“We’re all monsters, Adam. We all do things we regret, things we wish we could have done differently. You can’t dwell on it, though. All you can do is move forward and try to do your best next time.” Nick knelt, hoping his eye-level stance would be comforting.
“But I killed her! How can I keep going when my dad looks at me the way he does? He hates me!” The tears were streaming down Adam’s face now.
“Your dad doesn’t hate you, Adam. He cares for you a lot. I see it in his eyes every time he talks about you,” Kate said, her voice tinted with sweetness.
“Was this something that happened when you were Infected?” Nick asked.
Adam paused, his lip trembling. “Yes. I don’t remember it, but when my dad made me myself again, I wanted my mom. I wasscared, and my body felt weird. I wanted her to hug me. But she was gone. She was gone because I killed her!”
Kate frowned, unable to imagine what it must feel like carrying that weight around in such a small body.
“I’m sorry you don’t have your mom anymore. Losing someone we love is like losing a piece of ourselves. We can’t ever fix the hole they leave behind, but we can fill it with other things in life. I love Kate more than anything in this world. When I was infected, I would have killed her in a heartbeat. I was in the process of turning, and I remember fighting the primal urge to sink my teeth into her. We weren’t ourselves in those moments. If we allow our guilt to control us, we will waste away. We will never accomplish anything. We will never be able to love anyone to our full extent. You’re just a boy, so you haven’t seen what the world will expect of you, what things you must do to survive, and what decisions you will face. The time will come. And you will have to choose between being a person suffocated by their shame or a superhero.”
Adam’s face betrayed him as the corners of his lip fought a grin. Nick knew his words were a lot for someone so young to take in. This world was not a kind one to those who needed information coated in sweet deceptions.
“I wanna be a superhero like you,” Adam said.
“I know, buddy. Being a superhero isn’t about being a perfect person. It’s about learning from your mistakes and always trying to do the right thing.” Nick ruffled the boy's hair. “Listen, take care of your dad. We found a pretty cool place to live, but we have to make sure it's safe for everyone we care about. Once we do, maybe you can come visit.”
“Really? That would be awesome!” Adam’s cheeks dimpled into a bright, youthful smile.
“Of course. We have to get going, but we’ll be back soon to check on you guys,” Nick said, standing and taking Kate’s hand.
“See ya, Nick. Bye Kate.” Adam waved to them, and they returned the gesture as they headed toward the elevator.
The couple returned to the apartment complex to find Ryan and Grace collecting the things they would need for their travels. Tatum sat on a chair at the dining room table, watching them and asking questions about certain items.
Ryan and Grace had packed away a fraction of everything they had known most of their lives. While Nick followed Ryan around the apartment, offering to help with what he could, Kate regarded the small home. Remnants of memories thickened the air, like sharing a space with friendly spirits. In Kate’s mind, Ryan and Grace danced around her, waltzing to the tune of a life hard-earned and spritzed with romance.
A twinge of pain gripped Kate’s core as she coveted a companionship built on years of trust and understanding. No, that was actual pain. Kate sat at the table, hoping she did not wear a wince in her expression. She took deep breaths, and just as the group was finished preparing, the aching subsided.
A knock at the door caused all the heads in the apartment to turn toward the sound. Ryan seemed unbothered, and Nick reminded himself that the complex had others living within it.
Nick picked up his rifle and followed Ryan to the door. When it swung open, Phoenix’s face grinned at them.
“This guy,” Phoenix jested. “He’s always ready to shoot me.” He let out a laugh despite the confusion on Ryan’s face. “And you didn’t even tell them about me. Now, I’mdoubleoffended.”
“Ryan, this is Phoenix. He’s a friend of ours from before we got to Aqua City. He’s been staying at the fort with us but traveled back here to accompany us, make sure we all make it okay,” Nick explained.
“Nice to meet you, man,” Ryan said and stuck out his hand to Phoenix. The young man shook it, smiling.
“I’m Grace. We were just about to sit down for dinner. There’s plenty.”
“AndIam Tatum! Or Tate if you don’t feel like saying the whole thing. Let’s see. I bite when I’m nervous. My favorite food is pizza. And sometimes I swear,” Tatum said. She stood in front of Phoenix with her hands on her hips, a smirk on her face, and her eyebrows raised.
“Cool. Nice to meet you, Tate.”
The group sat down to dinner—a spaghetti dish Grace put together with canned tomato sauce and beef bouillon. Nick almost laughed aloud as he thought about the meal. Months ago, it would have been the best thing he had ever eaten. Fort Vanguard had spoiled him. He appreciated the work Grace put into it and ate every bite, yet his mind kept trailing off to think of things like crab bisque and steak.
“Hey, Tate. Have you ever heard of a band called Korn?” Nick asked.
“Not this shit, again,” Phoenix groaned.
“Seriously, Nick?” Kate wailed, and her head fell into her palm.
“Korn. Great freaking band,” Ryan commented.
“Yes! Thank you!” Nick was laughing so hard now that tears sprung to his eyes.
