CHAPTER1
Libby
Hudson whimperedas he shifted in his car seat, a slight grimace tugging at his tiny brows. I tensed.
No, please don’t wake up. Not yet…not here! I held my breath as I silently begged him, too afraid to shift my foot over and rock his carrier even.
Please, please, please….
I don’t know why I bothered. My infant sonneverlistened. He was adorable, sweet, already smiling whenever he saw me, but he was a terrible sleeper. Worse yet, he seemed to have a sixth sense when something was important to me…and he fussed, clearly not liking my attention on anything—or anyone—else.
Like this lecture withthisprofessor. I moved my pen to my left hand, which meant I wouldn’t be able to read any notes I tried to take while I rocked the car seat in gentle, soothing motions that sometimes relaxed Hudson back to sleep.
He whimpered again, a bit louder, and a cold flop of sweat erupted from my pores. Please don’t cry,please don’t cry…
I glanced around, my heart pounding. A few students had turned to see where the annoyance was coming from.
I peeked up at the professor—the premier guest lecturer who’d agreed to teach a series here for the semester, an absolute coup for our program, for the university’s students. But he was known to be temperamental, mercurial, even.
And he didnotlike to be interrupted. Ever.
I eased my shaking left hand off my notepad and packed up my things with clumsy speed, my heart heavy with frustration. Not at Hudson. It wasn’t his fault. This whole situation was mine.
Just as I got my notepad into my bag, Hudson’s tiny back bowed, and his face turned redder—possibly redder than mine. He screamed as I grabbed his car seat and tried to wrangle my backpack from the chair.
“I’m so sorry,” I muttered, face flaming, unable to meet the eyes of my nearest classmates. I hurried into the aisle and up the stairs that led to the closest exit.
“Gawd. Bringing a baby to class. What an absolute loser,” the girl behind me sneered.
I hadn’t planned to have Hudson with me tonight. I never wanted to bring Hudson to class, but my roommate was sick. I hadn’t been able to find a sitter on less than an hour’s notice. Not that the girl who’d commented on me knew any of that…or cared.
Sweat made my hands slippery, so I heaved Hudson’s heavy carrier onto my forearm as tears pressed against my lids. This class was necessary for me to complete my degree. I’d already postponed last semester and taken a leave of absence the previous semester to deal with the fallout from Hudson’s birth and the trauma surrounding it. I was so damn close to my goal. And I’d been so excited to learn from Dr. Finch.
Only three more stairs to the doors of the auditorium-style lecture room…
“Ms. Dagon. If you would stop running away, please.”
I paused mid-step, shocked that Dr. Finch knew my name…and my appearance. Worse and worse. This was mortifying. Could I die of shame?
Much as I wanted to, I couldn’t do that to my son. Instead, I paused there, on the steps, quivering.
“Good. Now, turn around, and let me ask you a question.”
I gulped, desperate to bolt. I looked down at Hudson, who stared up at me. I swallowed hard. I was painfully shy on the best of days. This wasn’t the best of days. Sweat trickled freely from my temples, and I fought the urge to burst into tears like Hudson.
“Why did you bring your child with you to class?” Dr. Finch asked.
“That’s what I want to know. I mean,who does that?” the same sneering girl said, loudly to her friend.
I tightened my lips and gripped Hudson’s carrier even tighter, ensuring I kept him safe. I’d always keep him safe. I faced the entire class, desperately avoiding all their eyes and squinting toward Dr. Finch, who stood, one forearm on the podium at the front of the classroom.
“Because my babysitter came down with a stomach bug about twenty minutes before class, and I didn’t want to miss this lecture since it’s right before an exam.”
“I didn’t catch that,” Dr. Finch said.
Of course, he hadn’t. I mumbled my response as I inched toward the doors. With a sigh, I raised my chin, then my voice, and repeated myself.
“So, instead of missing the lecture, you brought the child?”
