Eli’s expression is so dumbfounded that I almost want to laugh. I take his hand in mine, forcing him to look at me. “It’s true, Eli. I love them. This is what I want. They are what I want.”
The guys look surprised but pleased to hear me use the L word.
Eli shakes his head in disbelief. “How can you want three men? That’s not normal. I don’t understand.”
“I know it’s unusual. But you can’t help who you fall in love with. I don’t need you to understand, but I need you to accept it.”
“We love your sister, too,” Ace says—Cash and Gage nod in agreement.
Eli looks like he’s just been through the spin cycle on the washing machine, but the fight goes out of him.
“Are you for real?” he says looking at the men and then at me.
I nod. “Yes. This is my decision.”
Eli sighs. “I’m not sure I’ll ever accept this. But I’ll try. I’ve failed you so many times, and you’ve always had better judgment than me, so I’ll trust that you know your heart.”
“Thank you,” I say, squeezing his hand.
There are still a lot of unspoken words, and I know the guys are still pissed. But hashing things out with Eli will have to come later. For now, they need to get to the clubhouse. We quickly explain what happened to Eli and why we need to stay home before the guys rush out, kissing me in turn before they go. Eli turns his face away, not wanting to look. I hope that in time,once he sees how happy they make me, he’ll come to accept our relationship.
The rumble of their motorcycles fades away, leaving Eli and me in awkward silence. Eli is the first to break it. “I need coffee,” he says wearily, heading to the kitchen.
I follow, but I give him time to make us both a cup so he can digest what just happened. Within a few minutes, he’s gone from believing a gang of bikers is using his sister for their sick sexual desires and that he was too afraid to stop it, to hearing that it was consensual group sex and that his baby sister has fallen for three older men. I can’t imagine the knowledge of my new, kinky sex life is something he ever wanted to have.
“It seems a lot happened while I was away,” he finally says, sipping his drink and looking at me.
“It did. I know you disapprove, and I know it’s unconventional, but we can’t help how we feel. I can’t help loving them all.” I look at him beseechingly, clutching my coffee mug with both hands.
Eli sighs. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
“They won’t hurt me,” I say confidently.
“You don’t know that. You can’t know what the future will hold. You’re too young and naive. I shouldn’t have brought you anywhere near this world. The Road Renegades have groomed you into thinking this is okay.” Eli gesticulates agitatedly.
“How dare you!” I spit out, seething. “You of all people know how fast I was forced to grow up when Mom and Dad died, that I’m not some stupid young kid who doesn’t know the way of the world or who can’t make up her own mind. Don’t you dare insult me like that again, or the men I love.” I curl my fingersinto fists, focusing on my breathing to try to calm down. I’ve never wanted to hit my brother more.
“I know, Mouse. I just feel like I’ve failed you, like I’ve failed Mom and Dad,” he says sadly, shoulders slumped in defeat.
“Look, Eli, I’m not going to pretend that you didn’t fuck up recently. But you haven’t failed Mom and Dad. You did your best with a shitty situation, and I turned out a hell of a lot better than I would have without you.” The fight goes out of me. No matter how much he antagonizes me, he’s still my brother. I’ll always love him. “I just need you to let me live my life now the way I want to, without judging me or thinking you’ve failed. I’m an adult; it’s time you trusted me to make my own decisions.”
“You’re right. I’m going to have to apologize to the guys, aren’t I?” he says with a grimace. “I threw out some pretty harsh accusations. I’m surprised they didn’t beat the shit out of me. Couldn’t you have fallen in love with some regular-sized dudes, ones I stand a chance of at least pretending that I’d kick their ass if they hurt you?” he adds with a wry smile.
I chuckle and gently punch his shoulder. “You don’t need to threaten them. And they wouldn’t hurt you for trying to be a good brother. They’re good men, Eli.”
Eli nods, accepting this. “I know, they seem to be good guys. I wonder why Dad didn’t join the Road Renegades instead of the Rusted Scythes.”
“I guess we’ll never know. I think I’ll ask the guys about it later, if they know anyone in the club who knew my dad. He must have had his reasons.”
“Yeah. I guess I need to stop worrying about people’s reasons and just accept their decisions since I can’t change them. Just promise me you’ll be careful, Mouse. I feel like the sister I knew is disappearing,” he says sadly.
“Not disappearing, just growing up, changing. Becoming a sexual goddess,” I tease, laughing at the face he pulls.
He holds up his hands. “Spare me the details. Hearing it was bad enough,” he says with a grimace.
“Now you know how it feels,” I laugh. There have been many times over the years when I’ve been forced to listen to Eli having sex. He might be nervous around women, but he still manages to get them into bed. “Speaking of your sexual exploits, you should steer well clear of Cherri,” I say as I explain everything to him.
He pulls a guilty face. “I guess I shouldn’t have invited her over for dinner then?”
