I brightened at the sight of my grandson.He squealed as he changed course so that he could plow into my shins, yelling, “Gamma!”
Love blossomed, richer and sweeter than any chocolate, as I brushed his hair off his forehead.He was warm from his exertions, his skin still baby soft and perfectly smooth.“How’s my boy?”
“Good.Eat pie.”
I quirked a brow at Cam.“Y’all wanted pie?”
Cam shoved his hands into his jeans pockets and shrugged, a sheepish grin tugging at his lips.“Well, I’m not gonna tell you no.Yours is the best, Mama.”
I laughed and doing so feltgood.Just as it warmed me, heart and soul, to haul Cash onto my hip and wrap my free arm around my oldest boy.I inhaled sharply, tears prickling at our connection, the love flowing between us once more…as it always should have.
“Where’s Jenna?”I asked.
Cam’s step faltered a little, which was something I hadn’t seen him do in ages.Oh, I knew the wound to his calf he’d sustained while on his last tour of duty ached fiercely—and likely would forever—but he didn’t let that mar his stride.Notthisman.No, my boy was a force of nature.A rock star in every aspect of his life, not just as a musician.Though he wrote and sang beautiful tunes, and I especially liked the ones he sang with my daughter-in-law, Regan.She was his twin’s wife and every bit as accomplished as Cam.
Talent surrounded me, and my heart swelled with admiration and love for my children and their spouses.Somehow, against the odds, they’d all not only found their creative stride but found success within the music industry.
“She’s still in bed.”
I sighed.Jenna had suffered a miscarriage nearly a week earlier while Cam was away, performing in Nashville.I’d been the one to hold her as she sobbed out her fear, pain, and grief, Cam’s soothing words tinny through the phone’s speaker until he pulled into the drive at some ungodly hour and swept her from my arms, into his.
“I’m worried about her,” I said, my frown mirroring his.
He pulled out a Werther’s and popped it in his mouth.“Yeah.Me, too.It’s bad, Mama.She doesn’t even want to go to the shop.”
He looked lost, squinting toward the horizon.Jenna, a talented guitar maker, had always found solace in her work.And the guitars she created were breathtaking works of art, as well as some of the finest instruments available.
“How bad is it?”I asked, my voice quiet.
His gaze flashed toward mine, worry simmering there.“Unhealthy.”He ran his hand along the back of his neck, his mouth contorting with grief.“And it’s my fault.Cash here was so easy.I thought the doctors were wrong, that we’d have no problems managing another pregnancy.”He shook his head, tension pulling at his body, slowing his stride.“I shouldn’t have asked it of her, Mama.”
I hugged him harder, offering him support.Because sometimes we had toget through.There was no other way to manage.
“Pie!Pie!Appa pie!”Cash shouted, arms and legs flailing, whacking me with his tiny shoes in the belly and the booty.I heaved him up higher in my arm, ensuring his safety…and protecting my stomach.
“Don’t you worry, my sweet Cash.Pie’s coming for you, little one.Along with some cocoa, I think.It’s a morning for it.”
Cash squealed and wriggled so much I let go of Cam to wrap both arms around the feisty little boy’s body.He was beautiful, with Cam’s dark hair and Jenna’s pale eyes.Freckles dotted his nose and cheeks like pepper spilled on porcelain.Every time I saw him, he took my breath because his expression wasfullJensen.
Oh, how proud that man would have been of his boys.
“What’s wrong with your hand?”Cam asked.“I saw you holding it back there.”
We’d walked back along the edge of the large ranch that had been in the Grace family for generations.The first grave markers in the cemetery dated back to the initial settlers who’d been among the earliest Texas citizens.The walk was only about a mile but seemed longer when holding a squirming youthful body.
“Just a minor cut,” I said, with a wave of the offending hand.“Nothing to worry about.”
Cam clucked at me as he took Cash from my arms as we ascended the porch steps that led to what we still called the Big House, though Cam’s home was now larger.This white clapboarded-side two-story had been built right after the Civil War, making it one of the older homes not just in the area but in the state.Cam had mentioned getting it put on the historical registry, but I didn’t have any interest in the old.My fifty-four years on the planet had taught me the beauty of letting go of the past and looking toward the future.
Myfuture was filled with my children and grandbabies.Just because sometimes I was lonely, feeling adrift in the hullabaloo their broods created, just because I sometimes wished for a lover’s arm around my shoulders.That didn’t matter.I’d buried the love of my lifeandthe worst mistake of my life.No way I was getting involved with another man.Not even a sexy, irritating-as-hell former soldier…
An image coalesced in my mind, and I blinked it away by sheer force of will…mostly.
“I found some of Steve’s peppermint hot chocolate in the back of the pantry.I thought about bringing Jenna some after we get you two situated,” I said.
At the mention of that man’s name, a curl of heat swirled through my midsection.Steve Lincoln was Nash Porter’s biological father.He was a few years younger than me, fit as the day he left basic training as a young man, and had an All-American smile that made mesizzle.I clearly had a type, which was a military man with plenty of muscle and integrity.My one step off into bad boy territory, away from the straight-and-narrow soldier, burned me so badly I had no appetite for another attempt.
But, for all their similarities, Steve was nothing like my Jensen…nor was he like bad-boy Laurence.Steve, for all his good qualities, was a pain in the ass who’d made my life more difficult since returning from Nash and Aya’s wedding.Unfortunately, since that night, I wasn’t in the right head space to forget how much he annoyed me.
