I held my ground as he shook his head with a sigh and stepped back, defeated by my stubbornness.
“Sienna, the boys didn’t mean to disrespect anyone. They just want to protect your sister and you,” Elif suddenly said as she stepped closer. “Like Kenji,” she added, resting her hand on my shoulder. “Elif is right. What matters most right now is your safety,” Grigori confirmed and Kenji took my trembling hands in his. “Knowing you’re here, I’ll be able to investigate properly on my side,” he murmured with a knowing look and I pressed my lips together, feeling the heavy gaze of my sister on my back. “The girls…” I whispered and he nodded, “I know. I’ll take care of it” I finally sighed, squeezing his hands as I gave in, trusting him completely.
My sister let out a breath of relief as I turned to look at her. She smiled softly at her husband, and I hated myself. I hated myself for putting her in this position. I hated myself for alwaysdragging the people I loved into difficult situations, forcing them to sacrifice themselves for me, to suffer because of me. Even just knowing they worried about me was unbearable. Maybe things would be easier if I disappeared once and for all… “Enna!” Kenji’s voice thundered and suddenly, someone grabbed my arm and yanked me sharply. I stumbled and found myself gripping Sasha’s shirt to keep my balance, my eyes widening as I met his. “What are you doing?” I breathed, disoriented, as his gaze scanned my face. “Your face just now…” he began, and the despair I saw in his eyes shook me. My face ? “Sasha,” Nikolai called as Selina stepped closer, rubbing her belly anxiously.
“I’m going to walk Kenji out. I’ll be right back,” I said, gently freeing myself from Sasha’s grip before kissing my sister’s cheek. My Shadow let me go first before falling into step behind me and we left the villa under everyone’s watchful eyes.
—
I let out a long sigh, shoving my clammy hands into my jacket pockets as we stepped into the cool night air. I needed to calm down, I wasn’t the kind to lose control like this. It was dangerous. “Start by looking into the Mother,” I said once we were far enough that no one could overhear us as we reached the car. “Working with the Italians would be far too risky for it to be the Master.” Kenji nodded and cast one last glance toward the villa as he opened the driver’s door but he stopped, his gaze landing on me. I saw his jaw tighten. “What?” I asked, raising an eyebrow, he didn’t answer, just stared at me a moment longer before slamming the door shut and coming back toward me. “You’ve always been good at lying, Enna,” he said darkly. “But do you know who you manipulate best?” I looked at him, confused. He was angry, why? “What?” I asked, lost. “Yourself,” he replied, ignoring me as he grabbed my shoulders and turned me toward the villa. “Look,” he said and my gaze landed on Sasha, standingat the top of the steps, watching us. I knew it. I’d predicted it. Once he had me in his sights, he wouldn’t let go, he was making sure I didn’t run.Asshole.
I tried to turn back to my Shadow, confused, when my sister stepped outside, Nikolai’s jacket over her shoulders, her husband glued to her side. Then Elif came out, scolding Roman as he tried to light a cigarette. Finally, Grigori appeared, staying back, observing from afar like the alpha of the pack he was. “I don’t understand,” I murmured as a strange feeling seized me. “You do understand, Sienna,” my Shadow continued. “You understand that the people you need most are standing right in front of you. You understand who they are, what this place is, that this is your last chance. And you’re afraid.” My gaze darted between the faces that had become so familiar to me. Kenji turned me back toward him, his hand sliding to my cheek as the streetlight illuminated his dark features. “And dying wouldn’t solve anything. It wouldn’t help anyone” my eyes widened at his words as his thumb brushed my cheekbone. He leaned in, his breath warm against my ear, “I won’t let you do it, Sienna. As long as I’m alive, you won’t die, not even by your own hand” he whispered and stepped back, I stared at him, breathless. I’d only had that thought for a split second, how had he known?
“Your mask slips when you feel safe, Enna,” my Shadow pointed out, “and I wasn’t the only one who saw it.”Sasha. He’d mentioned my expression, that was what he’d meant. Had he understood my dark thoughts? “I will always be your Shadow,” Kenji murmured in his native language before kissing my forehead and stepping back into the car. He drove off, and I watched him disappear, his absence already leaving me feeling alone. I hoped everything would go well at the club. I needed to recharge my phone so I could call the girls and Ganesh. I had to warn him about the Italians, even though I was sure Kenji was already doing it.
