I stopped again as Sienna knelt in front of me before standing up and turning toward me to drop the shells she had just collected into my shirt, which we were using as a makeshift bag to gather as many as possible. She wanted to place them somewhere more accessible on the beach so the children could find them more easily tomorrow. “Look how pretty this one is,” she said, lifting one of the shells in front of my eyes with a wide smile and I couldn’t take my eyes off that smile. It was beautiful. “Very pretty,” I replied. She raised an eyebrow, then pouted, which made me smile in return.“I’m serious. Take me seriously,” she said, placing the shell with the others before turning away. I caught her by the waist, spun her back toward me, and pulled her close before crashing my lips into hers, she moaned softly, her hands resting against my chest as I held our treasure against my stomach. She responded instantly to my kiss, her hands sliding up my torso and neck to cling to my nape as she rose onto her toes to deepen it.“You’re beautiful, Angel,” I said as the moonlight made her porcelain skin glow. She slowly opened her eyes, shining with a softness that made my heart stumble every time. “And you’re quite the flirt,” she murmured, her lips brushing mine. “Only with you,” I whispered, stealing another kiss, which made her smile before her gaze drifted to the waves and then settled on the full moon shining above our heads.
Suddenly, she gathered all the shells I was holding in the folds of my shirt and placed them inside the straw hat she had abandoned a little farther away. Then she came back to me, resting her hands on my shoulders. “Let’s dance,” she ordered and I obeyed without hesitation, a slow smile spreading across my lips as my hands settled on her hips. We began to sway gently to the sound of the waves, the breeze lifting her shining hair and carrying her scent to me, her warmth wrapping around mine.
I lifted her off the ground and spun her around, making her laugh. She tilted her face up toward the sky, arms outstretched, eyes closed and it was the most beautiful sight I had ever been given to see. She looked like a goddess. No, she was a goddess.Mine.
Suddenly my foot slipped, and I pulled her against me before we both toppled backward, her body landing against my chest as I fell onto my back, I groaned as I hit the sand and she gasped. She lifted her face from my chest as I lowered mine, worried. Her wide eyes met mine and then she burst out laughing, and so did I. That sound. That damn contagious sound, I could listen to it over and over again.
We eventually calmed down, and she rested her head against my chest as I began to stroke her hair. I had never felt like this before, so peaceful, so free, so… happy. Not since my parents’ death. Sienna gave me something I couldn’t quite name, but she helped me find balance. My life made more sense when she was near me. Everything made more sense. “Sasha,” she murmured against my chest as my arm tightened around her waist. “Hmmm.”
“I need to tell you something,” she breathed, her fingers stopping their caress on my stomach. I frowned slightly and lifted my head from the sand to look at her, but her gaze was fixed on the distance, her cheek pressed against my shirt. Iremoved my hand from her hair and gently lifted her face toward mine, holding her chin.
“What is it, Angel?” I asked, my eyes searching every feature for a sign of trouble but nothing showed. She lightly bit her lips, still swollen from our kiss, her gaze locked on mine, “Sasha…” her words dissolved into silence when we heard the others’ laughter approaching, they must have put the children to bed. “We’ll talk about it later,” she whispered, standing up before turning back to resume her shell hunt, as Elif and Roman joined me to see what we had collected.
Present
“You are beautiful,” I murmured to her as my hands slowly slid up and down from her hips to her waist. “Thank you,” she swallowed, turning her gaze away, and I restrained myself from clenching my jaw. We were light-years away from that beach in the Philippines. I was light-years away from my Sienna, from my Angel, from the one who laughed freely, from the one who looked at me with shining eyes, from the one who burst into laughter by my side. But I wasn’t going to let go. I wasn’t going to let her go. I was a patient man and above all, a stubborn one. Sienna and I were inevitable, and my mouth betrayed me before I could think. “When are we getting married?” I asked without hesitation and she froze, lifting her wide, startled eyes to mine, which made me smile. I loved surprising her, seeing her react.
“Ganesh explained the meaning of the Kaleera to me,” I added, and she nodded softly while moistening her lips and I pressed mine together.Those damn lips.
“He should learn to keep his mouth shut, that old man,” she muttered, turning her profile away, and I used every ounce of my willpower not to bury my face in the hollow of her neck, just beneath my nose. Her scent, her warmth from last night, it wasa sweet memory that haunted me. “It’s just a belief,” she finally said, keeping her eyes fixed on the surroundings, then frowned, I followed her gaze and saw Kenji, Ganesh, and Ashwin talking where I had been standing moments earlier. All three of them were watching us. Kenji gently shook his head while Ganesh shot him a sideways look, they were definitely talking about us.
That was a problem for later. Right now, I wanted to enjoy the moment with Sienna, every moment. So I leaned in and lightly nipped the top of her ear, making her jump. She abruptly turned her face toward mine, and I barely had time to pull back to avoid a collision. “What are you doing?” she breathed, more unsettled than angry, which made me smile again.
“You’re dancing with me,moyà malen’kaya gadyuka,” I replied simply, spinning her to pull her closer as she raised an eyebrow. “Keep your promise, Ivanov,” she said, trying to step back, her hands pressed against my chest but I held her in place, shaking my head. “Too hard,” I answered, lowering my face toward hers, my nose brushing hers, and she closed her eyes.“Way too hard,” I repeated, feeling her shiver beneath my hands. “No…it’s downright impossible, Sienna,” I breathed, my lips grazing hers.
