my head at myself.Come on, Alec. You’ve faced down enemy fire. You can say words to a woman.“I think there’s something here. Something real. And I’ve spent a long damn time making sure I don’t feel things for people. It’s easier that way. Safer.”
My hands are still on her shoulders, and I can feel her pulse fluttering under my thumbs.
“But you make me not want safe anymore.” I search her face, struggling with words that don’t come easy. “I care about you, Claire. More than I’ve cared about anyone in longer than I can remember. And I don’t want this to end. I want to see where it goes. What we can be.”
Her eyes are shining now, tears threatening to spill over, and her lips part like she’s about to say something.
I hold my breath.
“Alec, I?—”
The sound of tires slowly approaching destroys the moment, and we both jerk toward the noise.
Fuck. Not now.
Claire’s hand falls from my face, and the cold night air rushes into the space between us.
“He’s here.” My voice comes out rougher than I intend. “I need to get into position.”
She nods, but I can see the words still there behind her eyes. The things she didn’t get to say.
Later,I promise myself.When this is over, I’m going to hear every single thing she was about to tell me.
I grab her hand and pull her close, pressing my forehead to hers. Our breath mingles in the cold air, and I close my eyes, memorizing this moment.
“You’ve got this, Claire,” I murmur against her lips. “You’re the bravest person I know. And I’m going to be right there the whole time. He’s not going to touch you. I swear it.”
“I know.” Her voice is barely a whisper. “I trust you.”