Suddenly, another shadow appeared beside mine. I lifted my face and fixed my gaze on Sasha’s profile as he watched Kenji’s headlights fade into the distance. He stood rigidly at my side, straight, his arms crossed over his chest, his jaw clenched, the same jaw I had hit. Again. I glanced toward the entrance and saw that everyone had gone back inside, no doubt reassured now that my only means of escape had disappeared. I had the distinct feeling that cohabitation was about to take on a very different shape. I sighed and crossed my arms over my chest. Come on, a little courage. “I’m…” “Listen…”
We looked at each other, having spoken at the same time. His gaze slid over every feature of my face, his chest rising as he took a deep breath. “I’m sorry if you felt insulted by our behavior,” he said without breaking eye contact and I liked that. I liked the way he acknowledged when he was wrong. I liked that he apologized without letting his ego stand in the way.
I simply nodded, moistening my lips, and his gaze followed the movement. That single gesture was enough to turn my blood into lava, I swallowed. “And I’m sorry for the punch. It was a rough night,” I apologized, my eyes drifting to his reddened jaw before I grimaced. I hadn’t missed. A smirk tugged at his lips before he turned back toward the driveway, his hands slipping into his pockets. “It’s fine. I’m starting to get used to it,” he said and a slow smile spread across my face. I turned as well, facing the driveway, crossing my arms over my chest. “Yeah. Me too. I’m starting to get used to it… and to appreciate it,” I replied with a slight pout.
I felt his gaze on my profile but ignored it, focusing instead on our surroundings. The courtyard and the driveway were illuminated by elegant streetlamps, undoubtedly Elif’s choice. She really did have impeccable taste. A light breeze brushed against my neck, and I savored it, lifting my face toward the sky. When you spend too long deprived of certain things, even themost basic sensations become precious, like a breeze, a flower, or the presence of another human being.
I cast quick glances at Sasha as the sounds of crickets and rustling leaves filled the air around us. He stared into the distance just as I did, his face revealing no emotion, though I could see his jaw tightening. Better not tempt fate. “We should go inside. The others are waiting for us to eat,” I said, turning toward the villa when suddenly his arm wrapped around my waist, his hand sliding into my hair, his fingers gripping my nape and his lips found mine. He had moved so fast! I didn’t have time to protest. Neither did my body, as if it knew he was exactly where he belonged, as if he feared nothing. I froze, eyes wide open, while his were closed, his face relaxed, his chest rising and falling softly against mine. My hands came to rest on his muscular ribs. He had a V-shaped torso that did very interesting things to my libido. Everything about him did, really, from his body to the way he spoke, from his eyes to his smile.Everything.
His warmth wrapped around me, his presence filling every empty space within me, within my heart. It felt like pressing your hands against a radiator after playing in the snow all day as a child. It burned. It consumed. After the fear, the stress of the night, the cold I’d felt with that gun pointed at me, he warmed me. He burned me. And I wanted more.
Sasha pulled back slightly, locking his gaze with mine as I still hadn’t moved an inch, too stunned by his gesture. I would never have thought he’d dare kiss me after everything I’d said at the wedding and after the punch. I’d thought my hatred would be enough to push him away.
This… this was completely unexpected. “You could have died tonight, Sienna,” he murmured. And I noticed then that he was trembling, his hand at the nape of my neck was cold, shaking. Sasha was never cold. This was the first time I’d ever felt his skin icy against mine, “Sasha,” I breathed, but he was already shakinghis head. “You could have died tonight and I wouldn’t even have known,” he continued, his eyes studying every inch of my face. His pupils quivered. The despair in his gaze stole my breath. “You could have died alone without me knowing. Without me feeling it,” he groaned, jaw clenched.
I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to reassure him, how to warm him, “I… I wasn’t alone,” I tried to reassure him. “I was with friends, and Kenji…” he cut me off, his lips crashing against mine again. This time, my eyes closed, and I kissed him back, rising onto my toes. I felt as though my body was waking up, as though I was finding my bearings again. Finding myself. The real me.
“I missed you,” he breathed suddenly as he pulled back slightly, his lips brushing mine. My heart skipped a beat. My mind trembled as I pressed my lips together.You too.The words echoed in my head, in my mind, in my heart, but not from my mouth. Not from my lips. I held them back. I locked them away. I hid them. Because they were true. And truths, I hid those. Because they made me vulnerable.Weak. And I didn’t want to be that in front of him. I… I couldn’t. I just couldn’t.
