Present
Wasn't it ironic? It all started because I killed a man to avoid being raped, my sister fell into Antonio's hands because of it, and in the end, I was raped anyway. I wrapped my arms around my knees and rocked myself gently, becoming that sixteen-year-old girl again, alone in that cell, at the mercy of the freezing cold, the darkness, and the monsters.
Chapter 3
Sienna
"I don't understand why everyone respects her so much! She's a prostitute like us," a grumpy voice suddenly growled above me, pulling me out of my dream where I was doing interesting things with a certain Russian guy. I fluttered my eyelids, trying to regain my footing, my back and neck hurt as I frowned when the first thing I saw was packs of beer. I slowly turned my sore neck and noticed that I was behind the club bar.Damn, I had fallen asleep here. I had left the Ivanovs' house very early that morning so as not to run into anyone, especially not a blue-eyed Russian, and I didn't want to wake up the girls in the suite who had probably been working all night. So I decided to have a drink at the bar, yes, at six in the morning, but there was no wrong time to drink when everything is going wrong. My eyes fell on the bottle at my feet that I hadn't even opened. I had fallen asleep exhausted, which was not surprising since I hadn't slept a wink all night. "Maybe they're all afraid of her. I heard she strangled a woman with her bare hands in Vegas years ago," said a second voice, younger than the first one, as I tried to understand the subject of the conversation, already feeling a sense of doubt creeping in. "Pfff, I don't believe it for a second, that Stella is just pretending," retorted the second girl, confirming that I was indeed the subject of discussion.Great. I didn't recognize their voices; they were probably from the latest generation, and even though I knew all the girls by heart, given my jumbled thoughts, it was difficult to put names to voices. "They're all afraid of her because she's the Master's favorite. I'd like to know what she does to please him that's so special to get his favor," continued the grumpier of the two, and I was suddenly overcome with asudden urge to vomit. What was so special about me other than being unwilling? Nothing, and that's what that son of a bitch liked, getting what was forbidden to him, impossible.
"Or maybe she didn't choose to be in this situation and if she could, she would leave without a second thought, but she stays to protect and help ungrateful brats like you," Esme's voice suddenly echoed a little louder and the idiots gasped. "What are you doing here at this hour? New recruits aren't allowed out of their rooms before ten in the morning," she scolded them as her footsteps drew nearer. I glanced at my watch: half past nine.Damn, I'd slept on the floor for three hours. No wonder I had a stiff neck. "We... we just wanted something to drink," replied the calmer of the two, while the other remained silent. "And I'm telling you that you're not allowed to do that before ten o'clock. Maybe we should call Joana and let her decide," continued Esme, her voice now above me too. The girls didn't answer, while my friend scoffed. "If I catch you talking about Sienna again, if I catch you insulting her again, I promise I'll make your lives hell" Esme threatened them in a dark voice, and I rolled my eyes. My friend was the kindest and most understanding woman I knew, except when it came to the people she loved. "You should be bowing down at her feet just for the birth control pills you take every day. Do you think the Master gives them to you out of kindness, you idiots?" she spat, getting angrier and angrier, and I grimaced. "No, he preferred much less expensive and radical methods. It's thanks to Sienna that you still have hope for the future, hope that we no longer have..." "Esme, enough," I groaned, clinging to the bar to pull myself up, whimpering as my muscles protested. "Sienna?" asked my friend, dressed in leggings, a light sweater, and slippers, her eyes wide as she looked at me. The frightened expressions on the faces of the two young girls, whom I now recognized, made me sigh. "Go back to your room, use the stairs. Joana is up at this hour for her miraclemorning routine or some crap like that. You don't want to run into her in the elevator, do you?" I said, jumping nimbly over the counter despite my aching muscles, which made them jump. They scurried off down the hallway leading to the stairs without hesitation under Esme's dark gaze, as I gently tapped her arm. "Stop it, they're still young," I tried to calm her down, dusting off my pants before grabbing my bag that I had left on the counter. "No younger than you were," she said suddenly, looking at me with a gaze expressing her anger and despair, while I smiled at her. "And I was much worse than them, if you remember".
