“You lied to me for twenty years. I don’t even know you anymore.” I clutched the glass with more force, trying to square his apology with my own hurt. We had fought in the past and I accepted he had secrets but this wasn’t just any secret. It was life changing for all of us.
“I am still the same person you have known for twenty years.” Moran gripped the desktop harder, the pinched skin around his mouth speaking of his growing upset. “Nigel hated my father because he thought he had stolen my mother from him, like she was a possession. When my grandfather died, Nigel had us physically removed from the house with only the clothes on our back. My father had no skills and he begged his brother to allow us to return.”
“You could have told me.” I wanted to soften toward him but my feelings were too raw. “The entire time you pretended to be something you weren’t.”
“I am more who I am with you and Birdie than I am with anyone else. I love my life the way it is. Accepting the title means giving up the life I built and associating with the people who wouldn’t even lift a finger to help my father.” The resentment in his tone wasn’t new. He had been fiercely protective of his father and had hinted that his extended family weren’t nice people.The fact his uncle was a duke made the entire situation more egregious.
“You can’t hide who you are.” Any more than I could hide who I was. I didn’t want to be an inspector anymore. Like him, I wanted to go back to where we were before this all happened. Except that wasn’t possible. Nor was it possible for me to forgive him yet.
“It isn’t who I am. You know that.” He stood and began to round the desk, pleading in the depths of his eyes.
“The truth is, I don’t know that.” Hand lifted to halt his momentum, I shook my head. I thought I knew everything about him. Apparently, I was delusional. I set the glass down on the desk and headed toward the door. My feet slid on a piece of paper and I caught myself. “I have to go.”
“No, please don’t.” He gripped my wrist, the imploring in his gaze more pronounced. “I can’t lose your friendship.”
“You should have considered that before lying to me.” My own emotions were frayed, and I had to spend some time apart from him.
“I know you are upset and you have every right to be. I will abdicate the title and things will return to normal once my successor is found. I am certain I have a bevy of cousins who would gladly take the title.” Desperation and exhaustion crossed his face. “Please stay and talk.”
That was the second time he spoke of abdicating the title. Given my dislike of titles in general, I should applaud the move. Except Moran abdicating seemed like a cowardly thing to do. It was very complicated and the pounding in my temples couldn’t help me articulate my feelings in any reasonable manner. “I can’t.” I shook my head, my throat tight. My hand on the knob, I forced myself to move. “I have to leave.”
“Are you leaving for good?” The rawness in his voice caught me off guard.
“I can’t answer that right now.” I turned to him, my palm cupping the back of his neck. Cutting my association with him had never crossed my mind until now. I rested my forehead against his, everything inside me rebelling at never seeing Moran again. “I need some time to digest this.”
He released a long, drawn-out sigh. “I understand.”
I loosened my hold and turning on my heel, strode out the door. Taking the stairs two at a time, I rushed to the exit and shot out into the alley. For most of my life, he had been a big part of it. Even if he gave up his title, I would know his lineage. Years of prejudice would be difficult to let go of. Shame coursed through me, along with self-deserved upset. Our friendship would be forever changed and I wasn’t certain we could ever get it back.
Chapter Thirty-Five
The Right Honorable Bernice Natham
The early morning rush of traffic and the jingling of harnesses followed me as I walked to work. Sleep had evaded me all night and exhaustion weighed my limbs, but I trudged on. I kept replaying my argument with Moran and each time, it sparked my temper brighter. How dare he propose to me like I was some sort of obligation? I skirted a man sitting on the corner in front of the butcher shop and turned to my left.
Despite my upset with him, my stomach flip-flopped with nerves at the thought of seeing him. There was no way to avoid Moran but I wouldn’t spend extra time conversing about matters that didn’t pertain to the publishing house. The entire office had to be reorganized after the Met tore it apart, which would keep me busy for a week.
I cut across the alley to the street in front of the T.J. Moran Publishing House and my steps faltered. A group of people stood on the corner with white signs. Squinting to read them, I quickly approached the crowd, the words on the signs coming into focus.Save our children from the corrupt. Immoral Moran. Death to Sodomites.
Horror overcame me. News about Moran’s arrest must have leaked and people were protesting outside the building. Shoulders back, I held my head high, determined not to be intimidated by the bigots. However, my association with himmight land me in hot water. There was still the matter of bilking my cousin out of his inheritance.
“Mrs. Worth.” An elderly man in a black greatcoat and mutton chops called me by name, stepping away from the group. I recognized him instantly. He was the one who had been lurking in the alley the first day I went to work for Moran.
“You have the advantage.” I was torn between running back the way I came, or continuing on my current path.
