Raya’s laughing by the time Tori and I order our drinks. Scotch for me, martini for Tori, and club soda for my wife. The fact that she’s not drinking doesn’t go unnoticed, but I temper my excitement and let her be.
“So how do you feel about it?” Tori asks after Raya runs down the talk with her mother.
“I feel nothing. Same as before.”
“It’s okay if you feel sad,” Tori reassures. “I know you like to look strong, but you’re human.”
Raya rolls her eyes. “First of all, I don’t like to look strong, because when people think you’re strong, they leave you to fend for yourself. And second, I’m not sad. If I was, I would tell you.”
Tori looks at me and smiles. “You hear that, Ace? Your wife is a damsel in distress.”
I snicker at that.
“I didn’t say all that.” Raya looks at me. “Stop laughing at her dumb jokes.”
“Nah, it was just the idea of you pretending like you don’t already have us both wrapped around your fucking finger.”
“Oh how I wishthatwas true.”
Tori’s brow lifts. “Need we remind you of a little thing called first-degree murder?”
“Okay. I’ll give y’all that. But let’s get it all out on the table.”
“Hello! I’m Jordan, and I’ll be serving you tonight.”
Whatever she was gonna say gets lost in the flurry of menus, orders, and Tori flirting with Jordan. It’s not until Tori and I are on our second round of drinks that Raya revisits her point.
“Listen,” she begins. “I’m not gonna lie. I thought about killing both of you.”
I set my glass down and angle my body toward my wife, eager to hear this.
“I knew that would hurt me so much, I’d have to kill myself, so that plan was out. Then I thought about how I could hurt both of you.”
“Wait, what are we talking about?” Tori asks smoothly.
But Raya isn’t fooled. “Yall conspired to put his fucking baby in me, which was an insane violation of…everything. But we don’t have to rehash it.”
Tori nods.
“I’m never gonna forget that y’all went behind my back and did this to me. It really…hurt me.”
She said that last part like it was some bitter-tasting medicine she had to swallow. And frankly, I'm surprised to hear her say it. My wife isn’t one to talk about her feelings.
“Is there a way we can make it up to you?” Tori says, and Raya’s tiny smile makes my stomach twist.
“Y'all can listen to me. I need to say my piece. It’s probably gonna feel disrespectful, but it’s the only way.”
“Do what you gotta do, babe.”
“Wait a minute,” Tori objects. “When you say disrespectful—“
“I need to cuss y’all out a little bit. I gotta get this anger out. I think y’all would both agree that it’s like poison. If I don’t purge it…” she trails off, leaving us both to use our imaginations to finish that sentence.
“Go ahead,” Tori says. “Wait, lemme brace myself.”
She and I both sit up a little straighter.
“Okay. Auntie, you a lowdown, trifling, bald-headed bitch for that. And I say that becausethisnigga,” she points at me, “just became my family a few months ago.You’vebeen my family all my life. We share blood. You were supposed to be onmymotherfucking side, hoe. But you’d rather scheme with this stupid motherfucker.”
