But I should not care,she told herself, firmly.This is not worth my thoughts.
Her head lifted, her eyes going back to the path ahead – only to land on the very gentleman that she had been trying to forget about. Lady Norah was still talking about Lord Yarmouth, and Beatrice pulled her eyes from Lord Surrey and tried to have her gaze land anywhere but near him, her chest tightening as she did so. To have this strength of reaction to a mere sight of him was telling indeed, but Beatrice did not dare linger on what emotions were, at present, rushing through her. ought she to be thinking very poorly of him indeed, should she not? There should be anger and indignation over his treatment of her, whispering about love and such things before kissing her and then disappearing without a word! Instead, she felt quite the opposite of that, as if to say that his kiss had, in some way, tied her to him.
“Oh, Lord Surrey, Lord Yarmouth!”
Beatrice blinked in surprise. This gentleman, next to Lord Surrey, was the very fellow that Lady Norah had been speaking about? He was tall, with a slim figure and a sharp nose, although his eyes were kind. She personally did not think him remarkably handsome, but, given the pink in Lady Norah’s cheeks, it seemed as though she did.
“How very good to meet you, Miss Williams!”
Curtsying quickly, Beatrice lifted her head and flushed, aware that Lady Norah had introduced her to Lord Yarmouth without her awareness, since her thoughts had been so very many. “And you, Lord Yarmouth.”
“I do wonder if you would like to take a turn about the park, Lady Norah?” Lord Yarmouth asked, pulling his attention away from Beatrice very quickly indeed. “I can see that your chaperone is a short distance behind us. Would that be suitable?”
Lady Norah’s eyes lit up only for her smile to fade quickly as she glanced at Beatrice. “I am afraid that my sister-in-law, Lady Dorset, must stay with both myself and Miss Williams, for I was the one who invited her to Hyde Park today.”
“Oh, I can walk a little ways behind you,” Beatrice said quickly, doing her utmost to avoid Lord Surrey’s gaze and instead, finding it a good deal easier to pretend that he was not there at all. “That would be quite all right.”
Lord Yarmouth’s smile shot back across his face. “Excellent! Although Lord Surrey, if you have no particular intentions this afternoon, mayhap you might walk with Miss Williams whilst I walk with Lady Norah? That way, none of us shall be lonely!”
Beatrice wanted to protest at once, wanted to state that she could not possibly walk with Lord Surrey and that there was no need to offer to do such a thing, but she could not find the right words with which to speak. Lord Yarmouth looked expectantlyto Lord Surrey, and he, after a moment, cleared his throat and nodded.
“Yes, of course. A good thought, Lord Yarmouth.”
“Let me just go tell Lady Dorset.” With a quick smile in Beatrice’s direction, Lady Norah hurried off to tell her sister-in-law, leaving Beatrice to stand with both gentlemen. Lord Yarmouth was much too busy gazing after Lady Norah, and Lord Surrey, it seemed, had found something very interesting on the ground by his feet.
Beatrice’s stomach lurched with nervousness as Lady Norah returned, taking Lord Yarmouth’s arm and beginning to walk without hesitation, stepping quickly away from both Beatrice and Lord Surrey. Glancing at Lord Surrey and seeing that he made no move to walk after them, Beatrice set off alone, thinking it best that she leave him behind. Her nerves were already too fraught, her heart already beating much too furiously for any sort of conversation with the gentleman.
“I know that this must be deeply unsettling for you, Miss Williams, and I am sorry for it.”
Her eyes closed briefly as his voice drew near, snatching away her hope that she would not have to speak at length with him. “You have come to join me instead, Lord Surrey,” she said, keeping her gaze straight ahead. “You do not need to. I am very well able to walk on my own.”
“I said that I would do so, and I am a gentleman who keeps my word.”
Unable to help herself, Beatrice let out a small exclamation of disbelief.
“That is, a- aside from the occasion when I have no other choice but to break it,” he said, stammering. “I do not mean to suggest – ”
A sudden burst of heat – though it was not a pleasurable feeling – burned through Beatrice’s frame, her mouth openingand words coming out before she could stop them. “You are talking about the evening you promised me that you would come to speak with me again and then never did as you had said,” she stated, her voice a little louder than she had meant, although she found it difficult to pull it back down to a quieter level given the roaring emotions swelling through her. “Do you recall that evening, Lord Surrey? Do you remember that moment?”
He turned to her suddenly, swiveling towards her and stopping her directly in her path. “I cannot speak of it,” he said, lowering his head, his voice a good deal quieter than her own. “Iwillnot speak of it. But I can apologize for what I did not do, Miss Williams. Believe me, I had every intention of fulfilling my word but – ”
“Or was your intention only to steal a few moments of pleasure from me and then walk away?” Lifting her chin and hating the hot tears that jumped into her eyes, Beatrice took him in, seeing how he tightened his jaw, how his hazel eyes swirled with dark shadows. Her words came back to her, biting down, telling her that she was wrong in her assumption, and all without his refuting of her statement.
“I cannot give you an explanation,” he said in a low voice. “Whether you believe me or not, Miss Williams, it was not my intention nor my desire to run from you.” With a deep breath, he stood tall again, his shoulders back. “I am afraid that though we are acquainted, that is all we can be now. Perhaps distant, disinterested acquaintances at that.”
Beatrice blinked quickly to push away her tears, refusing to let even a single one come out to cling to her lashes. Not all of what Lord Surrey was saying to her made sense, but she could not bring herself to question it, not when he was so very determined to set them back from what they had shared.
“Shall we continue?”
Without waiting, Lord Surrey began to walk again, following after Lord Yarmouth and Lady Norah. With a heart troubled now by confusion and upset, Beatrice came after him, her eyes low and her spirits sinking. Did she believe him? He was stating, quite clearly, that it seemed that he had done nothing deliberately, that he had intended to do precisely as he had said to her that night. So what then had been his reason for pulling away from her? Why had he whispered words of love and then drawn back? Surely such strong feelings did not simply fade to nothing?
They walked in silence from then on, with Beatrice daring a glance up at him only now and again. Lord Surrey said nothing more to her and did not once let his gaze turn to her. Distant acquaintances were what he had stated, was it not? Was this his way of pushing that distance, then? Was this his way of showing her precisely what it was he meant by that?
“Why?”
Lord Surrey turned his head just a little.
“Why must there be distance between us?” she asked, a sudden thrill of hope pushing into her frame. “Why must we be near strangers to each other? For what purpose do you ask such a thing of me?”