"I just can't stand it when people put you down like that after everything you've been through and done for us, and continue to do," she retorted as I shook my head and headed for the hallway. "I'm not just doing this for you, but for myself too," I replied as she followed me, her footsteps telling me she was unhappy. "You know what upsets me even more than those idiots who put you down? It's you! Putting yourself down!" she lectured me as we reached the floor of our rooms, walking down the corridor where a few Shadows on duty watched us pass. "I'm not in the mood for this, Esme," I sighed as I entered the suite reserved for our group. "You look awful," exclaimed Ava from behind the counter, where she was probably preparing a peach smoothie, which she loved. I gave her the finger as I collapsed onto the sofa in the sitting area, Esme following close behind, now looking worried. "So? Did you finally do it with the Russian? Foreplay is fine, but you have to take it to the next level after a while," Ava continued. "We'll never take things to the next level because I told him I wanted to stop," I said, feeling my heart tighten as I remembered the way Sasha had looked at me, his eyes clear blue but his gaze so dark. Esme stared at me in surprise as Ava looked up at me with wide eyes. "What?!" they exclaimed in unison as Diane appeared from the hallway leading to our rooms. Half of her black hair was pinned up and the other half fell in prettycurls against her shoulder. Her makeup wasn't finished yet, and I realized she was probably getting ready for tonight. The three of them looked at me terrified, as if I had just announced that I had sacrificed a newborn for eternal youth. "I told him I didn't want to continue," I repeated, dropping my head back against the headrest, trying to chase away the image of the Russian man that haunted me. "But why? You two would be so good together! Just like your sister and his brother!" insisted Ava, approaching me as the others agreed and began to add their two cents, starting an impossible hubbub. "He deserves better," I finally whispered, and a deep silence suddenly fell over the room. No one dared say anything as I sighed softly. I lifted my head and looked at them one by one, my confidantes, my companions, my sisters, that's what they were, because we were the same, because we had survived together, because we had gone through ups and downs together, because we had survived the same hell together.
"He deserves better than this," I said, pointing at myself with my thumb while trying to smile, but it must have looked more like a grimace. "Better than me," I added, closing my eyes. It was so painful just to think it, so saying it out loud was like ripping my heart out with my own hands.Torture. I felt tears welling up, my lips trembling as my throat tightened. I had cried all night and fled the house early that morning so no one could see me like this. Wasn't that enough?! Why did I have to keep suffering like this?! Tears escaped from behind my hands, which I pressed against my eyes, and suddenly I felt arms close around me. The scent of roses filled my nostrils as Esme pulled my face against her chest. The first sob escaped my lips, which I tried to keep sealed, but it was no use. Other arms encircled me as I began to cry hot tears, my body shaking with sobs as I cried with a broken voice. My sisters said nothing, they just held me close. After all, what could they say? They knew I was right, they knew it. Aftera few minutes of crying like a baby, lamenting my fate that I had brought upon myself by approaching that damn Russian, I finally shook my head and gently pushed the others away. "Enough," I sniffed, wiping my cheeks.
"Where's Ines?" I asked, noticing the absence of one of our friends who spent her mornings in our room. Esme was giving her Spanish lessons. "There's a new girl, she's been locked up for almost five days now. Madam Joana says she'll crack eventually, but I doubt it, she's got a real... personality," Ava informed me. "Ines has been trying to talk to her since last night, but it's no use," she continued, returning behind the counter. "At this rate, she'll beat your record," sighed Esme, picking up a book while my gaze remained fixed on the floor.Five days already. "How old is she?" I asked, getting up to retrieve my bag, which I had left on the table at the entrance to the suite that had been reserved for us for several months now. The Halo was a large organization with considerable resources, led by Vassili Kosnetzov, one of the great families that made up the Bratva, and a member of the Council. Vassili was responsible for prostitution in the Bratva and had used his power and knowledge to create a parallel business to that of the Bratva. He had built a huge network brick by brick, a huge network that stretched across borders and oceans. The young women, sometimes girls, whom he captured and then trained to be perfect spies so that they could gather as much information as possible from the influential men with whom they were forced to sleep. Vassili then used his information to blackmail people into giving him whatever he wanted, which allowed him to expand The Halo even further. So I wasn't just a prostitute, but also a spy, not the kind who climbs a fifteen-story building or fights like a ninja, but rather the kind who manipulates with words and gestures to get all the information I want.
Before California, we worked in a club in Las Vegas, then in Florida, a little while in Argentina, and even Moscow. At least we got to see the sights and not just sausages. I grimaced at the thought.Damn it!"Seventeen," Esme replied, glancing at me awkwardly over her book. Yes, she knew I hated it when we took underage girls, girls who sometimes had no knowledge of sex. "Hurry up, Joana will be back from her run soon!" Diane warned me as I left the suite, closing the door behind me. I walked along the corridor, greeting the many Shadows on duty who were smoking or chatting, their attention fixed on the closed doors behind which their Stars were working. My gaze lingered for a moment on the elevator before I headed for the stairs. Being locked in a dark cell for over a week had quickly dampened my enthusiasm for confined spaces. I hurried down the stairs, my sneakers pounding the floor, and arrived on the ground floor. The club had four levels: on the ground floor were the club and the restaurant; on the first floor were the Shadow suites and a gym; on the second floor were the Star suites and the work rooms, all connected to the same corridor leading to an inner courtyard, as was the last floor consisting of the VIP rooms.
