“No, we were talking about music, and he said he was on the board and I was gifted, but the academy was a place foryoungtalent.”
“Flynn is a prat. I wouldn’t listen to him,” Olivia said.
I shook my head, laughing through my tears. “He’s right. The opportunity was lost to me a long time ago.”
“It is never too late. You are a duchess. The conservatory would be thrilled to have someone who would contribute to their coffers.”
“I don’t wish to buy or influence my way in. If I am to be accepted, it will be on my merit or not at all.” I stiffened myshoulders and shook my head. Everything inside me rebelled at being given a position simply because I was a duchess.
“Fair enough. All is not lost. That is the good news I come bearing. I made a discreet inquiry with another board member, and she told me the conservatory holds open auditions on the last day of the enrollment period.”
A thrill of excitement coursed through me at the news, and my heart pounded. “That is today.”
A smile lit her entire face. “It is. If you are truly serious, you will come with me now.”
“Now?” I asked, panic screaming inside my head.
“Yes, now.” She squeezed my fingers, her lips turned up in an encouraging smile before she tugged at my hand, forcing me to stand. “I know your family wants to see you happy, and lately, you’ve been miserable. I think if you want to find what incentivizes your passions again, then you need to do this for yourself.”
The spark of hope flamed brighter in me, suppressing my panic.
“Before we leave, I want to assure you that you aren’t alone. As women, we are taught to be mothers and wives and not follow our passions. You are a very talented violinist and composer. I have heard your original works and they rival the greats. You have a rare gift to compose such beautiful music and from your own admission, it is your greatest passion outside your family.”
“My music is my salvation. I have always heard the musical notes in my mind, but a lady doesn’t play except for the benefit of others during musicals or gatherings.” My father’s words stayed implanted in my mind. Because of his rigid opinion on what traits a lady should have, I never experienced the kinds of passions Flynn and Rex ignited in me.
“Oh pish posh. Sometimes, you need to be selfish and put your needs first. Your family takes you for granted, and youmust stand up for yourself.” Olivia gripped my fingers. “Time is passing. We need to leave before someone else waylays you.”
While I agreed somewhat, I thought she was exaggerating a bit. My family did not take me for granted. Releasing her hand, I rushed to where I’d left my violin case and carefully laid the instrument in it. My title required me to do certain things to benefit the greater good. Hundreds of families depended on Rex, and he depended on my support on the home front. My pulse was beating so fast I was sure Olivia could see it racing. Doubts still weighed down my feet.
“Do you think I’m talented enough?” Flynn had told me I was one of the most gifted people he had ever heard. I assumed he had said that because he was my friend and he wanted to have an affair with me, which would have made his words self-serving. He hadn’t truly sounded like it was about him, he was complimentary of my music, and I respected his opinion.
“You are extremely brilliant. The only thing stopping you from pursuing this is yourself.”
Chapter Fifteen
Lord Flynn, Earl of Larsson
The music floated across the ballroom as I bowed to Olivia on the dance floor at Smythington House in Kent. Nigel and Anne would get married in the morning, and the house was full of well-wishers.
Eleanor was visiting with the dowager duchess, a woman of interminable age. She was deaf and liked to yell, but possessed a good nature. I hadn’t seen Eleanor or Rex in a week and every day had been torture. The memories of that night stayed with me, keeping my body in a heightened state.
“Flynn,” Olivia said, tapping me on the arm. I turned to look at her, confused, until I realized the rest of our set had begun the dance.
“I am sorry.” I twirled her to the movement of the dance, the soft fragrance of her lavender perfume drifting to my nose. With her dark hair styled in a becoming fashion and her brown eyes lit with curiosity, she created a fetching picture. I wished I could love her the way she deserved.
