“I doubt that but we shall see how this all plays out, shall we not?”
She sighed. “Yes. I daresay we shall.”
Even as she described the characteristics of the man she had once thought to be a perfect mate, she privately rejected him now. She wanted a man with a strong opinion based in his own understanding, sure of his convictions and a man who protected what was his. He would be head of his own home and family while still giving his wife an ear when she wanted it. That would be the man who would attract her now.
In many ways, Oliver was that man, but he would take over everywhere. She couldn’t have that happen. No, they could notbe husband and wife, even though she knew he would protect her and their children with his life. He would also demand his desires be met and his rules kept. No, that would never work for her.
She was not a child. But when he treated her as if she were his little lady, or called her little darling, she melted into a puddle of hot butter. In the last months, she’d discovered she possessed a temper and a vulnerability she would never have admitted before. Neither of which she had been aware before Oliver, but he seemed to see that hidden part of her and accepted it. She doubted any other man would. She longed for the respect and coddling to co-exist. Could she find a middle ground with the duke?
Lilli decided to heed his words on the result if she didn’t find a way to bury her frustration and irritation on this return trip home. She did what she had done all her life. She shoved the larger feelings down deep and forced herself to think of something happy. Today she thought of seeing her home and greeting everyone. She thought of dinner at her table and sleeping in her own bed.
Oliver had been right when he said they had properties and estates to tend. She looked forward to taking up the reins again. Soon she was deep into planning her return to her orderly life, envisioning what she would do once resuming her well-established routine. Sadly, without Gran.
Day two rained and brought back her moodiness which, coupled with Oliver’s matching mood, landed her over his knee and wearing ten smacks on her bottom. He did not start slow and easy. She was crying by the time he had landed the final smack. She cried for much longer than was expected and Oliver showed his less authoritative side by holding her and cuddling her until she had fully recovered and sat up.
While it ended both of their grumpiness, being that close to Oliver when he was kind and gentle, was something she could not allow again. It was her undoing, and she had to suffer the waves of longing that it brought out. The shimmering prickles advanced throughout her body making her breathing more difficult.
There was something pushing against her midsection when she found herself napping across his lap. When she leaned up to sit apart from his comfort, she glanced down to see what had gotten in her way. His manhood was the culprit, and it was huge! No, she needed to stay away from that. She ached so much it hurt. It looked like he was in some discomfort as well, causing her to giggle, much to her chagrin.
“What is so funny, sassy little lady?”
“Nothing, I promise.” She giggled again while glancing at his manhood behind his pantaloons’ flap.
“Ah, yes, this good man’s rod is hard and growing more so.”
“Sir! You cannot speak of those things.”
“As you wish but we will be discussing him at some point.”
Her mortification was approaching overwhelming, and she scooted as far from him as she could.No sense tempting the inner beast, she thought. He laughed heartily and drew out some papers to peruse. She drew out her knitting.
As day three dawned, the rains had stopped, but the roads were treacherous, and the going was slow. Their moods were back to tetchy and after four hours of getting only a little further down the road due to bogging down, Oliver called it a day. Lilli was resistant to his decree.
“It isn’t only about your desires,” she said.
“I am well aware of that,” Oliver replied, his voice even but with a hint of steel beneath.
“Then why are we stopping when we could press on? We’re nearly home, I’m certain of it.” Lilli crossed her arms, fingernailsdigging into her sleeves. "We could make more progress today. The inns looked questionable at best in this area, and I would prefer to sleep in my own bed tonight."
“Because I refuse to risk our lives over mud-slicked roads.” Oliver’s jaw tightened, a muscle working rythymically as he leaned forward. “And I would prefer to arrive with you intact rather than with a broken carriage axle or worse. The roads are treacherous, Lilliana. This is not a negotiation.”
“Why not?” she felt snippy and her tone said so.
Oliver leaned forward, his gaze intense. “The horses are tired, the driver is exhausted, and frankly, so am I. Lilli, be a good girl and let Daddy take care of you.”
The way he said her name, and referred to himself as Daddy, made her wiggly inside. He was firm yet somehow tender, sending a not wholly unwelcome flutter through her middle. She turned to look out the window, refusing to let him see how his authoritative tone affected her.
“Lilli, let Daddy take care of you as he wants to. Your task is to simply allow me to keep you safe by obeying.”
Lilli bit her lip and sighed. A part of her knew he was right, but admitting it felt like conceding yet another battle. She glanced out the window at the earth, brown and slick with rainwater. She knew he was right.
“Yes, Daddy.” It felt unfamiliar as it had before they began the return journey, but it felt right. Oliver’s smile was the answer she needed.
By the early afternoon of day four, Lilli was beside herself in boredom and anxious anticipation of being home. Oliver had stayed quiet during the morning except to answer her few questions and to direct the driver to stop for a meal.
Once back in the carriage, Lilli could barely sit still, beginning to recognized landmarks showing they would arrive home soon.
“We are getting close, Your Grace,” the driver called down.
