When a nurse tried to take him, I’d been unable to hand him over, too afraid I’d lose him, too.
“She loved you. So much.” I swallowed the lump and cleared it from my throat.
Escher smiled. “I know. You’ve told me. Showed me the pictures.”
“I don’t want you to think anyone would ever replace her,” I said.
Escher snorted. “There’d have to be someone in your life to makethathappen.” He had Leila’s eyes—a soft blue with a green outer ring. I’d loved staring into Leila’s eyes. Escher’s were different from his mother’s—fiercer, more curious.
“We’re not staying here. You know that. I thought you wanted to go home, see your friends.”
“I do. I miss Philadelphia. I miss my friends, but…it’d be nice to have a holiday with more than the two of us,” he went on. “Jake’s mom would have us over. You don’t have to like herthatway, but we could…we could be like a normal family…you know?”
His eyes pleaded. This was important to him. A horn bleated. Escher sighed even as he trotted toward the door. “Gotta go. That’s Jake’s mom.”
“I met someone,” I blurted. “Libby. She’s…special.”
Escher looked back over his shoulder, a grin splitting his face. “When do I get to meet her?”
An answering smile bloomed across my face. “As soon as I talk her into it.”
“Awesome. Can’t wait!”
“Me either,” I said.
My son’s laugh echoed back down the hall, and I rose from the bed, determined to break through Libby’s thick, high, emotional walls.
CHAPTER9
Libby
Hudson sat in my lap,his tiny hands gasping at the shiny satin material of my hood, showing my Summa cum Laude status. I’d done it—I’d graduated with a master’s degree from a top university.
“Want me to hold the kid while you get your diploma?” Enrique asked in a soft voice from the chair to my left.
I shook my head. “Hudson’s coming with me.” He was part of my journey.
Enrique shrugged, but I could tell he didn’t understand. Few people would. I caught Jamieson’s eye where he sat on the stage to the side of the speaker, who was concluding her remarks.
In a moment, I’d cross the stage and shake his hand. The hand that had held me with such surety…that I wanted all over me, learning me…loving me.
As I’d realized in the days since I shut him out, I, more than anyone, should know the importance of connection. I, more than anyone, should celebrate it, lean into it. Cherish it.
I planned to as soon as I accepted my diploma.
The university president stepped back toward the lectern and began calling names.
I crossed the stage with Hudson on my hip, my head high. I smiled at Jamieson as I accepted my diploma. He smiled back, and it lit up those beautiful eyes.Later, he mouthed toward me.
I nodded, feeling that flutter of awareness again in my lower belly.
Sneer Girl was one of the last to get her diploma. Instead of accepting from the president as the rest of us did, she leaned in and said something to the man. He turned to look at Jamieson, who stood next in line.
Sneer Girl said something else and gestured. The president scowled and nodded. Sneer Girl grabbed her diploma and strode past Jamieson in an intentional snub.
The president smiled, though his teeth remained gritted, and he completed the ceremony.
Sneer Girl leaned forward from her chair behind me. “He’s going down,” she said.
