The normally ten-minute walk from the infirmary to the barracks lasted at least twenty as Kate and Phoenix staggered through the commons area. Kate was careful to move at Phoenix’s pace to avoid upsetting his injury.
Phoenix pushed open the door to his room and Kate sat him on the bed.
“You’re welcome to hang out until Nick gets back if you need the company,” Phoenix said. Kate smiled as she regarded Phoenix’s drawn face and tired limbs.
“I appreciate it. I’ve got some things to work out in my head and I’d like to be there when he gets back. Get some rest and give us a shout if you need anything.”
“Thanks for getting me taken care of.”
“Of course.” Kate closed his door and made her way to her own. Relief washed over her when she realized she could return home without the fear of Norman creeping in the shadows or waiting behind the door. The world was not free of bad men, but this one in particular had been snuffed out.
As Kate washed up in the bathroom, the door to her room opened. She blotted her face dry with a towel and tossed it on the counter. Nick walked through the door, his face was red with beads of sweating trickling down the sides.
“How’d it go?” Kate asked as though he had just returned from a job interview or an audition. She shrank back while he tugged off his boots.
“Flawless,” Nick answered. He studied her posture, taking in the uncertainty that swarmed her. One of his hands found hers, and he kissed the back of it. “It’s done. He’s gone. No traces.”
Kate nodded, her gaze drifting sidelong as she decided her next words. Part of her wanted to experience Norman’s last moments vicariously. She longed for every gritty detail. Would it damage Nick to provide a retelling?
“Thank you,” Kate whispered, and wrapped her arms around him. Nick fiercely returned the hug and kissed the top of her head.
“I feel like I took the satisfaction away from you.” Nick pulled away to look down into her eyes. A resolute peace rested in them.
“No. I could have done it if I had to. It’s just, I realized it wouldn’t change anything. He needed to go so that he didn’t hurt anyone else.”
“Yeah, well, I would’ve preferred a slower, more painful death for him.”
Chapter 23
The night brought a harsh wind that whipped their faces as they collected their meals. Steaming bowls of bisque nearly burned their hands as they carried them into a large, open building where picnic tables had been set up to get the residents of Fort Vanguard out of the cold. Nick and Kate sat at the back, eating their dinner in a satisfied, reverent silence.
A woman about Kate’s age walked in, holding a bowl of food in one hand and a small child, no older than two, in the other. The boy’s cheeks were rosy from the outside air. The mother sat at a table in front of Kate and began spooning food into the child’s mouth.
Kate marveled at the fortitude required to keep a child alive through the turmoil and danger that encompassed this life. It was difficult enough to stay alive as an adult. How much more strife did it add to find food for an infant, keep them quiet and warm, and free of sickness in times like these? Kate hoped the woman and child had been at the fort since the beginning of the end.
As she watched, Kate found that her eyes kept darting down the aisles between the picnic tables. She expected to see a man carrying his own bowl of food make his way to the woman and child and sit beside them. None came.
Behind them, Yara passed by, trailed by an elderly woman. There was no mistaking her for anyone except Yara’s mother; the similarities were uncanny. Where Yara’s dark hair flowed down her back, the older woman’s was pulled tight in a single braid. Both had deep-set, brown eyes the color of dirt after a heavy rain. They had the same tight smile that was both welcoming and pragmatic all at once. Yara helped the old woman into a seat, and they fell into a chorus of slurps and clinking spoons.
Nick studied Kate as she observed the woman and her son. As she ate, her eyes would drift discretely to the pair as the mother fed the infant. While there was an astonished curiosity in Kate’s gaze, something else lingered there. A thoughtfulness, a yearning even.
Nick wondered if Kate had wanted children of her own. The idea must have found a place in her mind when she and Connor started dating. When the chemistry between them found its balance and they developed into something serious, the prospect of offspring may have tugged at her mind.
A few times, the thought of being a father had crept into Nick’s thoughts. After he and Liv moved in together, he figured it was only a matter of time before she wanted to get married and start a family. The prospect excited him at first. Then, the state of his mind began to crack, and depression declared a frontal assault on his entire being. Nick could never be a father, not when he could barely entertain the idea of keeping himself alive.
Everything was different now. Nick was different. Not just because the cure enhanced him. Kate had unearthed the best parts of Nick; they were always there buried beneath resentmentand guilt. She was able to chisel them out because she reminded him who he was.
The world they lived in was not the most apt setting for raising a child, and it would take more work than he could imagine. Nevertheless, if being a mother healed the parts of her soul that had cracked in the past, Nick would oblige.
Except, Nick recalled the way Kate had reacted to the tampons he had brought back from a loot run—that deep, expansive loss that had taken shape in her eyes. She had never asked for them. Nick considered that Connor may have taken away not only the dream of creating life but the ability as well.
The hot soup sat heavy in Nick’s stomach, and Kate had taken the last bite of her meal. Nick wrapped his fingers in hers, pulling her hand to his mouth so that he could plant a kiss on the delicate skin. When Kate turned to him, she had tears in her eyes. A brittle laugh forced its way from her mouth, one that was less about humor and more about feeling foolish for the thoughts churning in her head.
“What’s on your mind, pretty girl?” Nick asked.
Kate searched his eyes, contemplating how much to tell Nick, gleaning how much he already knew from watching her.
“Can you imagine?” Kate gestured to the woman and child with a tilt of her chin.
