I prayed I wouldn’t end up resenting the sacrifice.
Chapter Seventeen
Sir Colt Lawrence
I placed my hand to my temples and tried to rid myself of a cursed headache. It had been two days since the romp in the library. I had been on pins and needles ever since. Lord Kendrick had projected his usual devil-may-care self and attempted to treat our tryst as a lark. I had reservations, and deep down, I sensed he did as well.
“Colt?” Lady Lillian knocked on the open door to my office. I glanced up and offered her a smile in greeting. She’d left soon after our encounter, and I hadn’t seen her since.
“Lady Lillian, this is a pleasant surprise.” And it was. If anyone understood what I was going through, it would be she.
“I’m sorry if I’m disturbing you. You look rather involved.” Her knowing eyes saw right into my soul.
I waved her in and offered her the seat across from my desk. “I was, but I’m also ready for a break. After a while, the numbers seem to run together. How are the wedding plans?”
She blew a stray curl from her forehead and heaved an audible sigh. The navy skirt and matching military-style jacket with golden frogs accented her narrow waist. A visual of what the material hid played over in my mind. It had since I had the privilege to disrobe her.
“Between my mother and the duchess, I have barely had a second to put pen to paper. If I keep being pulled away to dofittings, choose music, or approve a guest list, I’ll never be able to put what I learned to paper.” She plopped down in the chair and leaned back. Sunlight streamed in from one of the stained glass windows and shadowed her face with a prism of color. Her hair was a warm brown with shooting strands of gold intertwined in her curls.
“I can well imagine since I have been tasked with drafting said list. A wedding in the house of Alton is a major undertaking.” I resumed my seat and arched my neck, trying to rid myself of the kinks caused by leaning over a desk all day. “Once everything is aligned, it will be well worth it.”
“Yes, well, I have missed coming here and seeing both of you. Is my fiancé at home?” she asked with a hopeful smile.
“I’m afraid he isn’t. He is at the House of Lords.”
“I keep forgetting he is a duke and not simply an artist.” Lady Lillian bit her bottom lip, the full bottom lip I had kissed and wished to kiss again. She was betrothed to Lord Kendrick, and although she and I shared some intimacies, kissing the duke’s fiancée seemed too bold to do without him present.
“Yes, he wears two hats. I have seen little of him either.” I had a feeling he was avoiding me. It didn’t surprise me. What happened between us changed things, and Lord Kendrick often needed time to reflect on his actions and how they affected others.
It pained me to think things might become strained between us. For how long was up in the air. We had to work through exactly what our association was. I would like to continue to be his lover, even after leaving his employ. Marriage was also on my mind. I wasn’t averse to wooing a woman, especially one like Lady Lillian. She was easy to talk to.
“A pity. I rather enjoyed our, um, our discussions in the library.” A flush touched her cheeks, and she stared down at her feet, her voice going quiet.
“It was rather robust.” A grin formed at her reminder. If nothing else happened, I would forever recall how I had fulfilled a longtime fantasy with the man I loved and would always love. Even if he spurned me.
“I’m itching to get it on paper, but my mother ...” she trailed off and rested her elbows on the desk. “When I can’t write, it is like a dam of words becomes backed up in my mind. I’m itching to write them down. Can I burden you for paper and ink?”
I understood what she said because since we had discussed my book in the library, I had used every bit of free time I had to put pen to paper. “It would be my pleasure. I assume you can type.”
“I had a typewriter. My mother disapproved and had the typewriter removed. I hired a man to type my manuscript, but I cannot ask anyone to type the new material for me.” The blush returned as she stared at my clerk’s desk, which held a Hammond #2 Typewriter from New York.
“You will be the duchess soon. You can get another one for your personal use. Might I suggest finding a personal secretary for you? You will need someone to help you with the tremendous burden you will gain.” With my leaving, the duke and duchess would need extra staff to handle their private affairs.
“Oh dear, yet another issue to add to my list, but necessary. Do you know of anyone? An agency perhaps?” She fiddled with the pearl button on her cuff, ink stains gained from writing on the tip of her middle finger.
