“What I left out is the most important part. Just because you are a lady doesn’t mean you shouldn’t enjoy your relations with your husband.” It took me twenty years to realize that, and I didn’t wish that for my daughter. I blamed my mother to a certain extent, but I couldn’t put the entire blame on her. She had been under my father’s thumb, the same as my brother and me. I came to realize over the years that while my past was a factor in all of my decisions, ultimately, I had to determine whether I was doing the right thing. Inhaling a deep breath, I said, “What I am trying to say—and doing rather a poor job of it—is that bedding your husband can be very pleasurable for both of you. You needn’t say yes if you are uncomfortable with anything he suggests. However, I bid you to be adventurous when warranted, and don’t let antiquated ideas of a woman’s place in the marriage bed limit you. I assure you, your marriage will be the better for it.”
“That isn’t what you said before.” Scarlet faced, she nodded, her hands still in mine, squeezing.
“I was wrong.” While I couldn’t tell her how very wrong, I wanted to stress the importance to her. If I’d given her even a hint that I was having an affair involving her father and her husband’s uncle, she might be shocked. Well, more than shocked. I stifled a hysterical laugh.
“Nigel is very attentive,” she said, a smile tilting her mouth.
The comment was telling, and I wanted to ask for more specifics, but it was none of my affair now. In my ignorance, I naïvely assumed Anne wouldn’t explore her desires with the man she loved before she married when I, myself, had let Flynn take liberties with my person. She was marrying Nigel, andwould be his wife in less than an hour. My virginity was intact when I’d exchanged vows with Rex. Although that shouldn’t matter with Anne and Nigel since they were marrying, it was still jarring. There wasn’t much I could do about it now.
“Ladies, are we ready?” Rex entered the room, his green gaze shooting to Anne. Pride softened his features, and he looked at his daughter with infinitive love. “Oh my, don’t you look lovely.”
“Thank you, Papa.” Anne gave me one last hug before moving to her father’s side.
I also wanted to run into his arms, but remained where I was. This was about Anne, not me. Once the festivities were over, he and I would return to our bedroom and employ the skills we had learned with Flynn. I could hardly wait.
“It appears as if everyone is waiting on me.” With one last lingering smile, I exited the room and moved to my place near the dais. The vicar nodded to me. I rarely played in front of others except my family and close friends. The church was packed full of well-wishers. Anne had wanted a small wedding. With a large extended family, small was relative. Over one hundred people were in attendance.
I lifted the violin and began to play. Rex’s arm supported Anne as she all but danced down the aisle, her exuberance making those in the crowd laugh. My daughter was not a huge fan of dignity. She preferred to enjoy herself rather than yield to the staleness of society. Once she and Nigel stood together, I let the last strains of the music fade.
In the sanctuary, Olivia, Harry, Atticus, and Flynn occupied the main pew, along with my grandmother-in-law and my brother’s family. My mother had long since passed away, and although she had tried her best to protect me, we never had a close relationship. I wanted things to be different with Anne, and had succeeded thus far. A hand appeared, and I looked up to see Flynn offering me his assistance. I placed my hand in his,the spark flaring to life. Our time in the study flashed across my mind. Tomorrow, we would deliver Harry to school, and afterward, Rex and I would meet Flynn for our rendezvous.
Flynn smiled down at me and tucked my hand into his arm. The scent of his soap and the undertones of man drew me in, and I felt rather sinful having such thoughts in a church. Yet I couldn’t forget what lay beneath those clothes, at least the little I’d seen. Once we had our assignation at the Stratham, it would all change. Liquid heat flooded my folds, and I tried to keep myself grounded.
My daughter was getting married, and I was thinking lustful thoughts about the man next to me. He led me to the pew, and I sat down at the end. Rex was still standing with Nigel near Anne. Flynn squeezed past me, forcing Harry to move nearer to Olivia. My son was playing with his marbles, his attention on the shiny rocks and not on his sister’s wedding.
Flynn’s hand came to rest between us. I put all my attention on the vicar and nearly gasped when I felt Flynn’s fingertips skimming along my wrist. I cast him a warning glance. He continued to stare straight ahead. I looked around, afraid other people would notice. Everyone’s attention, including Olivia’s, was on the couple getting married. I, too, should be paying attention to my daughter’s most important day.
And yet, those words didn’t really sit well with me. Was it indeed her most important day? Would her life be defined by who she married and her title? She would be a countess because Nigel would inherit the title. He was already a viscount, having inherited Flynn’s lesser title.
The vicar dismissed Rex, and he moved to the pew. Flynn was forced to shift, and I scooted over to allow Rex to sit at the end. Sandwiched between the two men, my body seemed to have a mind of its own. My nipples puckered, and I continued to have a delicious throbbing sensation in my pussy that wouldn’t goaway. Soon enough, my needs would be slaked. I had promised Flynn one night. That was before our tryst in the study.
It was tempting to say yes to more. I was afraid it would become an addiction. However, I needed to stop putting restrictions on myself simply because my father had deemed me wild. The familiar resentment rushed through me, and I tried to erase the horrible man from my mind. If I wanted to have two lovers, that was my affair. I glanced at Rex, who stared straight ahead. The softness in his expression spoke of his great emotion.
The vicar asked Anne if she would take Nigel’s hand, and she said yes. My eyes teared up, and I accepted Rex’s hand as he slipped his fingers through mine. I leaned into him, uncaring who watched me. I might be upset with him at times, and he might not understand me, but he was trying. I depended on him in a way I’d never depended on anyone else. I loved him with my heart and my soul. We might have our differences yet love would never go away.
Nigel repeated his vows, and I heard Olivia’s soft sobs. I looked over at her and reached across Flynn and Harry to grasp her hand. She cast me a watery smile.
I snatched Harry’s marble bag from his hand and indicated he place his attention on the newly married couple. He rolled his eyes and did my silent bidding.
Anne and Nigel began to walk arm in arm from the dais. We all stood, my hand in Rex’s squeezing. Tomorrow, the new viscount and viscountess would set sail on a ship to Greece while Harry would be off to school. Once we returned to London, my musical aspirations would commence. For the first time in a long time, I looked forward to the future.
Chapter Eighteen
Lord Flynn, Earl of Larsson
