While my cock wanted to ravish him, my mind was more cautious. “As tempting as that sounds, it isn’t wise.”
He slipped his palm up my shoulder to the nape of my neck. Leaning in, he licked a path along my throat. “Are you certain? You look very tempting right now and taste equally as mouthwatering.”
“And you sound rather desperate. What is going on?” As much as I wished for him to continue, something was off with him.
Ash lifted his head, frowning. “Why must something be wrong for me to desire you?”
“We had an agreement.”
“That was while I was in love with Suzette, and you were engaged to Elizabeth. Neither one of those is the case now. Thus, there is no reason why we can’t continue satisfying each other’s passions.”
“I want to agree with you. However, what happens when you fall in love again? Or I find someone to marry? Then we will be back to where we were before.” Weaning myself from him was very difficult. Desire, coupled with my love for him, made it hard to break our physical bond.
“WhenIfall in love again, andyoufind someone to marry.” He thumbed my jaw, his closeness making it hard to stay on track. “What an odd way of phrasing it.”
My stomach sank, and I debated what to say. I had been taught from a young age that marriage and love had nothing to do with one another. Ash had a different perspective. He came from a loving family with great affection for one another. Hisparents had fallen in love and were still in love to this day. My mother died in childbirth, and my father had been disowned by his brother. “Unlike you, I don’t expect to be in love with the woman I marry.” Nor would I allow myself to do so.
“What a very sad marriage you will have.” He tilted my chin and leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to my mouth. “I wish more for you. You deserve to marry someone you love and who understands you like I do.”
I yearned for more of his kisses and looped my arm around his neck, drawing him tight to me. My body in a heightened state, I wanted to allow the lust to overcome my reservations. Holding back hadn’t made a difference, and I missed his touch. So much for my good intentions. “That is a tall order. Nobody understands me like you do.”
“I understand that you have given Mrs. Worth an editing project.” With a laugh, he shook his head, his lips playing over mine before I could respond.
The reminder stiffened my spine and a stab of panic hit. I loosened my arm. Lust might be driving me, but common sense said to stop before it went too far. Somehow, it seemed disrespectful to Mrs. Worth to carry on right under her nose. “We must stop. She is in the other room, and the walls are thin.”
With a reluctant nod, he stepped back, his breathing ragged. Eyelids heavy, he sighed. “Fine, but I insist we pick up where we left off tonight after supper.”
I still wasn’t sure if it was wise, but was resigned to the inevitable. Old habits were hard to break and I carried great affection for him. “You’re here rather early. Did something happen?”
He pressed his lips together and nodded, his chest still rising and falling faster than normal from his earlier excitement. The greatcoat was unbuttoned and hung around his hips, the proof of his desire showing beneath the placard of his trousers. I toremy gaze away, not wanting to give in to temptation. It was bad enough that I was capitulating so quickly when I had been determined to keep him at a distance for both our sakes.
“I spoke to Stark today.” He sifted his hand through his hair, the mass disheveled from where I had run my fingers through it. “He asked me if I knew you, and I thought for a moment that he was going to announce that he was investigating you.”
“What did he say?” My gut twisted, and I clenched my hands, my knuckles sore from my earlier bout with the boxing bag. I kept a water pitcher and basin on a low table near the back window. Ever since Ash had told me about Stark being the new detective chief inspector, there had been a niggling in the back of my mind that they would find me out. I poured water into the basin and picked up a clean cloth. Wringing it out, I ran it along my chest and arms.
“You will laugh when I tell you.” Ash shook his head, dropping his hand from his hair. He took the cloth from my hand and moved behind me, running the cool wetness along my heated back. “He wants an autographed copy of Roth’s book for his mother. Apparently, she is a big fan ofThe Ghost of Mistletoe Manorand eagerly awaits the publication of Roth’s new novel.”
Relief sagged my shoulders, and I nodded, angling my head when his lips trailed a path along the back of my neck. With the rise of the sixpence novel, my publications became affordable to the masses, not just the privileged few, like my uncle and cousin. Mrs. Roth’s book was the anchor of my line. I had a short time to finish the edits and get it to the press for publication. Time was ticking by at an accelerated rate. Just thinking about the deadline sent my gaze to the pile of unfinished work. With a reluctant sigh, I stepped away from Ash and headed to my desk. If I didn’t distance myself, we’d be back where we were a few minutes ago. “I will gladly give him one once it’s ready to sell.”
“The department is cracking down on corruption, thus he will be paying for the book.” Ash followed me, his footsteps muted on the thick rug that covered the plank flooring. “There is something else.”
I snapped my head around at the graveness in his tone. “What happened?”
“I thought I saw Suzette.” His lips turned down in a grim line, and he settled his hands on his hips once more. “I chased after the woman, but in the end, it wasn’t her.”
Questions whirled in my head as I donned my shirt and slipped my arms into the sleeves. I used the cover of the fabric to hide my reaction. She had led him a merry chase before her departure.
While logically, I knew she experienced something very traumatic, the way she strung him along hadn’t sat well with me. It most likely had something to do with jealousy. “Earlier you told me that you were over her. Would you have tried to resume the love affair if it had been she?”
Earnest eyes locked with mine, daring me to say something. “Yes. My feelings for her haven’t changed.”
Everything inside said to chastise him, yet I kept my opinion to myself. Jealousy had intermingled with hope that my friend could have his heart’s desire.
“You don’t approve?” Ash eyed me with suspicion.
“I want whatever you want. If you feel she’s the woman for you and there’s a chance for you to find happiness, then I will support you.” I slipped on my waistcoat and fastened the brass buttons. If she was in France and he in England, I didn’t foresee it happening. “Your mother is eager to introduce me to a young lady she met at the dressmaker.”
My grandfather would roll over in his grave if he knew I was courting a commoner.
