“He has feelings for you, a rarity for Moran.”
“I doubt they run too deep, other than lust. He is courting another woman.” Hurt and anger laced her words, speaking of her upset over the matter.
If I hadn’t been so upset with her, I would consider it a win. “You do him a disservice.”
“You domea disservice.” Nose to nose with me, she glowered. “There are few opportunities open to unmarried women. I tried the honest route and had more doors closed than opened. Save for domestic, or factory work, or nursing, very few people—men I should say, will hire an unmarried woman.”
I exhaled a long breath, trying to maintain a semblance of control. “You should have told him the truth.”
“It is easy for you to judge me, and Suzette. You have every opportunity to follow your dreams. We are limited in our resources.” She rocked back on her heels and shook her head. “If you truly want to understand Suzette, stop judging her with your own standards.”
“This isn’t about Suzette and me. It is about you lying to Moranandto me.” I dug my heels into the floorboard, resisting the urge to pace. Her observations hit home, yet I still couldn’t soften toward her. “You were a virgin, and you let him bed you.”
“What does that have to do with anything?” She continued to sway on her feet, agitation in every gesture.
“You fooled him into thinking you were an experienced woman.” My own temper sparked brighter at the notion. “Wecould have been letches of the worst sort and taken advantage of your innocence.”
“I never claimed to be experienced, neither is that here nor there. I gave myself freely to him.” She poked me in the chest with one finger. “It was my choice to give, and frankly, it was none of his affair.”
“I bet he would beg to differ.” Moran had avoided virgins like the plague. “There is a reason he only courts widows who know the lay of the land.”
“You may be listening to me, but you are not hearing what I am saying. Losing my virginity wasmychoice, nobody else’s. I am not under any man’s thumb, nor am I obligated to explain myself. Suffice it to say, if I were a man, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. Indeed, you would offer me celebratory brandy and encourage me to boast about my conquest. Isn’t that the way of men?”
Her reply brought me up short. I had forgotten about her blunt nature instead of the sultry woman she’d proved herself to be. “You are a lady. A member of the upper crust.” Another shock to my already shocked sensibilities. Over the years, I developed a genuine dislike for most of the aristocracy for many reasons. If one possessed enough power and influence, they were above the law.
She persisted, “You are skirting my question.”
“I wasn’t aware you asked me one.”
Birdie opened her mouth before she closed it with a snap. Head angled, she held my gaze. “Now who is avoiding the truth?”
Despite my continuing anger, a sheepish smile broke through. “Fine, you are right. I would be celebrating. Except you aren’t a man. You are alady.” I still found it hard to fathom that she had tricked me into thinking she was part of the working class.
“I am a lady.” She placed her hands on her hips, her combative stance more pronounced. “And you have expressed your contempt for the gentry in no uncertain terms. Is that the true reason for your anger? If I were the grocer’s daughter, would you be able to forgive my transgressions?”
“I can’t stomach lying.” I snapped the words out, her accusations cutting into my core like a sharp dagger. “You lied.”
“You are a hypocrite.” She ground out, glancing at the closed door, her jaw clenched. “You told me Moran wasn’t doing anything illegal. That isn’t true, is it? What we did could be dangerous for all of us.”
“Are you trying to blackmail him?” I couldn’t believe the turn of the conversation.
Her hand flew to her chest, her expression falling. “Have you so little respect for me that you think I would do something so underhanded to the man I love?”
The words cut through the tension like nothing else could.
“You are in love with Moran?” Triumph, along with consternation hit me all at once. I had been after him to propose to her, and now that she admitted her feelings, my own were mixed.
She rubbed at her face, blocking her expression from view. “I am, but you can’t tell him. I, well, I will tender my resignation tomorrow.”
“No.” The comment left my lips before I realized it. “No, you can’t do that. You must tell him the truth.”
“I can’t tell him the truth. He hates the gentry as much as you do.” Shoulders hunched, she released a soft sob. “He will be livid with me.”
“Oh, bother.” I pulled her into my arms. She was right on that score.
“I need this job. I have my sisters to worry about.”
“What of your father?” The burden she carried was heavy and while I sympathized, I still had to calculate Moran into the equation.
