“Not at all. I just received a letter from the son, Oliver, the new Duke of Weston. Happily, he has requested a visit to discuss the guardianship agreement that he has taken over from his father.”
“What? Can he do that?”
“Oh, absolutely and in fact, it is expected that he honors his father’s obligations.”
Lilli stood to pace. “Of which I am one, I presume.”
“Correct.”
“Pray tell, what did you say to this Duke?”
“I haven’t answered him because I wanted to inform you, but I intend to extend a time he could visit.”
“And you want me to be here.”
“Naturally. He may be as honorable a man as I believe his father was, though not taken with you yet.”
“Yet. The man doesn’t even know me.”
“True, but that doesn’t matter. If I leave this earth before the age of your majority, I will go knowing you are protected.”
Lilli sat and rubbed her chest. The tightness had become more noticeable in the last year. It came on when she was faced with a dilemma that she was not sure how to answer. Her head was aching, and she needed to go for a walk after she addressed any estate issues that had come up in the last day.
“What day were you going to set aside for this visit?”
“Well, I rather thought that would depend on you. Would Monday be far enough in the future without sounding inhospitable?”
“Yes, Monday would be fine. Remind me on Sunday, please.”Not that she was likely to forget.
“I will. And you know, there is a way to eliminate this intrusion on your life.”
“Possibleintrusion. And what would that be?”
“Marriage.”
Nope. If she was not ready for a man to take over the running of the estate, why would she be ready for one to take over the running of her life?I will just get this introduction over with, impress him with my abilities, and send him on his way.She wanted children someday but today was not that day.
“I have things to do, and I need a breath of air.” She rubbed her chest again.
“Don’t fret too much, my dear. You have freedoms we didn’t have when I was your age.”
“I know.” Lilli leaned down to kiss her grandmother’s brow. “It will all work out.”
“Yes, I am sure it will. This land is your inheritance, and you are a good steward of what is all but yours now. I love you, my dear. Now, no matter what takes you today, I will expect you at afternoon tea since you barely touched your breakfast.”
“Yes, I will be here.”
Lady Elizabeth shooed her away with a smile and leaned back to chat with her companion, who was just entering the room. Lilli felt an intense urge to escape the confines of the house and step into the fresh air, hoping it might clear her mind enough. She must determine how to navigate the chaos that surrounded her.
Yet, the thought of needing a guardian felt absurd to her. She had managed the estate’s operations for several years, albeit with both of her grandmothers’ guidance. Lilli was confident she could continue doing so on her own until she was ready to find a husband. Not that she had even started the hunt for one.
The choices ahead were daunting, and she didn’t want to think more about them. Maybe the Duke would leave her to the estate with an annual check-in on the status of things. Even every six months could be tolerated. Yes. She could propose that.
Sometimes, she longed to relinquish the overwhelming responsibility or rather to have someone to share the burden with, to discuss ideas and work out problems. But at other moments, she clung to it fiercely, unwilling to let it slip from her grasp even a little. The knowledge that her husband would manage the property weighed on her. Even though it wouldn’t leave her hands until she had a daughter or granddaughter toinherit it, the idea of losing control unsettled her. With every loss, her need for full control grew.
She was unsure of how things would unfold if she chose not to remain on the estate. What if her future husband had his own estate to manage? Juggling two would be overwhelming. Yet, deep down, Lilli believed she could manage it all herself and still be a good mother and wife to the right man. There was an unknown element causing the real confusion. It wasallunknown, with no established path. Life became more complicated when considering the involvement of others.
Lilli had matured considerably in recent years and thrived in that maturity. Sometimes she still felt that longing to be cared for and made to feel special. Gran was loving, but she was raised during a time that women were tough and resourceful. Grandmama had been indulgent, as had Lilli’s mother. All sweetness and light, like a grandmother was expected to be.
