“I have shed more tears today than in a lifetime.” With a wobbly smile, she dabbed at the corner of her eye. Her cheeks were flushed and the tip of her pert nose was a rosy hue. Although her face showed the ravages of crying, she never looked lovelier. “Do you have a handkerchief? I am afraid mine is quite sodden.”
I pulled mine out of my pocket and pressed it into her hand. “Of course.”
“Weddings are such joyous occasions.” She glanced at me from the corner of her eye, a calculating tone in her words.
“They are, yes.” I wasn’t falling for her bait. She was cagey, even in her emotional state.
“If you recall, I was invited to travel to Sydney for my cousin’s wedding.” She whipped out a fan and began gently waving it before her face. Her dark hair was displaced by the molded paper fan that had been hand-painted to resemble a peacock feather. “It is her second marriage, of course. I received a telegram from her inviting me to stay for an extended period at their family station, which, from what I can discern, is some kind of farm.”
A snort of disbelief left me before I could stop it. “You abhor the country.”
“My cousin tells me there are many eligible men in Sydney.” With a shrug, she paused the fan and covered the lower half of her face. Although I couldn’t see her mouth, I sensed her impish smile. “I look forward to finding out for myself.”
“It sounds like a grand adventure.” I tore my gaze from hers and focused on Eleanor. She said something to Rex, who turnedaround to look at me. He grinned, the sight sending a shooting need right to my cock. I lowered my regard, unable to look at him without recalling the feel of his cock in my hand or the taste of Eleanor on my lips.
“I am glad you feel that way.” Olivia laid her hand on my sleeve, her long fingers tipped with oval nails. Her touch forced me to look at her. The amusement had disappeared from her face. “I have already accepted her invitation and booked my travel.”
The panic I had kept at bay returned immediately. Chest tight, I willed myself to breathe. Why I was having this kind of reaction to her news flummoxed me. Olivia and I flirted and fought, our relationship tumultuous at times. Yet we had always been there for each other through good and bad. “When do you leave?”
“A week from Saturday.”
“The girls will miss you,” I said out of stiff lips, my voice more strained than I would have liked. Her words sounded like a death knell to my ears. Surely she wasn’t serious.
“I will miss them as well. With Nigel married, I am free to follow my own path.” Olivia closed her fan and inhaled, the navy bodice pushing her generous breasts high. She truly was a comely woman, but she wasn’t without complications.
A bell rang, drawing everyone’s attention to the front of the room. I was glad for the respite. My head was spinning, and I tried not to think about Olivia leaving. Everything was changing yet again, and I was powerless to stop it.
Inhaling a much-needed gulp of air, I focused on Rex, the one constant in my life. He stood next to Eleanor, wearing a closely fitting black coat that flattered his slender frame. Both were my lovers, and in their arms, I would find solace.
For one night. That was all Eleanor committed to and I had agreed. Then what? Meaningless affairs hadn’t filled the voidinside my chest since Mary died. Olivia offered me something more permanent, yet I balked at her terms. I stood rooted to the spot, unable to commit either way. I needed time to think, but that wasn’t possible. She was leaving, and I could either let her go or beg her to stay. I had little time to decide on my future happiness.
Chapter Nineteen
Lady Eleanor, Duchess of Smythington
“As you can see, this is where the classrooms are,” Headmaster Randell said, escorting my family through the hallowed halls of Knutchester.
A distinguished-looking gentleman with a decided paunch, I would say he was much older than me, but I had a feeling he was around the same age. One of the odd things about getting older was that I still felt as if I were nineteen. That ship sailed long ago. However, I refused to believe I was old, no matter what others thought.
Soaring dormer ceilings made up the great hall with stained glass windows letting in gentle light. The smell of wax and old wood permeated the air, along with a sense of expectancy. The facilities hadn’t changed from when Atticus attended. The tour was for Harry, not us. Because of our status as duke and duchess, Randell made it a point to be our escort. While I nodded at his explanations during our lengthy tour of the facilities, which included the sister school for girls, I tried to keep myself from giving in to the emotions that continued to well up inside me.
I never had the luxury of attending school as my family preferred I stay in their London home. My father didn’t believe in education for girls past the rudimentary skills of writing and reading, skills necessary for running the large household of a great house. My father was a marquess with royal blood, mymother was the daughter of an earl, and my parents had high aspirations for me, even when I was a young child. I managed to sneak books from the shelves of my father’s robust library and learned as much as I could. While I was denied an education, my poor brother was forced to study until the wee hours of the morning. I used to help him by doing his schoolwork so he could get some much-needed rest. I was fortunate enough to vacate the house once I married and leave a bad situation behind. My brother wasn’t so lucky.
When the twins were born, I promised myself that Anne would receive the same education as my sons. Instead of attending seminary, I hired the best tutors for her, and while she learned, I learned.
