Jasmine blinked at me, her face softening and she absorbed my words—and their meaning.My heart fluttered through my chest, light as a butterfly as warmth invaded first her eyes then spilled over her expression, ending with another, much suppler smile.
“Y-you want that?”Her voice was barely audible, as if she didn’t dare speak louder and ruin the hope fluttering in the pulse at her neck and beckoning to me from her luminous eyes.
I reached over and took her hand that wasn’t wrapped in the cast, gently opening my fingers so that her warm palm snuggled mine.Never in my life had I felt such a strong connection to anyone before…not even to my son.Well, he and I had both thrown up barriers to protect our fragile hearts, and I didn’t want to spill my guts to Nash as I did to Jasmine.I wanted her to know me because I knew she wouldn’t judge my mistakes and insecurities.She was warmth and light and…and…contentment.
I was addicted to this new range of emotions she brought to the fore, and I couldn’t get enough of them—of her.
“I wantyou.That’s never been a question.I get why you might think it was—but I’ve always been attracted to you, cared for you.Yearned for you.”
She made a faint noise, almost but not a squeak.Seeing Jasmine rattled gave me the courage to continue.
“I get that we’re mature.”I rolled my eyes at the term.“And I get that nothing in life’s guaranteed.”
“B-but you’re young!You could have anyone…”
As if the four years between us were a vast gulf of time.“Now who’s running scared?”
Jasmine slid her palm from mine, touching her hair as she sat up.“I just thought you’d realize I’m too old for you and my heart would go back to yearning and aching, being slightly broken.”She shrugged a little, her gaze dropping.“Seems to be its constant state.”
I tipped my head back and laughed.It was a joyful sound from deep inside.
“Oh, Jasmine, I understand why Cam’s a country music superstar.He was taught lyrics from birth.”
I sobered because she continued to look at me with those large, depthless eyes.We brought baggage to this—us—but we also brought maturity and a better understanding of what we wanted.I hoped anyway.I’d been the one to put the caution in her gaze this time, and I never wanted Jasmine to live any other way than wholly.
It’s what I should have wanted for myself for all these years if I hadn’t let the guilt push me toward self-destruction.
“Look, I loved Carolina, just like you loved Jensen.”I dropped my gaze.“We weren’t much more than kids in those relationships.You and I.”
She nodded.Jensen had been five years older than Jasmine when she met him in her teens, which, atthattime in their lives, seemed like a large age gap.But Carolina had nearly ten years on me.I’d been a young, fit soldier—many women’s fantasy, as I’d later come to understand.Unlike what Jasmine shared with Jensen, I’d been nothing more than a fling to Carolina Syad-Porter.
That realization pummeled my already-bruised pride, putting more holes in my self-confidence that took me years to patch up.
“You lived with Laurence for two tough decades, whereas I lived the past twenty-five years beating myself up for my parents’ choices, then for my inability to connect with my son or his mother.”
I scrubbed my hands through my short hair.It was no longer military-grade high-and-tight, and Jasmine seemed to enjoy the inch-long smoothness as it sculpted to my skull.She’d told me that both Jensen and Laurence had dark hair.
She’d said, when we were in bed together all those months ago, that there was a nobleness to my blond looks.I’d liked that comparison—who wouldn’t?I’d liked that Jasmine was thinking aboutme.
“Don’t you think we’ve paid enough for our mistakes?”
She sat back in her chair, turning contemplative.I missed her touch, wanted to reconnect with her.That scared me, but it also made me hopeful of deepening the connection we’d established months ago.
“I’ve spent a lot of time this year thinking about penance.”
“Well, this is a new chapter for both of us,” I said.I tried to be firm, but I feared my eyes pleaded with her to give us the attention, the try I’d fought for so long.
I needed to feel love as much as she did.Maybe more.Definitely more because it would be the first time for me, but I wasn’t ready to tell her that just yet—not in so many words.
I’d not had affection as a boy whereas Jasmine had been well-loved as a child and by Jensen, which I knew made losing that love devastating in its own way.I just…I yearned for the chance to love her so well.
“A new life.”She smiled.“I like that a lot.We’re turning the page, building a new life.A better one full of love and laughter.I’ve missed laughing with you, Steve.”
This time, she reached over and clasped my hand, and I wasn’t sure who tightened their grip first.
Jasmine glanced over at me as I drove her home.She gripped the edge of her handbag, nervous, as she asked, “Did you want to come in?For a night cap,” she hurried to add.
I shot her a smoldering look and her breath hitched.She licked her lips slowly as a blush crept over her chest and up her cheeks.Tension built between us and I shifted, trying to ease the desire pooling in my groin.
