“If it’s the last thing I do,” Nick replied.
“Are you good, man?” Ryan asked, eyeing Nick with furrowed brows.
“I’m fine.” Nick’s tone was harsh and greatly contradicted his statement. He wished he had put at least a slight effort into sounding convincing. The voice modulator did not help his case.
“Yeah, you soundfine,” Ryan shot back. “Prove it.”
“What?”
“Take off the fucking helmet.” Ryan took a step toward Nick.
“Ryan, back up,” Nick said, and moved away from him.
“Nick, take the fucking helmet off, look me in the eyes, and tell me you’re good.”
The helmet had become a thing of utmost importance. Nick’s key to survival. If Luke’s men recognized him, they would know he was infiltrating them. They would crush his and Kate’s chances of escape and likely kill them both. Though, Nick wondered how many of the men that would recognize him were even still alive.
The helmet was more than just something that hid his identity; it created a new one. Someone who could easily dispose of a man regardless of his moral alignment. Someone who could treat human captives as pets to be fed and kept healthy enough to appeal to a buyer. The helmet held Nick’s sanity within his brain before it could spill from his ears.
Ryan raised his eyebrows, waiting expectantly. Nick thought about Adler who fought hard to keep Nick’s guilt and shame atbay. He sighed and pulled the helmet from his head, revealing what he assumed would be bloodshot eyes and a face covered in grime from digging graves. Ryan clicked on his flashlight and shined it at the ground; the light bounced off and illuminated Nick’s face.
Ryan’s gaze pierced his own. Nick wanted to look away. The scrutinizing expression that had hardened on Ryan’s face turned to sympathy. He sighed and clapped a hand on Nick’s shoulder. The shoulder that recently carried the body of a murdered man.
“Whatever you’ve had to do, whoever you’ve had to be, it’s not you. You gotta hold on just a little longer. We’re gonna get your girl out. We’re gonna shut down this crazy ass operation. And the world is gonna be a better place for it.”
Nick closed his eyes and nodded. Tears formed, wetting the edges of his lids, and he clenched his teeth, willing them not to fall.
Keep your shit together just a little longer,Nick told himself.
The group spent some time discussing the plans further and making a list of gear they may be able to use from Fort Vanguard to assist in their efforts. Nick pulled his helmet on, transforming into the dreaded person he had come to be, and said his goodbyes.
As Nick walked through the forest back to the warehouse, he focused on taking deep breaths and repeated Ryan’s words in his head. Ryan’s concern took him by surprise. Nick almost wanted to believe that he was being given a second chance at having someone like Adler in his life. Someone to remind him who he was.
The warehouse was quiet and empty, just as he had left it. Nick finished out his shift on the roof, watching the stars and wondering if he would ever be able to view them in a peaceful state again.
Chapter 45
Nick laid on the bed, his body drained of physical and emotional energy. The light of dawn crept over the landscape, illuminating a gentle fog that had settled in. The time approached when the other guards would awaken. Nick lay with the mask over his face. Even with the base of the helmet plunging into the back of his neck and his hot breath recirculating back to him, he felt he could fall asleep.
While Nick willed his brain to analyze and plan, weariness usurped his thoughts, which created a strange onslaught of images. The bonfire from the junkyard flickered in his mind, along with the faces of Jeff and David. Tatum’s dark eyes glowing with a ruined childhood reminded Nick of a younger version of Kate. Just as sleep started to pull the curtain closed on his ruminations, an image of Tatum thrusting a knife into his center made him jump.
Nick sat up in bed, wishing he could rub his eyes or run his fingers through his hair. Instead, he leaned the helmet against his hands and let out a long, shaky breath. He was losing control,and if he did not reign himself in, everyone he cared about was at risk.
A scream rang out, echoing through the warehouse. A woman’s scream. Nick bolted from the bed, slinging the rifle around himself, and ran down the corridor. His thoughts were on Kate as he rushed to her cell door, fumbling with the keys to the lock.
“It’s Avery!” Kate shouted from the other side, and Nick cut short his efforts on her door, sliding over to unlock the one next to it. Three guards were sprinting down the hall, stopping behind Nick as he pushed Avery’s door open.
Avery was cowered in the corner of the room nearest the door, gawking at the wall. She pointed to the side of the warehouse that met the outside with a trembling finger. A shiver went down Nick’s spine as something scraped against the metal. The sound made his fingernails ache. Muffled laughter bounced against the walls as the creatures scratched and banged on the metal.
“Fucking Laughers,” a guard groaned, then left the room with the others in tow. Nick knelt beside Avery.
“It’s okay. We’ll go take care of them.”
Nick exited the warehouse, catching up to the other men. As suspected, six Infected were bashing their limbs against the side of the warehouse.
The men armed themselves with the bladed weapons they had on hand and started slicing into the group of monsters. Nick clutched one of the creatures by the throat, plunged his hunting knife into its skull, and let the body collapse to the ground, ready to move on to the next.
A guard raised his blade, preparing to stab into one of the creatures. The Infected caught his hand in mid-air, holding resistance against it as the creature leaned into the man’s face.
