He stalked over to the main door and unlocked it. When it swung open, I saw Connor leaning against the wall with a coffee in his hand. He grinned and waved at me before snorting with laughter at the sight of me swamped in Declan's joggers and hoodie.
"Hey, Verity! The boss's clothes look hot on you!"
From the way Declan growled, he didn't appreciate Connor checking me out. And from the way Connor's smile instantly faded, he recognized he'd crossed a line.
"Hot as inphew, it's fucking warm this morning!" Connor coughed awkwardly and pushed away from the wall. "Anyhow, I was just about to knock. The pilot says we have a slot to leave at midday."
Declan nodded once and then slammed the door in Connor's face.
"You can't keep running away, Verity!" His shoulder muscles bunched in anger. I took a big step back as the memory of Anton screaming something similar shortly before he punched me triggered my stress response. Even though I knew Declan would never hurt me, it didn't stop me from trembling like a leaf in a howling storm.
Flashbacks of Anton's fists driving into my ribs sent me to the floor. I curled up in a fetal position, instinctively protecting my fragile body from the blows that were surely coming.
But nothing happened. No fists, no kicks, no pain. Just the feel of Declan gently lifting me up before holding me tight like a comfort blanket.
"I'm so sorry, princess. I didn't mean to frighten you."
The words sounded genuine, but Anton had said similar things after hurting me. Promised to change. Swore he'd never lay another finger on me. Assured me it was a one-off.
I kept my eyes shut while listening to the thump of Declan's heart. The steady beat calmed my nervous system as the adrenaline faded, leaving nothing but exhaustion and nausea behind.
Declan wasn't Anton, I reminded myself. Declan had always taken care of me. Made sure I had somewhere to stay. Given me money when I needed shit. Hell, he'd even flown here to find me. The most Anton had done was beat me senseless and then stalk me when I had the audacity to leave.
"I'll be fine. It's a stupid stress response," I said once my teeth stopped chattering long enough to let a few words out.
"It's not stupid, and at some point, I want to know exactly what happened to make you react this way." I tensed at the idea of telling anyone about the things Anton had done to me. Nobody knew the extent of his abuse. Not even Saoirse. Although she'd known our relationship was toxic from the few things I let slip.
Declan sighed. "You don't have to tell me right this minute if you don't want to. But one day, I hope you'll trust me enough to open up."
He scooped me up and sat down on the sofa, cradling me in his arms. Silence washed over us, neither of us acknowledging the fact he hadn’t let me go.
"I'm mad at you, but only because the thought of you running away again scares the absolute shit out of me, Verity. I can't protect you if you run."
"But I'm a burden." I'd always felt that way. My sister had endured so much pain to keep me safe. If I'd never been born, she could have escaped our father far sooner than she did.
"Princess, you are never a burden. Not to me, not to anyone who loves you."
My eyes welled up with tears. I didn't deserve love. Love couldn't fix the broken parts of me.
"We all love you and we'll always protect you." A thumb wiped the tears away. "Even from yourself."
Given how my life had played out thus far, protecting me had become a full-time job, but I stopped short of saying that.
Hearing I wasn't a burden to him helped loosen the knot of tension in my chest. I'd always been someone's problem, and I hated it. It was why I'd attempted to strike out on my own. Be independent. Build a life away from my sister.
I loved Thea; she was my sister, but she couldn't spend her life worrying about me. She had her own family now. Five husbands, two kids, and a business to run. There wasn't room in her day to clear up my messes.
"I wish I didn't need someone to protect me," I admitted after a beat. "I wish I was more like Thea."
Declan sighed. "I get you feel that way, but if you were more like your sister, you wouldn't be you. And you're perfect just the way you are."
"I'm not perfect." The voice in my head piped up in agreement, happily reminding me of all my faults.Too stupid to live. Fat. Useless. And so the list went on.
Declan cupped my face and glared at me. "Stop. Right. Now."
I blinked as my inner critic choked in surprise.
"You're amazing."
