“If it’s abuse,” Raya says, “why do we both enjoy it so much sometimes?”
“Perhaps your nervous systems recognize the pattern, and that makes itfeelgood, even though it’s not.”
“So what do we do now?”
She rifles through her desk drawer before pulling out a few business cards. “Call one of these people. They can help you. I cannot.”
Security escorted us out.
I found that a little offensive, honestly, but oh, well. Now we're back in the car stewing.
“We just got fired by our therapist.”
“I know, Ace. I was there.”
“Do you know how fucked up you gotta be to get fired by your therapist?”
“It is what it is," she says softly. "We can still work on things on our own, though, right?”
“I don’t know.”
“I feel like I learned some things.”
“We didn’t learn shit, Raya.”
“Okay, well before we started snitching on each other, we were supposed to tell her what we love about each other. We can still do that, just me and you.”
I look over at her, appreciating the earnest look on her face. She looks like she's trying.
“No holds barred? The good and the bad?”
“And the ugly.”
“Aight.” I stare at her pretty face and find myself lost for words. “I think I was in a daze on our wedding day,” I begin. “I remember thinking how beautiful you were, but I don’t think I said it. That’s obviously one thing I love.”
“You did say it.”
“Cool. I love your passion. I love your intensity. Fuck what Doc said. That shit is attractive as fuck,” I say, laughing. “I love how you put your mind to shit and get it done.”
She smiles at that.
“I fuckin’ love how you don’t take no shit. Not even from me. My wife isstrict, nigga. I respect the hell outta that.”
“Period.”
“This next one…” I pause to put my hand on her cheek. “I love how after everything you’ve been through in your life, you’re still standing. You’d be well within your rights to fall apart, and I’d be here to put you back together, but you haven’t. A rose from the concrete.”
I lean across the space between us and kiss her softly. Just one.
“You’re smart. You’re funny,” I continue. “You’re ambitious. You scare me sometimes, but that’s cool. It’s just adrenaline.”
She laughs.
“I love how you love me. Your kinda love is fierce, and that’s exactly what I need.”
She lets her face rest against my hand. “Can I go?”
“Go ahead.”