My heart fluttered when I saw his lips quivered into a discreet smile, “I see,” he murmured, his thumb brushing my jaw in a gentle stroke, and it felt as though he were caressing my heart itself. “What do you see?” I asked softly, my hands still resting against his warm body, “I see…” his grip tightened around my waist, pulling me closer, and I bit back a moan as I felt his erection press against my stomach. “That your eyes and your mouth don’t tell the same story,rodnaya,”(darling) he sighed. The new nickname made me shiver. “Neither your hatred last time nor your silence now reflects what your eyes reveal,” he continued, his blue gaze magnetized to my face, his nose brushing against mine as he breathed me in, my skin, mywarmth, my scent. I closed my eyes, the truth in his words cutting too deep. The way he could read me so effortlessly was unfamiliar, unsettling. It proved that Kenji was right, that I lowered my guard where I felt safe, with him and that terrified me. I didn’t want to get hurt again, especially not by him. If that happened, I wouldn’t get back up. Not this time. “Sasha…” I breathed, shaking my head slightly, my fingers clutching his shirt, “Sienna,” he replied, and I opened my eyes to meet his again. I said nothing, simply held his gaze, my jaw tight. I felt stripped bare beneath his eyes, he wasn’t just reading my emotions, he was reading my thoughts. It felt as though he was becoming like Kenji, knowing me far too well.
He finally closed his eyes and sighed before straightening and releasing me. “Speaking of the wedding… I’m sorry about the CGM,” he said at last, sliding his hands into the pockets of his tailored trousers, “I shouldn’t have done that. And I shouldn’t have used Selina that way either” he lowered his gaze to the ground, nudging a small stone with his shoe like a guilty child.
My fingers tingled with the urge to touch him, to feel his skin. The cold that seized me when he stepped back crept into my veins like poison. It was hard to understand, impossible to explain, but that single step away, that distance he put between us, left me more alone than I had ever been. Not in that cell nine years ago. Not when I searched for my sister all those years. Not even when Kenji, the person closest to me, wasn’t by my side.
I sighed softly and crossed my arms over my chest, a precaution to restrain any foolish impulse my body might attempt in front of the specimen standing before me. “Yes, you shouldn’t have,” I said quietly as he slowly lifted his head, his gaze locking onto mine.
“I forgive you, Sasha”. Who was I not to forgive him, after all? The watch I had given Kenji contained a tracker. So did thebracelets my friends wore. I was hardly in a position to judge him for that.
He looked at me suspiciously, clearly doubting my sincerity, but something in my face, something in my eyes, seemed to convince him. He nodded and turned slightly away, the muscles of his neck tightening. The sudden instinct to leave my mark there with my teeth caught me off guard.Stupid hormones.
I nodded as well and turned toward the entrance, ready to join the others, when suddenly his long fingers, now warm closed around my wrist.
“You don’t need anyone to exist, Sienna,” he said, stopping me I looked at him over my shoulder. He was referring to what I’d said earlier. “But I hope I’ll earn your trust one day,” he continued. “So that I can become someone in your life. So that I can at least exist in your world.” He lifted my hand to his mouth and pressed a kiss to my knuckles, those same knuckles that had reddened after the punch I’d thrown him in the dining room.
My breath caught in my throat as he stepped closer, his fingers still wrapped around my wrist, gently tugging until I faced him fully. His other hand rose to my face, his thumb brushing my injured lower lip before sliding upward to my forehead, tracing the bridge of my nose. Then he began rubbing a specific spot gently for a few seconds, his brows furrowed, before leaning in to brush his lips against the reddened skin. “Let’s go inside,” he finally said, tugging me softly along with him as I tried to understand his gesture, tried to understand him.
Chapter 11
Somewhere in New York City
Alia Rasili stared at the woman’s face through her screen. It had been almost three months now since they had been in contact, and still there had been no progress on their plan. “Your men screwed up, Alia, even though I gave you the exact route they were taking that day,” the woman on the other end of the call shouted. “They should have attacked as soon as they left the shopping center and finished off both sisters,” she continued, while Alia slowly shook her head. “The security was too tight for the attack to succeed,” she countered calmly, memories of her meeting with the remaining men flooding back. Giuliano, the one who had led the operation and had nearly put a bullet between that whore Sienna’s eyes, had given her his report. Sienna could have been history if only those men hadn’t shown up. “You’re saying those men are their Shadows?” Alia asked, leaning closer to the screen as she gradually processed everything the woman was telling her. “Yes. Their duty is to protect the Stars,” the woman sighed, and Alia could clearly see behind her dark gaze not only disgust, but burning anger.