"Stella!" Raoul, one of the club's agents, called out to me as I walked past the cafeteria. "Come to the cafeteria, Marta has made lemon pie!" he informed me, pointing to the kitchen with his broom. They were cleaning up last night's mess with other staff members. In a few hours, the club would reopen and it would be back to business as usual, "I won't miss it!" I replied, waving to him as I headed for the stairs leading to the basement. I suppressed a shiver as a familiar chill crept into my limbs. I tightened my grip on the railing as the steps decreased, as I approached the basement and the cold, memories coming back, screams echoing. I arrived in a long hallway with several doors, cell doors. "Sienna!" exclaimed Ines when she saw me. She got up from where she was sitting on the floor and hugged me."You look sick," she said, studying me with her big hazel eyes. "I'm fine, just didn't sleep well," I replied, walking past her and stopping in front of the cell door where she had been sitting a moment ago. The small opening in the door let in the light from the hallway, and I frowned as I tried to make out the body lying on the floor. "She hasn't moved in twelve hours. If she keeps this up, she'll starve to death," said Ines, stopping beside me. "First she'll die of thirst," I replied simply, stepping back and rummaging through my purse until I finally pulled out a key. "I still don't know how you managed to get a spare set of these keys! Joana is so thoughtful," she asked me as I unlocked the door. "Believe me, thoughtfulness doesn't stand a chance against a good old bottle of vodka," I replied, opening the creaking door and entering, ignoring the visceral fear that gripped me. The cells were all the same: black, cold, lonely. Whether in Seattle, Las Vegas, or California. I knelt in front of the girl's frail body and pushed back the dirty blonde strands of hair that covered her dust-covered face. Her eyes were open but empty. It was a look I knew all too well. How many times had I looked in the mirror and seen that look? Hundreds? Thousands?
"What's your name?" I asked her, but she didn't answer. She didn't even react. "My name is Sienna, but they call me Stella here," I told her to reassure her and get her to confide in me. "They could have come up with something more original, don't you think?" Still nothing. I sighed and searched my bag again to take out my water bottle. "Would you like some water?" I asked, shaking it above her face. Her blue eyes slowly slid toward the bottle, finally, a reaction. She had blue eyes, just likehim. I pressed my lips together as I opened my water bottle and held it out to her, but she didn't move. "Drink while you have the chance. When Joana comes back, who knows how long she'll keep you here," I tried to convince her. She glanced at me and I nodded to encourage her. She finally pushed herself up withher hands and, struggling to get up, sat down on her bottom and took the water bottle with her trembling, dirty, and injured hands. She gulped down the contents of the water bottle, quickly emptying it, and handed it back to me, carefully avoiding my gaze. "Joana won't let you out of here until you obey her," I said, putting my bottle back in my bag. "Don't force yourself..." "Cecilia," she suddenly whispered, her girlish voice filling the cell. She slowly raised her face, her blue eyes remaining averted. "My name is Cecilia," she repeated. I said nothing, just watched her as her arms wrapped around her legs, which she pulled up against her chest. I sighed and sat down on my butt too in front of her. "Listen, Cecilia, I know you're scared, that... you feel alone," I said firmly, I couldn't show my emotions; she had to understand that emotions were a weakness here. The worst kind. "Do you know why? Because I was in your shoes years ago. I know how you feel, what you're thinking. But there's nothing you can do about it. You're in the lair of monsters now." I glanced at Ines, who had stayed at the door to make sure no one was coming. The absence of surveillance cameras worked greatly in our favor. They hadn't seen the point in installing them since few women resisted and ended up locked up in this hole.
"I wasn't given a choice back then. They forced me to become a monster like them," I sighed, bending my knee to rest my elbow on it. "But you, Cecilia, I'm going to give you a choice," I continued, taking two things out of my bag: a lipstick and a vial. "Either you obey and become a monster like us to get a chance at revenge against the people who put you in this situation," I handed her the lipstick. "Or you choose not to obey and you die because that's the only way out of this hell. It's poison," I handed her the vial containing a red liquid. Her eyes finally met mine, but they remained empty, as if she couldn't see me, as if nothing was worth her interest anymore. She slowly raised her dirty, bloodstained hand, worn out from banging on the cell door forhours, days, begging to be released. My jaw clenched as she grabbed the vial with her trembling hand, her body shaking from the cold but mostly from fear. I nodded slowly. Cecilia had made her choice, and it was time for me to make mine.
