She shook her head in vehement denial. “You took nothing from me. I gave it to you freely because it was what I wanted.”
“That isn’t the point.” The outrage continued to flame brighter. I slipped my fingers into the hair falling over my forehead, anger and hurt warring inside me. I pulled at the strands of my hair until my scalp stung. Birdie had been a virgin the first night I bedded her and she hadn’t seen fit to tell me. Throughout the years, I avoided virgins because my grandfather had pounded it into my head that bedding a virgin meant marrying her.
“Itisthe point and frankly, none of your affair.” She snatched up her coat and gloves, eyes chips of ice.
Releasing my hair, I shook my head, unable to fathom the outcome of our night spent together. “You made it my business when you tricked me into bedding you. You know the rules of chastity in your circle. No respectable gentleman—and I use that term loosely—will marry you once they learn you are no longer a virgin.”
Stubborn chin lifted, she narrowed her eyes at me. “Not just my circle, it’s your circle. You are a duke, whether you wish to acknowledge it or not.”
A burst of bitter laughter escaped, along with panic at the thought of being the next Lord Moreland. “I have no business being in high society with all of their frivolous restrictions. Therefore, I will not be keeping the title.”
“Yet you wish to hold me to those same restrictions?” Birdie shook her head, her curls bouncing. Furious eyes locked with mine, her color high. “Now who is the fraud?”
“You should have told me. It wasn’tjustyour decision to make.” I was in an untenable situation, with only one course open to me. Except, the more I considered the solution, the more I warmed to it. Granted, my anger still simmered beneath the surface but eventually it would fade. I wanted to start a family and Ash had been right when he said she and I were a good match. “Now that the die is cast, I have no choice but to offer for your hand or see you ruined.”
Shocked eyes locked with mine, the gloves slipping from her fingers. She bent down to snatch them up. Jaw jutted out, the spitting fury in her gaze could melt ice. “I will be no man’s obligation.”
“There are repercussions for what we did. What if you are increasing?” I lifted my head and stared past her shoulder. My grandfather had instilled values in me that I couldn’t dodge. Ihad compromised her and the repercussions of bedding a virgin couldn’t be any clearer.
“We used contraception and that is beside the point.” She held up a staying hand to prevent me from coming closer. “I agreed to an affair. That was my decision to make, not yours and not Ash’s. I am my own woman now and always will be. Save your pity for someone else.”
“It is not an offer made out of pity but of affection.” I wasn’t handling this well. Ash was right, it was a wonder any woman was ever interested in me. While I was fond of Birdie, I wasn’t sure whether I was in love with her. I couldn’t give her false hope for more than respect and admiration. “We are friends above anything else. I don’t abandon my friends.”
“While I appreciate the sentiment, I will have to decline.” Coolness continued to clip her words. “I must leave before darkness sets in.”
“Let me walk you home.” I moved to the wardrobe to get dressed.
“No, that won’t be necessary. I can see my own way home. I will be in early to clean up the mess.” Before I could respond, she walked out the door, leaving me unsure what to do next. Instinct said to walk her home anyway but she’d made it clear my offer wasn’t welcome.
The fact that she said she’d be back at work was a plus. I removed a clean pair of trousers from my wardrobe and pulled them on. Her rejection stung more than I’d anticipated. The room felt empty without her and I had no desire to sleep, although exhaustion weighed me down. Nor was my restless mood conducive to editing. Boxing would be just the thing to release the tension brought on by the last few days.
Gathering my shoes, I slipped them on before going into the stairwell. The building was quiet, my feet scuffing on the worn wood. The office door stood ajar, my pulse hammering withanticipation of the mess I would no doubt find. Birdie had said they had torn the office apart. She was another complication I wasn’t sure how to deal with. I had every right to fire her for lying but everything inside me screamed foul at doing something so drastic.
The door creaked open, exposing my worst fears. Hands on my hips, I surveyed the room. The floor was a sea of white paper, my books pulled off the shelf and scattered all over the room. Outrage rushed through me in waves, and I was tempted to leave it until the morning. Once Birdie came in, we could go through the mess together.
I picked up a few books and slipped them into the shelf nearest me. Birdie had arranged them by author, in alphabetical order, and would be appalled that I wasn’t taking the time to put them back correctly. The sheer amount of damage to my office was criminal and I would lodge a complaint with Stark in the morning.
My boxing equipment in the corner looked to have been untouched. Flexing my neck from side to side, I walked deeper into the room, picking up papers until I reached my boxing bag. The sheer amount of work to put things right would set me back and I might not be able to meet my deadline.
I slipped on the boxing gloves and pulled the laces tight with my teeth. Frigid air hit me and I realized the radiator was broken. I’d been meaning to repair it before Stark arrested me. Although it had merely been two days before, it felt like a lifetime.
Flexing my fingers, I began a one two punch, warming up to each hit. Rather like my life of late, each blow seemed chaotic and uncontrolled. The manuscripts thrown willy-nilly could be salvaged, although they would have to be retyped. I punched harder, furious all over again.
While a setback, they didn’t concern me the most. Ash was upset with me at a time when I desperately needed his friendship. And while I could forgive Birdie for hiding her identity, her lying about her virginity was another matter. She claimed it was none of my affair, and perhaps it wasn’t. I punched harder, sweat rolling down my cheeks. I stayed away from virgins for a reason. She had no right to put the weight of that responsibility on my shoulders without informing me first.
Twisting my torso, I began hitting the bag with more speed. The news she’d imparted had put me off balance and that revelation sent me into a tailspin. The result was an ill-advised proposal she flatly refused. My pride bruised, I focused on the punches. Once I was done, I would take another bath. Or perhaps not. I loved baths but bathing would remind me of her.
No matter what I did next, I couldn’t get away from one simple fact—I had feelings for Birdie and that wouldn’t do. I wanted to get married yet bungled the proposal. Either I could take what she offered on her terms, or sever ties with Birdie. Neither was a winning proposition.
