“Now you know where I keep my secrets.” Moran shut the safe that was hidden under the floorboards in his office and stood upright, a rueful twist to his lips. He hadn’t shaved and his shirt was open at the neck. My heart filled with an emotion I dared not express. He never looked more appealing nor more unobtainable.
Ash snorted in mock derision and buttoned his greatcoat.
With a shake of my head at their teasing, I laid my hand on Moran’s chest and pressed a kiss to his lips. “At least some of them,” I said, rocking back on my heels.
The clock chimed two o’clock as Ash settled his hat on his head. “Are you ready Birdie?”
My mind screamed no but I had responsibilities I couldn’t shirk. The time to leave was at hand and it pained me to leave Moran. “Goodbye then.”
“Goodbye.” Moran took his seat in the spring chair, his hands gripping the desk to keep himself steady. I shook my head and met Ash’s amused regard before we exited into the back stairwell. The dim light from outsight cast the narrow hallway in shadows, the floorboards creaking under our weight.
“I wish that our time together didn’t have to end.” Ash opened the back door and stepped outside, the navy greatcoat whipping in the wind.
Late afternoon sunlight greeted me. After the heavy snow of the night before, I had expected that we would be snowed in for a few days. The weather had warmed quite a bit throughout the morning, and we’d shared one last intimate encounter before I insisted on going home to my family. “The snow wasn’t very obliging by melting so quickly. However, my sisters will be worried,” I said.
“I am surprised Violet didn’t come looking for you.” Ash slipped his hand under my arm, offering me support while we traversed a pile of snow. Unlike his boots, my own footwear afforded me little protection from the slushy water that puddled the walkway.
“Eloise should be home with them tonight.” I realized my error the second her name left my lips. Blimey, I needed to watch my tongue and refer to her as Ella. I lifted my skirt, the road slushy in places. Up ahead, a snowplow manned by six men and two dray horses cleared the roadway. “It appears as if our timing is perfect. We will have clear roads to traverse.”
“Your sister’s name is Eloise?” Frown lines appeared between his eyes and he studied me with more scrutiny than I was comfortable with. We passed a building that blocked the sun, the chill more pronounced. Or perhaps it was my own guilt playing tricks on me. With each step, we moved closer to my flat.
“Yes, we call her Ella since our mother’s name was Eloise. She died in childbirth. My younger siblings are half-sisters.” All of it was the truth, however, my heart raced at my trickery. Surely Ash hadn’t seen my letter of introduction and guessed it was false? I shook off the doubt. It was too farfetched even to consider. Yet stranger things had happened.
“Your parents are both deceased, I assume.”
My pace increased, along with my nervousness at his line of inquiry. “My mother died in childbirth, as did my stepmother.”
“Leaving you to raise the girls.” He waved to a bobby who was speaking to another man on the street corner. Ash and Moran had grown up in the neighborhood and were familiar with the citizens, thus the exchange didn’t seem sinister. “What about your father?”
I forced myself to not answer immediately, giving me time to sound plausible. “Unlike your father, he wasn’t a good one.” After I moved the girls from a horrible boarding house in Whitechapel, I now considered Milk Street my home. While I had big dreams, I didn’t anticipate ever having a life like I once had.
“I am lucky to have my father, to be sure.” He slipped his arm more fully into mine, the warmth of his body a welcome sensation. “Moran wants children. You have lots of them under your care.”
“He told me he is courting the dressmaker.” The jealousy I experienced every time I thought of Mrs. Engel was unfounded. I had no right to covet Moran. We had an arrangement and I had to think about my future.
The chill from the shadowed street seeped into my bones. My outerwear wasn’t meant for such cold weather, but I had sold everything off to help feed my sisters.
Ash cast me a sideways glance, guiding me across the street. His breath fogged in the chilly air. “He went to lunch with her. He didn’t bed her.”
“I should hope not.” Realizing the harshness of my tone, I forced a laugh. “Connie was in attendance. I couldn’t imagine your mother condoning such behavior in front of her. From my understanding, you were there as well to meet her cousin.”
“She is a pleasant woman, I suppose. My mother doesn’t know about Suzette.” Regret tightened his jaw under the golden beard.
I nodded, understanding his plight. However, my dislike of the woman continued to simmer. “Why didn’t you tell her?”
“You’ve met my mother.” He flashed a self-deprecating smirk. Connie ruled the roost and her family kowtowed to her whims. “She would have insisted on meeting Suzette.”
“And Suzette refused to meet her?” It would make sense considering she had spurned Ash. I might be a touch prejudiced because of my growing affection for him. He was a good man who deserved someone who wanted to be with him.
“I never asked her.” Ash exhaled a long breath, the smile fading. His flirtatious demeanor was a façade he used to deflect from his heartache. “She is the courtesan to a member of the French consulate.”
The mystery of Suzette ran deeper than I suspected. I had been taught to revile women like her, simply because of her profession. Of course, I was taught that a woman married and didn’t work. Neither seemed fair to womankind. “Is she in love with him?”
“No. He is married and impotent and he keeps her in residence to entertain his friends. She wants to be a lady.” Bitterness twisted his lips, his steps lengthening in his agitation. The rakish air he carried was shed and the raw emotion peeked through.
“If he can’t marry her, how is that possible?” I tried to be understanding. Being a woman on my own, it was hard to make your dreams come true.
“Powerful men attend Alberto’s parties. He is very high up in the French government. I suspect most come to flirt with Suzette. She is a very beautiful woman.” Despite his upset, his love for her was real. Having never met her, I couldn’t say if she deserved his devotion or not. The easiest thing to do was to judge others by your own standards.