—
The brush slid through her hair as if it were made of silk, a silk as black as a night sky.
“Do you think I could have a second dessert at breakfast tomorrow?” Valentina asked as I began braiding her hair. We had been lucky enough to shower first after classes, so we had taken the opportunity to have a little pajama party in the room before the others arrived.
“I don’t know… it’ll depend on what’s left after service,” I replied, finishing the braid and tying it off as she turned toward me, her dark eyes plunging into mine.
“Olga likes you, I’m sure if you ask her she’ll give you more,” she insisted, and I smiled.
She was still just a child. A child, despite where we were, despite everything we were living through. And I was determined to do everything I could to make sure she stayed one.
“I’ll try, I promise,” I said, kissing her cheek as she nestled against me.
“Sienna?” she murmured, my hand stroking the top of her head. “Hmm?” I answered softly, closing my eyes as I gently rocked us from side to side. “When we’re free from here… can I live with you?” she asked suddenly. I froze at her words and pulled back slightly as she lifted her face toward mine. “I don’t have a home. My mom died a long time ago, and my dad… he doesn’t love me. He sold me. I don’t have anyone else but you,” she went on, her voice trembling as my heart broke. “Oh, Val, angelo mio…” I whispered as her teary eyes searched mine. “Please, Sienna, I don’t want to be alone,” she sobbed suddenly.
I shook my head and cupped her round little face in my hands as tears slid down her cheeks. “Never. You will never be alone, I promise you,” I said firmly. “Promise?” she asked with trembling lips. I nodded, resting my forehead against hers. “Promise.”
—
“Enna” I woke slowly, blinking as I straightened in my seat when the car came to a stop. I sighed softly, running a hand over my face, trying to chase away the memories that slipped even into my sleep. The torture never stopped, not even in dreams. “You’re getting more and more creative with your meeting places,” I said, looking at the stone bridge in the middle of the forest. Huge trees surrounded us, birds singing somewhere above. I glanced to the other side of the bridge where a black car was parked. “You know Ganesh, he likes everything about nature,” Kenji replied, cutting the engine.
He was right. The last time we had met him, he’d been camping in the mountains; before that, in an aquarium while feeding sharks. Honestly, that man…
“So, do you have any ideas to get the two girls out?” he asked, opening his door without getting out. “Three,” I replied tightly, looking away as I unbuckled. He turned toward me,“Sienna…” “She’s only seventeen. Her name is Cecilia, and she’s so fragile, Kenji. And she’d rather die than…” I began but he cuts me off, suddenly grabbing the back of my neck and pulling me toward him until our faces are almost touching. “I don’t give a damn, Enna! I don’t care who, what, where, or how!” he snapped, eyes dark, “I’m not letting you die trying to save them. You can’t save them all, damn it!”
His jaw was tight, his features drawn with anger and fear. I took it all in, his anger, his worry. I endured it, because I knew hemeant well. He wanted to protect me. “I know,” I whispered, gently removing his hand from my neck. “But her, I can save her. I have to, Kenji. And nothing will happen to me. Not as long as you’re here, not as long as Ganesh is here. And I can defend myself too” I tried to reassure him. But he only shook his head before getting out of the car and slamming the door, heading for the trunk. I sighed and stepped out as well, closing the door behind me with a tired motion. I was exhausted, truly exhausted. My mind never stopped, day or night. Memories haunted me more and more, and I slept less and less. For months now. Three months, to be true. I grimaced, pushing the thought away. No. That path had no end, at least, no happy one.
Thank God it wasn’t the same for my sister and my nephew. Selina and Rafael were safe now, happy, and I no longer had to worry about them, though I still watched over them constantly. Nikolai was a good man, but my trust had become something painfully difficult to give.
Something suddenly draped over my shoulders. I tightened the scarf Kenji had just placed there, “it’s cooler in the forest,” he said, handing me the box where I had packed the gulab jamun I’d made earlier, Ganesh’s favorites, especially the rose-flavored ones.
Kenji and Ganesh were among the very few men I trusted blindly. A trust forged through unimaginable trials, for all of us. I smiled as I took the lollipop he pulled from the inside pocket of his jacket. It was something he always did, offering sweets. He carried an entire stash in his glove compartment and always had a few on him.
