Chapter Seventeen
The Right Honorable Miss Bernice Namath
Mr. Moran’s warning rang in my ears as I kept picturing him behind the door without his shirt. My face flamed, and I willed the memories back. He had given me a gift, and I wanted to concentrate on it. I flattened my hand on the manuscript before me, unable to fathom that I—Bernice Namath—was set to edit MH Roth’s book. The red pencil called to me. My pulse beat harder, simply thinking about picking it up. I was a bit afraid to dive into the book for fear that I might mess up. It was a silly thing to consider, but there I was.
The outside door opened, and Inspector Ashton walked in. A rush of awareness sparked before I tamped it down. I had set the ground rules and couldn’t concede because of my sins. “Good afternoon, Inspector.”
“It’s Ash.” He smiled half-heartedly, a downtrodden look in his eyes. Per usual, he wore a navy greatcoat, the well-cut wool accenting his wide shoulders.
“Indeed, pray forgive me for the slip up.” I studied him, the energy I expected to see from him noticeably absent. My attraction to him continued to grow, although I didn’t wish to feel anything toward him. Yet a small part of me wanted to agree to his courtship. In another life...except that wouldn’t have played out either. I had been born a lady; in my past, I wouldhave never met him. “You look rather frayed. Is everything all right?”
“Is Moran in his office?” Ignoring my question, Ash settled his hands on his hips, pushing his navy uniform coat aside, staring at Moran’s office door but remaining where he stood. He was obviously upset and wanted to talk.
“He has asked not to be disturbed for...” I looked at the clock and frowned. Where had the time gone? A touch of panic hit. I had yet to even turn the title page because of an internal fear of failure. It was a character flaw that was difficult to overcome. “Another seventeen minutes.”
“That is very precise.” Ash removed his hat and fiddled with the brim. Sadness seemed to cling to him in the grim downward tilt to his mouth. My concern for him grew.
“Is everything all right? You don’t look yourself. Not that I know what your manners are all the time since we are mere acquaintances...”Who kissed. I trailed off, my lips tingling at the reminder. Despite that, I could very well see us becoming friends.
“I think we are a bit more than acquaintances.” He perched his hip on the desk corner, facing me, a touch of his flirtatious self back. His large frame was alluring, if not a bit intimidating. He carried himself well, another thing that drew me to him. I felt protected around him, which made my decision to distance myself even harder.
“Since we agreed not to mention our, um, that again, I suggest we skip the innuendo.” Once again, I was taken with his fetching countenance, his all-seeing blue gaze. Except that unto itself was impossible.
“The innuendo is what makes life interesting.” Ash lifted my pencil from the desk and began to roll it between his lean fingers. His knuckles were reddened from the outdoors, the veins under his skin prominent. “Or at least flirting.”
A smile tugging at my mouth, I nodded. No matter how tempted I was to change my mind, I couldn’t allow myself the luxury. It was easy to give in to my fears for the future. But with my new position, I had hope that I would thrive on my own wits. “Flirting is innocent enough, as long as there are no greater expectations.”
Understanding passed between us, and he nodded. “Tell me, Birdie, have you ever thought you saw someone, and when you approached them, it wasn’t them?”
What an odd question to ask. “Yes, I suppose at some point I might have. Violet got lost in the crowd at Regent’s Park Zoo once. Like all the other girls, she was wearing a white dress amongst a sea of white dresses. It gave Elo—Ella and me a fright.”
“Imagine, even at a young age, Violet was causing trouble.” Ash shook his head in amusement at my sister’s antics. His leg dangled over the side of the desk, his foot swinging back and forth. He’d had his shoes buffed, for the scratch on the tip was less noticeable.
“I take it from your earlier comment that you thought you saw someone you knew, only to be disappointed.” I was curious if it was a woman. He had asked to pay court to me thus I assumed he had no love interest.
His smile fell, and he lowered his head, blocking his gaze from view. “She is a witness to one of my investigations, and for her safety, she moved to France.”
I had a sense there was more to the story. “Were you involved with her?”
“I should have realized I couldn’t get anything past you.” With a nod, he exhaled a long breath and met my regard once more. “Not at first, no, we weren’t involved with each other. However, somewhere along the way, we fell in love. Well,Ifell in love.”
“She didn’t feel the same way?”
“On the contrary. However, things were complicated—still are. I thought I could move on with my life, but...” He shrugged.
My own shame came to the forefront, I had rejected him also. “What happened with us isn’t the same. I beg you to forgive me if I made unwitting promises.”
“You didn’t do anything untoward. You were simply being yourself, and I admire you.” Ash’s smile turned sheepish. “You are also a widow—”
“—So you assumed I would capitulate to your seduction,” I said the last in a whisper, staring at Moran’s door. Since becoming a faux widow, I had become quite bold in my speech. It was somewhat liberating to not have to skirt around an issue considered improper for an unmarried woman to discuss.
He traced his fingertip along the back of my hand, sending shivers up my spine. “Not assumed, hoped. There is a difference. We are two adults with a noticeable attraction between us. The natural order of things would be for things to progress.”
Common sense said to withdraw my hand. I kept it in place, the gentle caress cutting right to my core. The warmth in my cheeks increased at my boldness, along with other parts of me that needed to stay unaffected. “While I am flattered, that isn’t the case. I am still in love with my husband.”
“Love and lust rarely have anything to do with one another.” His tone turned intimate, testing my resolve. The air in the room thickened with awareness of the passion between us.
