Chapter Twenty-Nine
Lord Flynn, Earl of Larsson
I looked up from my desk at Larsson House to see Olivia entering the study. She was dressed for an outing, a fashionable bonnet covering her dark hair.
“Good morning,” I said. I came from behind my desk and reached for her. Since our engagement, I had stolen many kisses from her tempting lips. “I hope you slept well. I received the special license today, so we are on task to get married.”
“No, I’m afraid I didn’t sleep well.” Olivia stepped away from me, her cautious regard disconcerting. Alarm shot through me. She fiddled with the gloves in her hand, clearly upset. “I have an important question to ask you.”
Leaning my hips against the desk, I crossed my arms and nodded. I wasn’t sure what she was about to ask. By the seriousness of her face, she had reservations. My pulse began to pick up, fear riding my shoulders. “Go ahead.”
“Are you in love with Eleanor?”
Of all the questions she could ask, I was not expecting to hear that. I tightened my hands into fists and searched my mind for the correct way to answer. I wouldn’t disrespect Eleanor by admitting my deep and abiding love for her. After all, she was a married woman, and I didn’t want my feelings to reflect badly on her. “Of course I love her, she’s a very dear friend.”
“That’s not the question I asked you. Yesterday, when we were at her home, I saw how you looked at her and realized you were in love with her.”
“I’ve known Eleanor for ages, and yes, I was in love with her many years ago. That love has not changed, butlifehas changed all of us. She’s a married woman, and I have every intention to move on. I asked you to marry me because Iwantto marry you.”
“I understand you want to marry me for various reasons. You and I have also known each other for a long time. Although you are an annoying prat, I count you as a friend. And while I will admit your kisses make my toes curl, I can’t marry a man in love with another woman.” Olivia pressed her lips together.
“I can’t help the way I feel. I do want to marry you, otherwise I wouldn’t have asked.”
“Let’s be honest, the moment I told you about Australia, you decided to propose to me because you didn’t want me to leave. I have wanted you to marry me for years, and while I know it’s not proper for a woman to propose to a man, in this world, sometimes a woman has to take the reins. Yet every time I hinted that I wanted to marry you, you ran away.”
I valued her too much to lie to her. “I won’t deny anything you have said. In my own defense, I was newly widowed and had been married for over twenty years, therefore I had things I wanted to do before committing to another person.”
A sad smile curving her mouth, she nodded. Shoulders back, she seemed to make up her mind. “I know for many women that would be good enough but it is not good enough for me. Therefore, I’ve decided not to marry you. I love you, Flynn, and maybe in the future, if you could overcome your love for Eleanor, you and I might have an opportunity to find happiness together. Your brother lovedmeand nobody else. Can you understand why I want that again?”
My heart hurt for reasons other than disappointment. “I understand completely. I am sorry, Olivia. I never wanted to hurt you.”
“I have decided to leave for Australia and don’t want the girls to know. Would you please tell them after I’ve gone? Nigel knows I will be visiting a friend.” She dabbed at the corner of her eyes with her glove, seemingly unaware her handkerchief was in her other hand. “I plan to leave on the morning’s tide, and it will be too difficult to say goodbye.”
I reached for her and drew her into my arms, holding her close to my chest. “Goodbye is never easy, and saying goodbye to you will not be easy for any of us. I am sorry things turned out this way. You know my house is always open to you should you choose to come back.”
She stepped back and offered a wavering smile. “Yes, our future and our past are forever entwined. Best of luck to you, Flynn.” She turned on her heel and disappeared from the room.
I called for the butler and asked for my hat and coat, my hands shaking with nerves and my heart breaking with disappointment. Although I wasn’t in love with Olivia, I was looking forward to a new life with her, hoping to forget my unrequited love for Eleanor and Rex.
Smythington House was across the green from mine. Even our homes were close together, as if we were forever bonded in this life. I wouldn’t have it any other way and if the fates were with us, perhaps we could make it work between the three of us. Right now, I wanted to see Eleanor, the person I turned to whenever I was in turmoil.
Birds chirped a merry tune, each in direct contrast to my pain and suffering as I strode quickly down the path and cut across the green to save time. It was early thus several nursemaids were pushing their charges in prams. My own daughters were well past that stage. However, I had a sense Olivia’s leaving woulddevastate them. She had her own road to travel down, and I had mine.
The familiar painted steps at Smythington House were like a welcoming friend. I knocked on the door, desperate to see Eleanor. While rowing earlier, Rex told me that he had a full day scheduled at Parliament. By the monotone answers he’d given to every question I asked, he was avoiding Eleanor. I swallowed my frustration and released a heavy sigh. I could only push him so far.
The butler greeted me and stepped aside, taking my hat and coat. Per usual, music drifted down the hallway, haunting in its melody. It told me Eleanor was still not in a good place. From her chilly manner when I’d retrieved Olivia yesterday, she was still upset over the conservatory.
I strode the familiar hallway to the blue drawing room. Eleanor sat in her favorite nook, her back to the door, her violin resting under her chin. She stared into the garden, intent on her music. I watched her for long moments, drinking in the sight of her.
She paused, lowering the violin and making a note on the paper on the stand before her. I chose that moment to clear my throat, needing to inform her of my presence.