“But it has to be,” she replied, tightening her grip on my shirt. “Why?” I let out, desperation vibrating through every cell of my body. “Why, Sienna?” I asked as she reopened her eyes, keeping them fixed on my chest. She parted her lips, then closed them again, shaking her head as she tried to push me away once more but I didn’t let her. She had to tell me the truth. She had to, or I was going to lose my fucking mind. What the hell was stopping me from approaching her, touching her, feeling her, loving…“Tell me, Sienna,” I insisted, my desperation mixing with anger, but she began to struggle in earnest. Suddenly, a hand pressed against my shoulder and I straightened, ready to swing my fist then stopped when I saw Kenji.
“My turn,” he said simply, grabbing Sienna’s arm and pulling her out of my embrace, behind his back. I stepped toward him, fists clenched, but he shook his head. “Don’t do this,” he murmured through clenched teeth. “It wouldn’t work. You wouldn’t get anything like that.”
Sienna had turned her back to me and my breath caught when I saw her wipe her cheeks. She was crying, because of me.
My gaze met Kenji’s determined one again, and I finally turned away, feeling like my heart was about to implode from how tightly it was clenched. I staggered toward the park surrounding the estate as rage and hatred unlike anything I’d ever felt seized me, a rage and hatred toward myself. I had pushed her too far. I had made her cry because I had lost control, of my emotions, once again.
I plunged into the dark park, my trembling hands sliding up to my neck as I began to pace like a caged lion, while Sienna’s warmth vanished, while her scent faded, while peace collapsed into chaos. A chaos that exploded inside my head, images and screams flooding my thoughts as I slammed my fist into a tree, searching for an anchor in pain. Once. Twice. Three times.
But the pain wasn’t enough. Nothing was as powerful over me as the faint brush of Sienna’s presence. And then the chaos broke loose.
“Sasha!” a voice called out as I coughed, dust burning my throat, “Sasha!” I was shaken. I tried to open my eyelids, but they were heavy, my entire body felt heavy. “Sasha!” my mother called again, and I opened my eyes. The first thing I saw and that froze me in place was the blood running from my mother’s eyebrow, her worried gaze scanning my face as she held it between her hands. “Sasha?” my father called this time, patting my body. Why was he doing that? Why was Mombleeding? Why did I hurt? “He’s fine,” my father finally sighed, while my mother continued to examine me.
“Elena,” my father called, sliding his hand to the back of her neck to draw her attention. “He’s fine,” he repeated, locking eyes with her, and she finally nodded. Suddenly, she stood up so fast I struggled to follow her with my eyes, “Roman!” she exclaimed, her gaze sweeping the room. My father stood as well, his worried eyes scanning the room, an expression I had never seen on his face before. “There!” he exclaimed, pointing. “He’s under the table with the other kids,” he said. “They look fine, they were far from the explosion.”
My mother let out a breath of relief and was about to go to him when gunshots suddenly rang out, dad yanked her back to the ground as screams echoed throughout the room.“Blyat,” my father spat, glancing toward the entrance where Grigori and Nikolai were. “I’m going to join the boys and cover you. Go get Roman and leave,” he said, pulling his gun from behind his back. “We’ll join you as soon as we can.”
My mother nodded, her hand rubbing my back as I pressed against her. “Be careful,” she breathed, her hand resting on dad’s cheek. “You too,” he replied, his hand sliding along her face, his thumb brushing her injured brow, “I love you, Elena, here and beyond,” he murmured, resting his forehead against hers. “Here and beyond,” she repeated, holding his face between her hands before kissing him on the lips. My father stepped back, his gaze settling on me, he smiled softly before ruffling my hair. “See you soon, son,” he said before standing and running toward my older brothers.
I watched him disappear, certain he would come back. Nothing could happen to him. He was the strongest. He was my father. “Sasha, stay hidden under the table while I go get your brother,” Mom ordered, pushing me beneath one of the tables,“I’ll be right back. Don’t be afraid,” she said, kissing my cheek before pulling the tablecloth down to hide me.
I listened to her heels moving away as more and more screams and gunshots rang out around us. Children were crying. Women were screaming. Men were shouting. I covered my ears with my hands, my eyes fixed on my feet. Everything was going to be okay. Dad, Grigori, and Nikolai would kill our enemies. We would all go home, and Dad would take me to training to teach me how to shoot. Suddenly, someone grabbed my arm and yanked me to my feet. I met my mother’s blue gaze as she pulled me with her without hesitation, Roman perched on her shoulder. My eyes met my brother’s terrified ones as he sobbed, his hands tangled in Mom’s hair. We were rushing toward the emergency exit when suddenly the door burst open and someone entered.
My mother stopped short, pulling me behind her as she stared at the person. The woman removed her hood, and I recognized her, it was the wife of one of the council members. Her husband had died months ago during a deal. I knew because I had listened at the door while my parents talked. “Elena, did you like my surprise?” she said with a terrifying smile.
Her hair was strange, messy, badly tied, nothing like Mom’s always-silky hair. Her eyes were red, deep dark circles hollowing her face. She wore sweatpants and a hoodie. My gaze dropped to the weapon in her hand. She had a gun. “Mama…” I whispered, but she was already bending down to gently set Roman on the floor before pushing him beside me.
“Take your brother and hide, Sasha,” she said without breaking eye contact with the woman.
I hesitated, I didn’t want to leave her. “Now,” she ordered. My body obeyed before my mind could, dragging my brother beneath a table where we hid. I held Roman’s trembling body against mine as he cried and called for our mother.
“Polina,” Mom said, taking a step toward the woman but Polina raised her gun, her face twisted with hatred. “Your husband caused the death of mine,” she spat, suddenly breaking into tears. “He must suffer like I did!” she screamed, stepping toward my mother, who didn’t flinch, she simply stood her ground.
